How many people is it acceptable to have.....

Well, to me, sex is sex in the good old penis-in-vagina fashion.

I went away and had a little think.

I think I'm trying to analyse something that can't be analysed. An action is just an action, and will be perceived in as many different ways as there are people who know about it.
People like to divide the world up into dualisms, and with sex there's a million, 'dominator and dominated' 'chaser and chased' 'rider and ridden' 'user and used'.... all generally assigned to the two sexes male and female.
Well I've always been against all those unintelligent divisions, so lord knows why I'm thinking about them now, up to a year after most of it happening.
Sex politics are well complicated, and a brief encounter is so completely messy, at least I knew where I was with a boyfriend.
You can't draw any type of conclusions out of anything brief- I think attitude is the main thing. You're only in control if you think you are.

I don't feel used or a slag bag or a bike or whatever, but I obviously don't feel fully satisfied with my experiences as otherwise I wouldn't be posting, and I think that reason for the unsatisfaction is that I want something more meaningful and longer lasting, or generally better like the sort of gratification you get when you've had sex with the same partner for a long time.

Os, I went back and re-read all your posts, thank you. I am all for experience too and always have been. It made me realise I've got a stupid tendency to view my life in little chapters and go at everything like a bull at a gate, which gives me little time to think about what I actually want, only what I think I should be doing. I should really stop this form of mental organisation and go with the flow a bit more.

Thank you everyone x

Oh and spendy, I find your advice very good when I manage to eventually understand it x

Seems to me you had quite a good little think.
Excellent post!

It would seem that way according to her biographers. Starting at 13 or so. Under Mom's guidance. Actually she was being been generous to by perverted fat-cats who preferred her to Mom.

Victor Hugo is supposed to have startled her when he provided her with what is known as the "poet's kiss." That was when she was an international star who was sought on all continents. Particulary the USA.

The Divine Sarah is the book I recommend. Some say the book is a bit reverential. That's code for putting the best possible spin on it considering the circumstances.

At my 25th college reunion a woman approached me and told me of the great time we had together in college. She said she would never forget that night. To this day I don't know who she is. But we must have had sex together.

The Pope himself would agree with that Queenie. Unsullied by rubber goods and chemicals and with no fire-brigade.



There is nothing that can't be analysed. Whether the analysis yields valid results is another matter. A lot of people get a living out of analysing things. One lot analysed the length of time the penis was in the vagine by nationality. I'll not say who won quickest because some of them might be reading this. Turkey I think was longest. If I remember about 13 minutes but there are reasons for that which they didn't analyse. The quickest, which I apologise for mentioning again, was 7 minutes. They covered from the Pacific coast to the Urals and from the snow line down to the Med. There was a vague trend going north west. An astrological sort of thing. Sloooooooooooooooooow.



These sorts of words get used as negotiating weapons. "I feel used--I should get a little pwessie-wessie to make up for it" type of thing. And they are valid enough. Stereotypes in soaps and movies.



That's easy. You are not enjoying thinking that you being against all those unintelligent divisions all that time was not as clever as you thought it was. And your experiences in the wide world are perhaps revising your old ideas and it isn't as easy to go with the flow as saying it is. A flow is a constant challenge. It's got revision built in. It's supposed to be creative. It can burn you up though.

I hardly think "bull at a gate" is a suitable simile for one such as yourself. I respectfully decline from offering an alternative.

Has something happened?

No, nothings happened.
I meant bull at a gate in terms of everything, work, travel, etc.
Sounds painful in sex terms.

Well no, nothings as clever as you first think it is when you realise it.
The reason why it matters is that theres millions who still think like it.

((welcome back))

In that case think it through. Trust the feeling that you want to give the matter some thought and stop thinking that it is a problem. If you throw yourself into activity to distract yourself you can end up looking like Tom when Gerry gets him connected to the mains.

You might think of it this way. The body replaces cells all the time. The skin that experiences all those things earlier is shed and is replaced by pristine, virginal English Rose skin. Three months at an optimistic guess. Then Voila!! the Phoenix rises from the ashes.

Her passport shows a face
From a-nother time and place
She looks nothing like that
And all the memories
Of her recent past are
Scattered in the wild wind. Who the hell else can that be?

Thanks spends.
That was a very nice post.

I'm hoping for a similar experience, with a caveat that she doesn't tell me that her son just got his Phd at our alma mater and he is named after his father...

T
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Life's for learning: we all have to find our own answers. I've never met a sexually normal or average person. We are all nutters.

I stand by my ruling PQ: I think you're way to hard on yourself.

I'd refocus some of that self loathing into social outrage that you are conditioned to feel like less a person for your sexual identity. It should have never been about numbers in the first place. There are people with healthy sexual attitudes that have many partners in their lives, and there are many people who have unhealthy sexual attitudes who may have only one partner. Dare I say, many virgins may have unhealthy sexual attitudes as well.

Stop beating yourself up.

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Fourty-two, of course!

At a time?

42 is the answer Thomas, but what is the question?

T
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If you are an hitchhiker, you know..

Oh no!
Postlude:
Last weekend I met this 25 year old German guy in a club, and ended up having this really intense 10 hours where we walked across london and (i got lost) he came back to my house and the usual old thing happened. But this time it was so totally different, he was really ******* clever and interesting and we had this really electric connection and the same outlook, he was really exited and curious about the world like I am and stuff...
Anyway, we ended up talking all night and then I woke up about 9 in the morning feeling awful but stayed awake just to be with him, and in the end i walked him to the station and it was really intense and weird and he asked me to go visit him and shizzle. (it was his last night in england, he had to go to the airport)
Anyway... so i didn't feel guilty/remorseful/like people were judging me. In fact I felt wonderful and wouldn't have given a **** if anyone has suggested I should feel the above. So... I guess shewolf was right in that it isn't the right guys. I've never really got on with someone like that before, and also I don't think i've ever slept with anyone more intelligent than myself, which sounds arrogant, but i don't mean it to be. So I guess thats what was 'missing...'
And also he wasn't that arty, or that hot, which are my two main judging criteria completely out of the window.

So... we stayed in contact and said we missed each other and all week I've been feeling sick and looking at my phone... but now the texts have petered out and I can't really further the situation without looking like a stalker, since although I've really never got on with anyone so well before I did only know him for half a day in total....
I've decided (with sadness) that it is better to revel in the aesthetic of having something happen to me in the manner it occurs in films, rather than try and push it and **** it all up.

I think I preferred guilt!
So yeah, basically I guess I've just never met anyone i really liked before. It made me realise i didn't love my ex-boyfriends at all, and that I want someone clever that I can respect rather than some tag along that I can't learn from and i end up bossing around... which may sound obvious, but until you've actually MET someone with those qualities, it's hard to realise those qualities are even an option.

Anyway, thanks for everyone's contributions to this thread. And Osso- you've been proved totally right, having this experience (in contrast to the others) has taught me what I want. And apologies since the topic is a bit high-school, but, ya know, i've got an excuse.

Bravo!

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That's disgraceful Queenie. Have you lost your senses? As Ms Greer said- men are like carrots--cheap and plentiful and easily cooked.

Do you really think men respect that sort of thing? He'll be back home right now telling all his mates about this hot-arsed chick he copped off with in London who fell for the intelligence bit.

Take no notice of TK- he encourages that sort of thing to save him making any effort.

Sheesh.

Irrelevant Spendi. Even if the guy turned out to be a tool, her experience is more about acknowledging something about herself. She said she learned more about how she's attracted to men of intelligence and that because of substance etc she didn't feel riddled with guilt. Even if it turns out he's a tool, she'd still have a better understanding of how she felt.

As for working hard, unchallenging people bore me, so I'm' not looking for the easy route.

As I was saying PQ, Bravo.

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