How many people is it acceptable to have.....

I have learned never to ask that question. In fact, I don't want to know anything at all about any guy she's ever dated. I want to be able to pretend that I was her first.

I'm very surprised to hear that anyone is judging you. These days, it's worse than the 70's for christ sakes. Everybody is bangin everybody! Well, at least they are here and they treat me like I'm some kind of freak because I haven't banged anyone in 10 years

Hey, can you spare me one of yours for a few weeks? I like guys with long hair and it's gotta be soft, ok (the hair of course)

I try to never sleep with more than 3 girls simultaneously. Above that, I start to feel like I'm being used.

Oh PQ, you always seem so guilty about the sex play. I wonder if it's the men in England. Perhaps you should try out the American brand.

(pauses)

...avoid Detriot. We can't be too safe.

T
K
O

learning what you don't want can be fun, too

i wouldn't let it bother you. It was something you needed to do. Something you needed to find out for yourself. Maybe now, you need something else - something more fulfilling? Or nothing at all. Some space perhaps.

I wouldn't make judgments about a person based on how many people they had slept with before they were 20. At that age, you are excused anything within the law (and depending on your country's laws - some things outside it, probably)

Peace
endy

im 23, havent got laid for about a year, so 22 years and 16 sexual partners LOL!

intercourse with 7 of them, without a condom twice >.<

the rest was oral.


i think this is a rather large amount, but im on some sex love emotional trip.

:/

most girls i know lose their virginity at 12 and have been with like 30 dudes before age 20.

age 12? thats gross.
Well thanks guys, this does make me feel better. Yeah it may seem high school, but me asking people is only a result of my constant plague of guilt.
My total explosion of antics this year I think was a result of being in a boring relationship for years in a boring area, then going to university and needing to explore things. Conquests are fun, but emotionally unfufiling and I think it's that type of coldness thats turned into such guilt... and the fact that my parents are daily-express-reading orthadox christians who turn the telivision channel over in complete embarassment if there's even a peck on the cheek shown in a programme.
When I lived at home my mother always found out EVERYTHING I did. I remember when I had sex with my first boyfriend she confronted me telling me she was 'mortified her daughter lost her virginity at 16'- she'd found a box in my room and had been watching my stash of condoms gradually go down over a few months.

I think the turning point has come because it's so bloody easy. I can get most men I want, and it's just not fun anymore. It's like got to the point where its hard to draw the line... it's like 'well you're about as attractive/intelligent/arty as most of the others, and I quite want sex so why not?' Actually that bigs it up a bit, but you get the picture. I suppose thats where the issue of 'respect' comes in, but I have absolutely no concept of what that really means. Respect from whom? Am I not respecting myself if I sleep with someone I don't know? If they only want sex and nothing else and so do I then why should I feel used?

And this is so totally stupid but I had no idea that most people lie about their number...
It's such a massive cliche, and I know it's just what the real world is like but I care I just feel like society is judging me to be some worthless harlett when I really don't feel like one..... and yeah the gender thing is true. Very sad and very true.....
Although I do enjoy the irony of how lovely and sweet I come across in real life in contrast to my exploits.

It is only the women who under report their sexual partners, in order to protect their emotionally fragile mates. Men are either honest, or bump the number up.

explain 'emotionally fragile mates'...

Its simple.

Emotionally fragile = men who insist on knowing your "numbers" as some sort of way of judging you, or to compare themselves to.

Adult men, men worth their weight in something other then used condoms.. dont care so long as you dont have a disease or a brazillion children..

Honey... then you are not doing it right

Stop going for the easy, worthless men and set your standards a bit higher.
Pretty soon, with some practice on how to be a sexy woman and how to attract men, you will get men that are worth the time and effort . Im willing to bet right now the men you are choosing are not worth the price of the condom...

you need more practice... sass... angst..

Live it up !

Women under-report, and guys exaggerate? Oh that's how it works?

If a girl I'm dating asks me, she doesn't get an answer. And it has nothing to do with hiding anything, there's just ZERO point in that discussion. And if I were to tell someone, I wouldn't exaggate...no point in inflating that number.

PQ, maybe you're not ready for a relationship...or maybe none of these guys are keeping your interest by not being a challenge...either way stop over-thinking it and do whatever feels right at the time. You don't have to get into someone because you have sex with them.

Poor Nick, are you feeling insecure?

"She's like the village bicycle, babe, everyone's had a ride!"

That line comes to mind reading this thread.

I wouldn't think that being a village bicycle is a particularly effective means of gaining emotional fulfillment, let alone respect. Village bicycles are there to be ridden, what else would anyone use one for? Maybe you feel guilty about having been something of a village bicycle? Maybe you feel guilty about thoughts about wanting to give everyone a ride?

What's "sex"?

I think Queenie has been using these guys to rebel.

Love will find the answer. brb

Are you f'n kidding me? That's a complete a$$hole response.

Double standard...woman talks about sleeping around, and she's the "village bicycle."

Maybe calling people that is your way of gaining emotional fulfilment, or respect. Actually I'd have no idea what I'd be talking about if I said that...and obviously neither do you.

She's having qualms about having had casual sex with a number of partners. I think that along with other things, like her parent's strict morality, thoughts along the line of being a village bicycle may be producing the thoughts of guilt, and questions of respect that she's mentioned in her posts.

No no no no no.

Thats EXATLY WHY I'm upset. I really resent that patronising post and the accusation of being the village bicycle. I do not want to 'give EVERYONE a ride.' What type of person wants to give EVERYONE a ride? Thats just disgusting, I have ten times more self worth than that thank you very much.
I needed to have my fun, and the men I've chosen have all been students at my university or other universities, 80% of which I still talk to- so I don't want anyone thinking I've been sleeping with the dregs of London because it's not true.

Thats the point- I totally ******* resent the fact that now because I'm on number 14 people like infrablue will judge me as some little pathetic thing who goes around trying to make men love her by having sex with them.
I may have said I have discovered my exploits to not be very emotionally fulfilling, but thats not what I was trying to gain by doing it.
It just proves my point, society is telling me that I should feel worthless for what I've done, my parents (if they knew) would tell me I'm going to hell for what I've done, and apparently the first assumption that someone makes when reading that a girl has had a few sexual partners is that she's the village bike.
What about the men that ride the village bike?

Shewolf and slappy, I think you are right in various points.
I think it might be boyfriend time again (potentially) and I think maybe I should start looking for people with more of a sort 'spark ' between me and them, people that MEAN more to me perhaps, or interest me a bit more, or that I want to really get to know. I think that will be hard, since I've only had two boyfriends neither of which i could properly relate to, I was just kind of lumped with them. I don't know. I think I must be pretty crap at knowing how to do things like this, or maybe I just haven't met the right person. Oh, the confusion.

Oh and in terms of the respect thing infrablue, I mentioned it to illustrate that I didn't really know what it had in relation to sex. If a man and a woman both want to have casual sex with one another, then are they not respecting each since they don't want something long term? Or is the man just disrespecting the woman because women are apparently submissive and men take advantage of that.

Golly, this has made me mad. I could analyse it to ****, but I think the phrase 'popped into mind', sums it up really- it popped into your mind because conditioning put it there.
And I bet it was a line out of a rock song.....and I wonder how many women the singer had slept with.

Let's see "How many people is it acceptable to have sex with by the time you are 20" ....and the anwer is

"However many that will say yes"