...I'm having horrible thoughts:
what if, my brain inquires, she doesn't move out today?
Then she would have the fight she fears having...
A fight might actually help. It could either (a) change the ultimate outcome or (b) speed the separation process. You never know. And it would probably feel great to let it all out.
But then, I never was one for civil goodbyes. If I could've managed that, I could've managed to stay. Oh no, I hang on until the Bitter End.
I've always known you're smarter than I am.
What if she wants to come over later to hang out?
How could you even ask? That is just too masochistic for words.
If it happens, call one of us. We'll come over and kick her out ourselves. It'd be a pleasure.
How about this: should she be allowed to attend my funeral?
But she cannot sit with family.
Ideally, she would sit on the back row and sob hysterically into her black lace handkerchief.
When is it appropriate to remove her from my speed dial?!
The day the papers are signed.
Is this part of the anger phase?
I sincerely hope so. And I can help you with that, Joe. I'm great at the anger phase. Can you tell?
How many ways are there for describing the situation?
L and I broke up. (when? Just before the prom?)
"I am moving out." (sounds more like a roommate)
She walked out on me. (Cue Waylon Jennings.)
We've separated. (Um. You mean like two week old yogurt?)
Now, that's funny!
How about..."L moved out" or "We're not together any longer."
After it's final..."We're divorced."
You've done this before. You remember. Right?
What is the difference between a separation and a trial separation?
A trial separation means the two people are hoping to work things out.
A separation means the two people intend to divorce.
I am going to go through all my books and cart the ones I haven't read in years down to the library.
Attaboy. Time to clean out all the cobwebs.
You're going to be just fine.