A good cry on the train

oh man

The last time I cried on the subway was the day I realized there was no possibility that I'd ever run into cav there.

It's the little stuff that whacks you, and then someone does something nice for no damn good reason, and then it's a flood, complete with runny nose.

both cats. <nods>

So as luck would have it, I had an appointment scheduled with my doctor for this morning. I haven't been sleeping very well (gosh, wonder why... .) and there were a couple of other things that have been bothering me, I'm off my feed and my regularness has not been. ANYway, I am prattling along, watching him write down my blood pressure 120/74 (Yes! I am 25 years old!) when he asked me if anything else was going on in my life.

I cratered into mush before his eyes.

About a half a box of tissues later:
I told him the story of this coming Monday.
(Maybe that should be the title of something- This Coming Monday- ?)

Gabe, that's my doctor. You should always have a doctor whom you can call by his nickname. Gabe asked me if I had a support system. Someone I could talk to or get some friendly advice from or just ears to listen.

"Oh yeah", I said, "there's a bunch of people: there's Ossobucco."
"Oh?", he said, "like the entree?"
Yeah, I said, "and this ex-rocker, Bear, who is also the blue-veined throbber and Drewdad and Freeduck and a guy named Nimh. "
"Like the National Institutes of Mental Health?" Gabe asked as he wrote 'some delusions ... imaginary friends.....?'
"No, well, yes, but Nimh's name is just a coincidence. Did I mention Pheonix?"
"The city of Pheonix is your friend?"
"No, she a nice person who lives in Florida with the alligators, there's also Gus who says he lives with capybaras, but I don't think that's really so. Can I have another Kleenex?"
"Who else?" said the doctor I have known for a dozen years as he moved just a little out of my reach.
"LittleK and Kickycan"
"Rappers of some sort?" he asked.
" UM, no, I don't think so. Oh yeah, dlowan who is a bunny in Australia but not the Hefner kind. And Roberta and Eva and lots more."
"Why don't you lie down here for a moment while I go check on something."
"Oh, oh, there's Dagmar who's LittleK's friend and a boxer! "

The door shut.

I lay there a long time it seemed. Tissues from doctor's offices do not have the same staying power of regular tissues. I guessed I should have mentioned that my brothers and sisters live nearby and my two oldest friends in the world have been in contact these last few days, but I thought Gabe should know that I'm in touch with the very best people in the world.

Thanks, everyone.

Joe(the very best) Nation

Diane is right. I love that guy.

What he doesn't know about ironmongery, isn't worth knowing.

I can't tell him to his face, man to man, but I do.

Awwww...

Much huggage.

It will be ok, Joe.

I'm here for you..

Francis (I know a lot about life's delusions and sadness)..

Shucks. Now you're trying to make us feel better?

It can be a bitch waiting for "this, too, shall pass."

Go for a run on the beach at dawn or something.

Another Joe fan, crying along here!

Oh, I see how it is. You're going to buy that crap about Phoenix living with alligators but you question my habitation with capybaras? I'm a little angry with you right now, Joe, but, considering the circumstances I will spare you from a verbal lashing of epic proportions.

I humbly beg your pardon, I think I mentioned my doctor thought I was having delusions, that statement reflecting a lack of belief in your choice of house companions (and godknows what else) may have been one of those delusions.

Joe(I bet there's a capybara sitting on your lap right now.)Nation

Nice try, but I ain't buyin it. Sell your snake oil elsewhere.

Thomas wrote:


Sorry. I didn't see this until now.

Oh boy, Let's meet up. Uh. I have your email don't I?

Joe(Are you an early riser?)Nation

Wait! I just saw that part about you believing there was a capybara sitting in my lap. I forgive you, Joe. Hug?

Here you are in pain and grief, yet you still try to make us laugh ( and succeeded). I am so sorry that you have to go through this, Joe - you of all
people deserve all the happiness in the world. You are one of the nicest
guys around; insightful, considerate, loving , humorous and kind.
You are a gem and the seat next to you won't be empty for long!

Jeeze Joe--that sounds pretty dire I must say. It's life.

Most of my pub mates are like that but they can't describe it as good as you do.

I've tried advising them but nothing really works.

I put it down to feminism. They say I'm a male chauvinist pig.

having a rare moment of truth said:


What's the advice you gave them, spendius?

You have to go in pubs for that Cal. Agony Aunts are partial creatures. Understandably so. Like farmers necking chickens only not as humane.

Awww, Joe. So sorry, I am. So many others have said it better, but I'm among those here for ya.
dev-"goin' -through-a-bit-o'somethin'myself"-j

I'm so sorry to hear of this sadness that has come into your life, Joe. While it may not seem important now, feel happy that you have loved someone dearly enough to feel such grief.

After all, isn't that what it's all about, lovin'.

There's two ways of looking at it dontcha know?

While I know it doesn't compare, when my last relationship ended, I knew it would be harder on her, so the cat stayed with her. I love them both. I'm sorry you're hurting, but it's better than those who refuse to let it hurt.

This kind of thing hurts, and it takes courage to just let it hurt.
K
O