The events leading up to us drifting apart from each other was both of us. What kept us from possibly working something out was her having a massive interest in another man and she could not step away from. For me, the kids, the house being sold or anything that would have been in the best interests of everyone. So now here we are and I don't want her there anymore.
What is the difference if we were apart, with me in the house and her at her at a relatives house or us both in seperate apartments? There is no difference. If we are apart, this is how it would be anyway, right? So why wait. She is the one who is seeing him right now and because of that, I don't want her in the same "residence" as I am living in, even if we are not there at the same time. That would be the house. It's like I am saying "ok, this will be my place (the house) and that will be your place (her relatives)"
Even if we are not there at the same time makes no difference. Yes I know I can't "make" her leave, but I sure hope she will. Her and the kids will be surrounded by her family. Not a bad thing at all. Yes I am splitting hairs, but if I was the one who cheated, I would feel like I do not deserve to live in that house. Just my opinion. Either way, we will both have a place to live where the children feel comfortable.
If she would step away from him completely (and I know she won't), then yes, us splitting time at the house with the kids always there until we sold it would be ok. But her being there while she is seeing him affects me greatly and in turn that affects the kids. That is reality right there. Besides, the kids are going to have to get used to this at some point anyway. Trust me, I have done everything possible to make this work out without doing this, but she is having none of it. What am I supposed to do?
I do not appreciate the "negative behavior" comment. We are both good people who drifted apart. I am still being a good person about all of this while she is not. That is the truth. I gave her trust and more trust and she slapped me in the face with it. I have had enough. It's sad to see someone so good do something like this. Very sad.