Misties
 
Reply Fri 26 Mar, 2010 06:33 am
My huscnd wants a divorce,we have been together 14 years,married 4 of them.we have one child age twelve.my husband has an excellent career which I hav supported him to get where he wants to be,my husband pays all the bills and mortgage,i have been a mother and housewife,i recently found out he has a new partner and has had before he asked for divorce,he wants me out of the house,he wants to buy me out,he has the funds to do that,i dont have the funds to buy him out.i cant afford to keep the property on as I only work part time.do I have to sell to him because he has the funds?.Can I stay here and he pay the mortgage? He has been spending thousands on his girlfriend and not giving me any money,we are not divorced yet,should he be supporting me until I get back on my feet?
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Type: Question • Score: 5 • Views: 3,579 • Replies: 8
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View best answer, chosen by Misties
shewolfnm
 
  1  
Reply Fri 26 Mar, 2010 06:36 am
@Misties,
answers to all your questions are yes yes and yes.
No you do NOT have to allow HIM to buy YOU out. Unless you want that.

I think you need a lawyer.
If the amounts are in the thousands, you sitting at a dining room table with a calculator will not help.

Find a lawyer quickly.
0 Replies
 
DrewDad
 
  2  
Reply Fri 26 Mar, 2010 06:42 am
@Misties,
Sounds like he wants a divorce and still be able to screw you.

Get a lawyer.

Scratch that.

Get a good, mean lawyer.
Green Witch
 
  1  
Reply Fri 26 Mar, 2010 07:01 am
@DrewDad,
Quote:
Get a good, mean lawyer.


Yes, whomever has the best lawyer wins.
CalamityJane
 
  1  
Reply Fri 26 Mar, 2010 09:10 am
@Green Witch,
Isn't that the truth!

A good lawyer can and will protect you and your assets resp. your
best interest in a divorce. Your husband has cheated on you once,
don't let him cheat you out of what's rightfully yours!!
0 Replies
 
JPB
 
  1  
Reply Fri 26 Mar, 2010 09:17 am
Chances are you're going to end up divorced (I assume you know that). The best thing for you to do is move forward without emotion (as much as possible) and make sure you aren't trampled upon in the process.

Two very key items to keep in the forefront of all negotiations (and, yes -- this comes down to a business deal) are

1) financial support for you and your child
2) custody/nurturing of your child

An attorney will help you through both but if it were me I'd make sure that the agreement included 50% custody on his part rather than every other weekend, which is what most women end up with. He has a 12 year old child to take care of. Making sure he does that half the time until he/she is 18 may put a crimp in his ideas of starting fresh with a new partner but tough weenies.
0 Replies
 
Ticomaya
 
  2  
Reply Fri 26 Mar, 2010 09:47 am
@DrewDad,
DrewDad wrote:
Get a good, mean lawyer.

Well, that's easy to say, but what's the point? I'm constantly amazed at the number of folks who think a bulldog approach is always best. Maybe it is, maybe it's not. What's the advantage of having a lawyer who is adept at belittling the opposing side? Often, that's the lawyer who would prefer to go to trial rather than just resolve the issues. Why not get a good lawyer who can advocate the client's position, yet at the same time maintain good and effective communication with the opposing party and his/her counsel, in order to foster agreement and perhaps a resolution that does not include litigation?

Of course you don't want a milquetoast ... the lawyer needs to have a spine.

But, yes ... get a good lawyer.

Misties wrote:
do I have to sell to him because he has the funds?.Can I stay here and he pay the mortgage? He has been spending thousands on his girlfriend and not giving me any money,we are not divorced yet,should he be supporting me until I get back on my feet?

No, you do not need to sell to him because he has the funds. Yes, you can stay there and he can pay the mortgage. Or, you can stay there and he pays you spousal maintenance (which you use to pay the mortgage), until you get back on your feet. (It certainly sound like you have a good chance of receiving alimony/spousal maintenance.) Or, you sell the house, and you divide the equity (if any). If he's been spending money on the girlfriend, perhaps you can claim for "marital waste," since the money he spent on her did not go to benefit the marriage, and get that money back from him. (This is a question for you to ask your lawyer.)
0 Replies
 
Rockhead
 
  1  
Reply Fri 26 Mar, 2010 09:52 am
@DrewDad,
DD, when saying lawyer, the mean is implied.

kinda like saying hot SI swimsuit model...

Wink



echoing the advice to get a lawyer, and to quit being emotional about it.

good luck.
0 Replies
 
BillRM
  Selected Answer
 
  2  
Reply Fri 26 Mar, 2010 10:12 am
@Misties,
In most states you have the same amount of money as he does if not access to it at the moment.

Get a damn good lawyer and get ahold of such paperwork as copies of your income taxes and any other finance records that might be available.

Good luck.
0 Replies
 
 

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