A good cry on the train

We believe revenge is a dish best served cold...and very publicly.

So do I. I'm sure I haven't worn fur since then, probably before many on a2k were born. On the other hand, I do have some leather shoes. And eat some animal meat.

I once borrowed a pair of black shoes from a classmate in college. He was supposed to be an extra in an opera and he couldn't make it so he offered the "role" to me. "Just show up in these black shoes and black slacks and follow directions." Okay. AND you got paid $10.00 which in Boston in 1965 was worth the cost of a movie date and a trip to the Muffin House afterward.

The slacks were mine. They fit. The shoes were his. They didn't. I think I wore about a nine and half back then, these were elevens. I clip-clopped down to the theatre thinking how bad could it be?

In Act One we extras were given big candleabras (five feet tall) to carry into the "Ballroom" on stage. Fine. Carry big thing. Don't trip. Okay. End of Act One.

Act Two : we are backstage with our candlesticks at the bottom of a huge staircase. Right. We, on cue, will walk up the staircase with our candleabras held high and then (in the spirit of World War One trench warfare) go over the top and DOWN the other side of the staircase. The steps on the backside were narrow, but at least I could shove my toe forward enough to get some traction, but I was a little slow and there were some hissed "schnell, schnell!!"s aimed at me as I hit the heights.

The steps on the front (Holy ****. There's the audience!) looked about four inches deep. The guy in front of me started down doing a kind of side step and I followed suit matching thunk thunk step for thunk thunk step. I know it took me an hour to get to the bottom and the Mezzo had already finished her entry song by the time the rest of blackslacked slackers had gathered behind me.

I waved my candleabra back and forth a little with the music making me the earliest known practitioner of the Bic Lighter Salute. They told me not to do that in Act Three.

I hobbled out of the theatre clutching my two fives in one hand and the shoes in the other. Better to walk back to the Back Bay shoeless than risk blisters the size of silver dollars.

Joe(I never knew what Opera it was)Nation

That's 'cos you "got the music" in you.

You were lucky to get to the bottom with your neck intact.

Did you thunk in time to the music?

Oh Joooeeeeeeeeee (do ya need a laugh) Nation....

HEY - I didn't laugh really really hard today 'til I watched this.....


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7L02tCNi0I&feature=related

Like the exclamation mark best!!!!!!!!!!!!?::::;;;;;::::;,,,,,...!!!!????!!!!
Iz (needed to share a laugh) zie x

Brilliant pfffffft kcheeeeuf (!)

Joe, which thetre were you an extra extra in? Do you remember that?

Dag (longest day ever)maraka.

Well, that made me laugh with beginning tears..

Back then, I liked Martin but didn't particularly appreciate Borge. Now I miss them both.

OK, back to irregular programming.

Oh, no, osso! Victor was the gentlest genius of comedy and very early in my education I heard him speak on the Nazi occupation of Denmark. His simple relating of the Danish king, Christian the Tenth, replying to Hitler's demand that all Jews wear the Star of David, that all Danes, including himself, would wear the Star of David stunned me in a way that has never left me. And Victor was funny in the best way, he was the oddball, that made YOU the laughing regular person.

I loved that bit. Many thanks for sharing it here, IZ.
(Too bad there is so much salt water between here and where IZ is, I would give her such a neck massage for like three hours.)

===
Met by phone today with one of the mediators and......

I really liked what she had to say and how she said and her attitude.

I think it will be a really good idea to meet with Ellie (whom I spoke to) and the her partner for the sit-downs. I said I wouldn't be ready to sit down for about another six weeks. (I have to gather some cash.)

I'm having dinner with L's best friend and her new boyfriend tomorrow night.

Joe(Unless it's a trap and L is there...... )Nation

Good, it seems, re the whatchacallit, mediator. (Watch your ass.)
Certainly good re the dinner.

On Borge, I'm the older woman hereabouts, so when I first saw Borge I might have been, say, nine, ten... a guy at a piano. Sorry, I wasn't enchanted, I was without context. I changed on that over time. I don't think I had ever heard the thing re Denmark, though maybe I did, as I had a good view of denmark. I think I'm about six years older than you, Joe. I learned to like Borge from reading, I think.

Yeah, I'm watching my ass. I told her today, the mediator, that I was a bit reluctant to even speak with her because the mediation had been L.'s idea in the first place and L. had not been particularlly honest with me over the past few months.

Her reply was completly non-defensive. "There is almost always some kind of loss of trust between the parties we deal with, otherwise they would n't find themselves divorcing. We'll deal with it as we go."

Joe(dealing)Nation

I haven't been through that so no advice. So far so good. But also, wary is good. I think I'd try not to burble. Although, not knowing about this stuff, I suppose burbling could work. Makes me worried.

I'll work on being quiet since I know nothing on all this.

I also had a family legal situation where the family member was quiet and was taken as guilty (no).

Oy, no advice.

Hey Joe (how good are you hands) Nation

I think it's a good idea to wait a little before meeting the mediator anyhow - it gives you some breathing space.

When Ian and I did mediation (we are very good friends and didn't want to go down the lawyer route) we both had separate meetings with an individual mediator - then - joint meetings with two mediators in the room. It got a little touch and go at times when you start discussing financials and the hurt / bitterness gets the better of you - but the mediators were good - unbiased, not offering opinions - but offering to listen to all concerns and a "respectful" way forward and solution that both parties were able to agree upon. In the end..... Ian and I didn't even use the mediators - we had chocolate cake and tea sat at the table - drew up the agreeement based on the discussions and gave it to the lawyers...... we were lucky - him and I are good friends and we both realised that the marriage was over for years... many reasons - with our 2 children we have to be kind to one another - too much pain already.

So....... mediation can be good (tho in the US it may be done differently) - but the mediators won't be out to get you and they shouldn't be acting FOR L. If you aren't happy hun, during the meeting - you're under NO obligation - you stand up, smile and excuse yourself. Then.... you "dance down the street" and come and have a talk with your mates on here.

K - off to bed - have a nasty cold!

Iz (ahh.... just there... that knot there in my neck.... mmm... got it... coool.... thanku) zie

IZ, Osso, Whomever else,
What I have to work on is saying what I want. I have twenty years of practice of saying "yes" just so there wouldn't be conflict (how frigging whimpy is that? god. It makes me shake my head right now to realize just how pathetic that sounds, but it's the truth.)

Got to get a lawyer to review what the mediators and the two of us (that's an odd phrase now.) come up with. Got to find enough cash laying around on the streets and shrubs to pay for all of it, including a Real Estate Atty. (got two of those whom I know) who can write up the co-op agreement.

Then learn to carry on.
======
Osso, thanks for listening. Sometimes the best help comes from the silent.
IZ: Sorry about your cold. Thanks for the chocolate cake review. I hope I do as well as you did.
===
I am having dinner with Louise's best friend and her boyfriend tonight. I guess they are still friends, she, A, hasn't said one way or the other.

Joe(maybe it doesn't have to be one way or the other.)Nation

I hope it was a good time last night.

Listening along -- sounds like the mediator is experienced.

T
Keep that chin up Mr. Nation
O

I'll second that. Have only discovered this thread and spent odd moments the last couple of days getting up to speed. I am so very sorry for the pain you're experiencing (the pain that is obvious no matter how hilarious the delivery -- which is of course why you're such a brilliant writer -- you do know you're brilliant, right?)

Have no advice to give, just listening.

Tai(and if you write a book, the chapter on running a marathon after a colonoscopy should be called "Running on Empty")Chi

I'm not unacquainted with this, including the 20 years --
I have twenty years of practice of saying "yes" just so there wouldn't be conflict (how frigging whimpy is that? god. It makes me shake my head right now to realize just how pathetic that sounds, but it's the truth.)

Which of course can make me pissy, even both of us pissy. Scenarios begin to set in concrete when at the time there was more plasticity, sometimes.

What, I'm glad you have lawyer backup.

Oooh, that's good.

Ditto.