Quote:Re: Tai Chi(Post 3414797)
Tai Chi wrote:
Tai(and if you write a book, the chapter on running a marathon after a colonoscopy should be called "Running on Empty")Chi
That made me laugh out loud.
If there had been a cat here, the laugh would have scared that cat.
Had dinner tonight with A. (L's best friend)(Sort of, as this plays out). I thought it would be she and her boyfriend but she came alone and he never entered the conversation.
We talked about the break-up. About how L had changed over the past few months. (I told A that in January I had written in my journal that L and I were the happiest and closest we had ever been in our twenty years together and that, somehow, by the 18th of August, it was all in ashes.) She told me that L hadn't gone with her to the Bead Show which had always been a major event of the summer for them and that she knew things weren't good between us but... didn't know how bad things were until L told her she had gotten an apartment of her own. .... They've seen each other only once since August but A. is a teacher and September is Hell Month. And L had Fashion Week to deal with, so,,,,,
I told A. that there is no going back. That if L. walked in right now and said she and the cats could be back tomorrow I'd say "Good Luck to you. The locks have been changed."
====
This is an odd situation. I knew A very slightly before L met her. (She is my brother's wife oldest college friend.) L and she became fast friends, beading partners, they did shows together and spent hours working on their craft in and around our apartment.
I pretty much know that anything I say to A. will at some point reach the ears of L. But I don't care.
I think A. could be a really good friend, she is a genuine person. Open minded and really fun to talk to. And I not the least attracted to her. That's a plus.
I did tell her I wanted to take her to the Pan. Good burgers and cold beer and a sunset.
==
I told her,
just as I've told all of you,
that I was in love until the last moment,
that I never gave up on L.,
that I got up on the morning she was moving out
and looked at her sleeping in my bed
and I said "I said 'Goodbye.'
just then and just then,
as the goodbye slipped out and down
my love died.
I hardly felt it go.
Maybe that's what death feels like,
one moment here,
the next
breath,
gone.
but no pain,
just then, just then,
just then.
Pain isn't due to arrive
with his bags
until night falls.
I like to think upon that last moment of love.
She looked so small,
there upon the mattress,
the covers needing a fluffing,
a cat asleep near her furthest foot.
Love breathing her last shallow rythmns,
her last shining feelings,
the last few grains of it's time, gone.
Joe(rest well tonight, dream deep tonight, spring forth with joy in the morning.)Nation
)