A good cry on the train

BBB: welcome to the second most self-absorbed thread ever to grace these pages. (The first was my marathon thread.) I have no doubts that sometime after the first of the year, after there is much more settling, I will get a cat or two just to have someone to nag me for pieces of my ham sandwich.

My life is turning into a series of possible Country and Western Songs Hits:
Tequila Shines as Love Dims
I Thought I Was Done with Crying
Talking with Myself (and Why I Don't Listen)

We should have a contest to see who can write the tear-jerkiest lyrics based on those titles. Go!

Yesterday.
S, my good and dear friend, arrived. Surveyed the apartment , it's a bit barer now, but clean, my brothers and sisters, 'tis clean. I even washed the black shower curtain and hung a new liner. (The old liner ought to have been sent to the Centers for Disease Control to examine for new forms of life.) We hopped the A and then the E down to the World Trade Center Site where I could show him that nothing is being accomplished there. Still just a raw hole in the earth. BUT around the corner, right on the river is SouthWest NY where you sit and sip just to the shoreside of the bobbing sailboats and the big fat blobs of shipware called yachts these days.
Tequila shines in the form of Frozen Margaritas, just the right sparkle off the ice crystals while you and your best friend relate and ruminate over the mysteries of the modern female. I think we decided either we are crazy or they are. I voted halfway each way. I know I'm nuts.

We then proceeded to walk around. Down the esplanade where you can see Liberty so close you think you can touch her. You can watch two hundred sailboats try to avoid each other as they crisscross the churning harbor. You can stand and enjoy that perfect pause in the conversation where you realize that everything's been said.

Then you go to the Frying Pan.

We sat at Frank's table. Right in the front. More drinks. Martinis for me, gin and tonics for him. Opinions and anecdotes flew in the breeze. I couldn't remember the word for WINE LOVER that begins with an O. We tried using his Blackberry and my Treo to find the word. No dice. (I believe the subject at that point was Scrabble or Scrabble and Obsessions.) We stayed until the three kayakers (whom I thought would get blown all the way up the river to the Tappan Zee) made it back to safe harbour. At least someone's in safe Harbour.

OH! That could be another title!! Someone's in Safe Harbour tonight. Get working.

Back at the apartment, we 1)ordered dinner, 2) watched the Americans win the gold against a truly great Brazilian volleyball team and 3) wound down a whole set or series of emotions. There's nothing like a pair of ex-Catholics for creating a series of emotions.
===
I told all my co-workers today. Some I told one on one, a couple I kind of gathered into a little group. I said that if I seemed even more crazy than usual it was because L and I had separated. (I have been a bit odder than usual even for me, so..... .) Anyway, it went well and I'm thinking about putting the ring back in Pop's little case again now that the news is out.

I thought I was done with crying.
But, of course, the one skinny kid who I have to growl at for coming in late and get onto from time to time about not focusing on business. He's the one, of course, who upon hearing the news, spread his arms wide and grasped me to him as if I were his family.

I had to flee upstairs to the far windows so they could not hear me bawl.

Joe(but I am feeling closer to safe harbour everyday.)Nation

It just never completely goes away, does it?

Yes it does. But never in just a week. Or even two.

The pain becomes less as time passes. I lost my best friend who I still think about often, but most of the pain is now gone.

I don't think so, Roger. But then it more and more doesn't apply, as the people who you knew aren't there anymore, including yourself, if you know what I mean.

Still attached to people somewhere in my mind.

Not sure I agree with this Joe, but don't wanna argue with a person in your delicate condition.

I was thinking about you on and off during the day. Wondering how your return to work went. Glad it went not terrible.

Keep hanging in, kid.

And btw, if you want a place to stash your extra keys, I've got a drawer full of friend's keys. I'd be happy to add yours to the mix.

so what is the word for the wine lover? i've been looking (thanks a lot!) and didn't get anywhere past connoisseur...now i'm sleepy yet i must know.

it's always the skinny kid that gets you

oenophile...
I think
(my doubt is due to the little red dots under it)

'zackly right, Osso.

I'm prepared to go into training to become one....

Joe wrote
"My life is turning into a series of possible Country and Western Songs Hits:
Tequila Shines as Love Dims
I Thought I Was Done with Crying
Talking with Myself (and Why I Don't Listen)"

I like a little doggerrel (sp?) as much as the next person, but starting in on those titles would just feel like mockery, Joe.

However, when you do write those lyrics they have to contain the word hearrrrt.

Of course, I'm not going to let my respect for your potential pain stop me adding to your title list.

I Tried to Brush up the Pieces of My Broken Heart, but they Ran Away and Hid under the Couch.

and the old perennial,

Love Hurts (but not as much as losing a testicle, did I ever tell you about the time I..........)

Keep your pecker up, Joe.

Osso, but of course, is correct. I kept thinking it began Oeono... or something. That's the kind of lettering I need sometimes in Scrabble. AAIEE(!!) Something one screams after picking the letters EEAAI two times in a row. 5 points.

Keys to Roberta: now 'tis on the list. We probably are going to have to meet in person in order to accomplish said task.

I'm making a list of tasks.
1) throw away all old herbs and spices.
2) move tall book unit away from corner
3) go to beach again
4) no, stay home and get everything organized
5) but I need to relax
6) you can relax in the park after you get those boxes out from under the bed to see what is in them.
7) Boxes?
8) there's three boxes under the bed, you need to...
9) I thought we were going to the beach after my appointment on Friday.
10) I thought you were going to cancel.
11) Well, I was, but then I thought I would go and then go to the beach.
12) what? All the way back uptown to get the umbrella and chair? You can't take those to the doctor's office.
13) I can't??
14) When are you going to order the groceries?
15) Tomorrow, for late delivery on Friday.
16) Just let me know.
17) I will as soon as I do.


Joe(do be do be do)Nation

OY!

It's a novel!

Joe(A whole new version of the Sweet Nutcracker)Nation

Nope...don't think it does ever go away. You just learn to deal with it in a different way.

Iz(it's pants tho when you try to deal)zie

Joe (you are a star) Nation

You're doing great - know it won't feel like it - but you are.

Hugs to you. x

I'm around.

Hey, Joe, how's today going?

I got up early to go run and didn't.
I filed emails for the Co-op and researched grounds for divorce in NY State.
I went to work.
I told another co-worker the news. This one was harder and easier :
1) I have the speech down and 2) he knew L having met her more than a few times. What made it harder was, godlovehim, he kept trying to help me understand. Very sweet man married to a woman not unlike L in many ways.

I started a new book about how the brain (our brain) changed four thousand years ago when we started to read. Just think. These words you are reading and your ability to understand them are the result of only a few thousand years of evolution but they have changed us as a species immeasureably.

I had a few bad moments. I wondered for about ten minutes why in the hell she was still kissing me goodnight the Sunday night before she told me she was leaving. (Cue Country Song...) I stopped myself from even wondering.

I had a stroke of invention figuring out that I could bring more than one lunch to work at a time thereby releasing me from hauling a battered salad around the park for an hour and a half before it gets back in the refrigerator.

I called my other sister, the one who is Chief Pysch at a major State University Hospital. We had a good talk. You should always have a sister who understands the human condition, if you don't, go get one.

I have decided that being funny is a kind of defense and that I like playing defense.

I have become increasingly horny in the past few day which is good in a bad way. I have come up with a strategy to deal with the urges. Anytime I feel a real urge I have to do push-ups. On the first urge, I have to do one push-up, on the second urge, I have to do two pushups, on the third I have to do FOUR push ups and so until the feelings subside. Each new urge doubles the number of push-ups I must do. It's really working.

Excuse me. I have to go now.

Joe(I have three thousand two hundred and forty push-ups to do.)Nation

You get it, Joe (play defense) Nation

What REALLY makes Joe happy? Now is the time to wonder...

RH

All this sublimated sexual energy will do wonders for your marathon training.

BTW, I have been humming "Oh Lorrrd, It's Harrd to be Humble..." for more than 12 hrs, now. I hold you responsible, with all your talk of Country and Western. (Grumble, bitch, moan, fade into distance, muttering)

The best part of A2k is not the answers that appear, but, ah, the right questions.

Joe(dunno that answer just now.)Nation