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ME MYSELF I - The pros & cons of the solo life

 
 
msolga
 
  1  
Reply Thu 20 Jul, 2006 07:46 pm
OK, OK, margo! Embarrassed

Before too long!
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the prince
 
  1  
Reply Fri 21 Jul, 2006 01:00 am
I met someone while I was in Toronto. After the act, just lying snuggled up made me realise how much I miss having someone.

Too bad he did not want to meet up again.

Too bad I am back to my normal self.
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ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Fri 21 Jul, 2006 10:47 am
are we going to have a little talk?
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msolga
 
  1  
Reply Fri 21 Jul, 2006 05:46 pm
Surprised Gosh, that was a big move, G! After all your resolutions & all ....
Anyway, I never really believed that you would remain solo forever & ever! No matter what you kept saying! Very Happy
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msolga
 
  1  
Reply Sat 29 Jul, 2006 08:33 pm
<sigh> There are times, even if living alone basically suits one, when a person can feel ... well, unloved, isolated ... Like this weekend, for example: A is caught up with the film festival & missing in action, W is resting, exhausted from helping her daughter move house. A (a different A ) is in bed with the flu. And K is best left alone for a while, trust me! And me, well there's not much happenin', baby! <sob> (Mind you, I have not lost track of that feeling of utter aloneness & desolation, when living in a doomed duo situation! That was worse!)

So I ask, when, on the occasions you feel sort of stuck & alone, what sorts of things do you do to perk yourself up? Me, I'm about to go for a long walk (the sun is out! Very Happy ) & finish the gardening I started earlier in the week. But I hate the negative feelings that can creep in, when it feels like everyone else is connected & you're not! Sad
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littlek
 
  1  
Reply Sat 29 Jul, 2006 08:46 pm
Gardening and walking are two things I like to do whenever I feel down or disconnected for any reason - they tend to reaffirm my sense of belonging to nature. You could do something nice for a random stranger (serve at a soup kitchen, give a homeless person some change) sometimes that kind of thing makes me feel connected to the world. Another thing I feel might help is putting yourself into perspective to the rest of the universe. I'm guessing this could backfire for some, but I love going to NASA and looking at pictures of the space rovers and thinking about how small and precious earth is. Or I'll check out the hubble images of far off celestial bodies and events. I think those two things help me feel connected because I realize how small earth is and how much I am part of it. Also, I know there are millions of people out there who enjoy following various space programs too.

And.... if all else fails, I play computer games and just ride it out.....
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dagmaraka
 
  1  
Reply Sat 29 Jul, 2006 09:54 pm
Gardening works for me as well, so does painting (albeit horribly), general cleaning...sometimes just going for coffee among people, even if alone, or to a gallery. i spent a few days in Provincetown alone lately, went to beach, museum, tower monument, shops...it really made a difference. i treated myself nicely, as if i was on a fabulous holidays (though I just stay for a day after we do a show there). i don't need to talk to people to perk up, but sometimes just being among them helps, especially if i hide at home for too long.
also doing something for someone, like littlek said... the horrid painting is for my sister, who I know will be delighted no matter what it looks like.
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littlek
 
  1  
Reply Sun 30 Jul, 2006 12:18 am
<it's not a horrible painting>
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the prince
 
  1  
Reply Sun 30 Jul, 2006 04:24 am
I go online and look at porn Twisted Evil
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Letty
 
  1  
Reply Sun 30 Jul, 2006 06:20 am
BM, msolga, and that is NOT an acronym. <smile>
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msolga
 
  1  
Reply Sun 30 Jul, 2006 06:26 am
Laughing OK!

It's good reading what other folk do to counter the glumskies!


(G, you're wicked! Laughing )
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Letty
 
  1  
Reply Sun 30 Jul, 2006 09:39 am
Well, msolga, The pro of living alone is that you are only accountable to yourself. The con of living alone is that there is no good conversationalist around to listen nor to hear.(except one's self. <smile>)
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Treya
 
  1  
Reply Mon 31 Jul, 2006 07:47 pm
Re: ME MYSELF I - The pros & cons of the solo life
msolga wrote:
How many of you A2Kers live alone?
What do you see as the good things about living the solo life?
And what are some of the down sides for you?


Pros:

There's no one to tell you how to spend your money...

There's no one else TO spend your money without telling you...

There's no one there to complain because you didn't have time to clean up after them...

There's no one to mess up what you just spent three hours cleaning...

If you want to stay up late... no biggie... you won't be missed in bed anyway...

If you want to get up early, you don't have to worry about waking anyone up...

If you don't feel like eating a real dinner, you can just pop a bag of popcorn without any complaints...

There's no obligations to go to silly gatherings of the "in laws" and socialize with people you have nothing in common with...

Just to name a few things.

Cons:

You are alone.
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Lash
 
  1  
Reply Wed 2 Aug, 2006 06:47 am
When it feels lonely:

I do excessive, ZsaZsa grooming, very deliberate, spa-worthy exfoliation,...moisturize everything, pedicure, ...

wash car and detail it....

catch up on e-mails to friends and family...

practice Spanish (I have to do more of that today. My mother got me a book in anticipation of Spanish class. )

used to groom Jack, but I gave him to my son. Miss him.

go for coffee amid other people.

Drag Mom or daughter out for said coffee or tea, or movies.

It's getting easier. I've lived alone for about 8 months. It's MUCH better than before.
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Wilso
 
  1  
Reply Fri 4 Aug, 2006 09:12 pm
Personally, I've had enough of the solo life. I can't wait until Nee gets here.
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msolga
 
  1  
Reply Sun 24 Sep, 2006 02:15 am
Well, I was going to go up the coast with my good friend, W, today ... but the weather forecasts were so alarming (gale force winds, rain, hail -even snow in some bits of the state! - that we thought the better of it. Didn't want to end up as a "rescue" story on the evening news! Laughing

Anyway, we had a lovely day together - as always - nothing like chewing the fat with your closest friend over lunch, then coffee, then cake!

So about an hour ago I got home. (with 3 heavy, smelly bags of mushrooms for composting for my garden in my boot.)

Oh no! Shocked One of the trees I'd planted myself 4 years ago, had watched grow bit by bit, had nurtured & loved & admired ..... was blown over in the mad storm that obviously took place in my absence.

So what to do?

First have a glass of wine & mourn the poor tree. Snapped off at the base, it was! Look at the gaping hole left by its absence. Oh.

Then, into action.: Go out into the gale & bring those bags of compost into my backyard & add them to the pile already nicely breaking down there.

Drag the remains of the (heavy!) tree away so it's out of the way. Making mental calculations about the next green garbage day. I'll have to chop it up to fit the wheely bin. Maybe 2 or 3 bin loads?

Decided on the next tree to fill the gaping hole. Yes, I know the one!

So here I am with another glass of wine. All's been done. No sweat!

Really it was so easy.

It mightn't seem much to you, but it just occurred to me that not so long ago this little episode could have seemed something of a disaster. My ex would have probably been somewhat put out, but would have dragged those bulging bags of mushrooms & added them to the compost heap. Then he would have "dealt" with the fallen tree ... with me watching on because he insisted it was appropriate, or something ......

You know, it really can be so much more straight-forward when you're alone & you just have to cope yourself! You just get on with it & do what you need to do when there's only you!
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Tico
 
  1  
Reply Sun 24 Sep, 2006 07:45 am
>applause for msolga<

Every once in awhile I have one of those Helen Reddy days (you are invincible....), I just wish that I had more of them.

I've gone back to school in search of a new life. Now there's something that may not have occurred to me while my husband lived, or if it had, it's something I've done without interminable discussions and delays for "more important" things.

The arguments I didn't have:
This is sudden!
Is this really about your career or is there something we need to discuss?
It's an awful lot of money.
Are you sure? Maybe you should investigate it more. Why don't you look at ....
But now we won't be able to go on vacation.


OTOH, once decided and launched, I definitely feel the lack of his (usually tacit) support. Sad
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sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Sun 24 Sep, 2006 07:51 am
Wonderful, msolga!

My condolences on the loss of your tree, though. :-(

And Tico, I've been reading about your educational journey with admiration -- good for you.
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msolga
 
  1  
Reply Sun 24 Sep, 2006 04:25 pm
(taking a bow) Why, thank you, Tico!

And congratulations to you, too! Good on you!

Sometimes we only know what we can actually do when we have to do it! Very Happy
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msolga
 
  1  
Reply Sun 24 Sep, 2006 04:30 pm
sozobe wrote:
Wonderful, msolga!

My condolences on the loss of your tree, though. :-(


Ah, my tree, my poor little tree! Sad
One of my first plantings when I moved here.
The gaping hole where I can now see the fence! Sad
Still the rest of my garden, front & back, is doing fine! Every single tree, plant, herb & ground cover planted & nurtured by yours truly! Very Happy

Thanks, soz.
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