How can I deal with a boss that is unreasonable?

I think I already gave him a second chance. At one time since he cut my bonus program without even letting me know (which was a good amount of my income) I told him that I was going to take a second job as a waitress at night. He freaked out because he said that I would be sh*t the next day. I told him that it didn't make much difference because I am up that late normally! He then promised me benefits and to put a small bonus structure into place to help me. That was in Oct/Nov time frame.....have I seen either of those? NOPE!

He has always wanted to turn this business over to me and its a great offer, but I would like to keep my sanity. I need the change in my life and I know that he won't change. Before it changes hands, he won't change how we do business. We are on the up and up but I like to have policy, procedure and structure. I can do that with myself, but he won't conform to making it easier for me. He already told me, he was always micro manage and he won't change just how he does day to day operations!

If he can't even deliver small promises to make me from not taking a second job......I don't think he can sweet this pot enough to keep me right now.

Then imo you gave him that 2nd chance and he probably won't change. Too bad he doesn't see a good employee (I am assuming) when it is staring at him in the face. Good luck in what you decide.

He has said to many people how great I am but doesnt show it to me. I think tomorrow will be a big wake up call to him.

I realized that he has put so much on his plate and then gave me the stuff he doesn't want to deal with because he knows that I have to. If I were a small business owner, I don't think I would of put all my eggs into one basket. He basically just threw the responsibility into my lap and never learned the new way of mtgs since the downward turn. If I were him, I would of learned with the rest of us, gave some lead way to the employees but always made sure that I knew what's what and how to survive on my own because you can't rely on "just an employee".

I am sure many of you would agree with that as well.

Second chance
Sounds like you tried hard to give your boss a second chance HK.
I suppose I would feel a bit guilty too if my action led to someones occupational downfall. Even if he brought it on himself.

Alleviate that discomfort:

Remember he is in the wrong; it's like he just wants to use you; doesn't care for you at all

Your in the right;
were the colonies wrong when they fought for a better life apart from their oppressors?
Your like William Wallace, like Scotland ensuring a better life for yourself and everyone around you.

When your happier your family is happier. Remember the perk your grandfather got just from seeing that you were happier yesterday!

I know that my mother's job has certainly caused her difficulty at home. The stress from a disrespectful boss continues even when shes with family. It hurts to see someone you care for in distress and not be able to do anything about it.

Hes not happy right now with his life right. Maybe the change will help him. It wasn't until after he started trying to expand his work that he began being so insensitive right. Without you he'll probably have to revert back to one business or change jobs completely. Look at it like this: neither you or your boss are happy with the way things are. This might give him time to reflect and realize what a jerk hes been.
No need to feel guilty...your helping him :wink:

Thank you for that rainkeeper, when you mentioned about my grandfather, it really sunk in. I will be letting my boss know actually Friday or Monday at this point. They took my grandfather off of food and water so it should only be a matter of days at this point we are told. I contacted the new employer about pushing my start date back by a week and they were fine. I know that I wouldn't be 100% for them to start on the 4th and they understood! It's already a good feeling when you have a company that is working with you before you even start to work! Most companies could just think that I would be useless for a while and not hire me. I guess kind of like my boss.

I will try not to feel guilty, everytime I feel guilty, I will repeat to myself some of the things that have happened.

I am still open for all advice at this point since my head is a little cloudy with my grandfather.

Btw, the other interview went well, didn't pay as much and didn't seem like there was much room for advancement. So I am feeling good about my decision.

HK, I know this has nothing to do with your question, but I was wondering why they would take your grandfather off of food and water?

He has lung cancer and when ever we try to give him water or food, he starts to choke and they are afraid of him aspirating to death. Since everything was making him choke, and made it worse for him to breath because of it going to the lungs.

Of course I am at work, sat up from 430 until I had to shower to come to work just to make sure he was breathing good since he was in soo much pain and not responsive. We have a suction to get some of the mucous out and if there is anything stuck if we were to feed him.
Well my husband calls to tell me that he sat right up, said he was hungry and they fed him a couple small cups of apple and pineapple sauce! He didn't cough or choke the whole time. Regular liquids however make him choke. I get to see him at the bad times and everyone else at home is getting to enjoy him talking and eating!

So they contacted hospice and they said if he can do it, then go for it! He's a fighter! So its up and down! My husband tells me this, I cry because its so exhausting.....one day he is so bad, the next he's great!

Since I was crying at work and tried to hide it from Mr. Italian, he caught me anyways....so I tell him whats going on, because I may not be here tomorrow or the next day depending. I get, "well, thats what cancer does, sucks doesn't it?"

I don't think I need to tell anyone how I felt, I am sure you all know!

HK, I'm so sorry. Your boss is a f***in ass!

I hope my question didn't make things worse for you. If so, I truly sorry.


((((((((((((Hellokitty)))))))))))

Oh no your question didn't. It helps me to talk about to people who care and are not the ones who are around me in the house all evening. So I welcome the questions! It helps more than you know!

I'm sorry too that he is that way.....today he will feel that he's in complete control.....tomorrow or Friday (not sure which day yet) he will have a wake up call!

Jeepers crimidity (sp??) - at a real business you have been given time off under the circumstances - some sort of leave either paid or unpaid depending on the size of the company.

I know I had some one reporting to me that hard a serious illness in the family and we gave her several weeks off with pay.

Hang in there girl. My thoughts are with you and I can't wait to see you get away from that total ass of a boss you've got there!

Hang in there, Miss Kitty, the current job is almost done.

Prayers and good vibes to your grandfather -- for whatever is best for him now.

I just wanted to let everyone know that my grandfather passed late Wednesday night. I am headed back to work on Monday only to give my two weeks notice. It's been so hard and there is not a second I don't miss him. But he's not suffering now. I appreciate all of you for your support and kind words.

i will let you know how it goes after I turn my letter in tomorrow.

Have a good night all and take care!

I'm so very sorry for your loss HK!

((((((((((((HK)))))))))))))

We'll be thinking about you..


Rest in Peace to your grandfather.

Good luck HK

Thank you all again for your condolenses.

My boss calls in this morning, rather than asking me how I am, he starts right into this "Whats going on?" I reply with seeing what is all here to gather what needs to be done. "did you get the msg off the machine?" Me--yes "did you call them back yet with all the answers?" Me---I don't have the answers just yet but I will call them, I am sure they will understand. "did you get the info back on the other file through the credit bureau?" Me---I haven't even checked yet, because I have 531 emails that I am sure all mostly junk....I will know soon enough. "ok, well I will be in to go over everything, we have a lot to do and I don't want to lose momentum"

I want to shove my two week notice up his inconsiderate a$$!!!!!!!! I shouldn't even give two weeks.......but i am the kind of person who does things right. But this MF'er is just ridiculous.

Sorry for the curse words, I may just explode. At least I have finished crying, its all turned to rage at this point.

Curse away girl, curse away. You've earned it and need to get stuff off your chest! I do the cursing whenever it needs to be done, so it's all good ;-)

We're here for ya!

((((((((((HK))))))))))

I guess I will wait right after lunch so that I don't ruin my whole day. I had planned to do it early this morning, but I was too emotional from my grandfather. I wanted to get those tears out of the way so I can be strong and stand my ground.

Good thinking and best of luck to you. I'll be thinking about you.