How can I deal with a boss that is unreasonable?

Also chiming in with Freeduck in saying "stand up for yourself"!

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Kick him in the balls

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When my husband worked here for a period of time, he flat out told him that he thought he was treating me like s**t. He was so defensive and said that he would never hollar at me, and he has never been disrespectful or hurtful. I stood up to him today by telling him that because he doesn't listen to what I have to say or trust me, we lost a loan over it because he underestimated......he's still in denial on that one! Some how the blame will get pushed back to me.

I'm not tryin to sound cocky....but he couldn't possibly find someone in this down mortgage market to replace me. No one would stay and no one has. I thought that it was because he was hiring people who were incompitent. It's just because he needs to feel like he is the king of this city since everyone knows him.

I had applied to a bunch of places and one did call me back. Pay is a little less, hours are great, benefits are great. I will definetely check into it.

Kick him in the ball??!?!?! Oh how I wish sometimes!

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Hi Kitty,

I think you have my boss. ALthough mine is not openly condescending, we can often sense it. In our central office it is also just me and him.

Try this: Tell him that if a), b), and c) don't change by X date, you will have to resign. Tell him you are frustrated and have started looking around for other possibilities.

If that doesn't prompt changes in his behavior, nothing will. And if nothing changes by X date (in a month, or two... however long you're willing to give him to prove he can be a manager), leave. Because as it is right now, you are enabling him to be a jerk. If you don't stand up for yourself stronger, he will also keep doing it to others after you.

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dagmarka,

I should try that. Sometimes its hard to speak with him, but the time is coming and I won't be pushed around any longer.

I just hope that this job that I spoke with someone about works in my favor. I need outside interaction. I am at work now and we are so slow that I have all this time to spend on here. I don't like to use company time this way but when you are all caught up with today's work and more than likely tomorrow's work.....what do you do?

Thats why I wish I were at home with my grandfather on his birthday, but I guess I only have 2 more hours to go!

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Your boss is a self-made man who has been promoted to his level of incompetence.

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Hey, good luck with the place that called you back HK!!! I know I would much rather settle for a little less pay and be treated well, than to being working for an abusive jerk like him.

You go girl!!! :-D

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Kitty--

Until a better job comes through, go to work every day with the idea that business is slow, so you're going to have to fill your time dealing with Mr. Italian in a way that is healthy for your psyche.

Every time he lets loose with one of his Masterful tirades, listen and congratulate yourself about how clever and mature you're being as his resentment rolls right off your back.

Your primary job used to be mortages. Now it is dealing on a professional level with a lunatic.

If you plan to have children, this will be excellent practice.

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So, yesterday I took a mental health day (which I never ever do) and plus since my grandfather was kind of out of it on his birthday and seemed to be doing really well when I woke up. I felt that I deserved it to take the day off to be with him and clear my head from everything.
I called in to say that I was taking the day to take care of my grandfather (which was not a lie) so my grandmother could get out of the house for a little bit and my husband had to do some running around. Can you believe he calls me at 11 a.m. to see if I can come in because he doesn't want to leave the phone unattended?!? I told him that he can forward them to his cell phone, but he didn't want to do that because he had to be someplace. He's insane, doesn't want to miss a call but doesn't want to go to plan B to rectify it. He called the one time I left the house to grab a bite to each with my uncle and no one answered it so they didn't have to lie about my whereabouts.....he called 3 times in a half an hour. It was all over nothing. Just something that I couldn't make heads or tails with until someone calls us back! I told him that when I don' t answer the phone, it usually means that I may be really involved with my grandfather. UGGHHH!!! Evil or Very Mad

Now since we have been slow, everything I did the day before took me up until today possibly even Monday since the things I have to do today are pointless. Today he says that if I am going to keep taking days off, maybe I should go part time and collect partial unemployment. Of course that sounds nice, but yesterday was a prime example as to what would happen, he would call me 5 times a day. I told him that I am not going to need a lot of time off but I am taking a week off without interruption from him when the time comes. At first I thought he was being nice to the part time but collect partial unemployment to spend more time at home and still get paid....until he started about how it effects his business and he would be losing out on money and what not. Totally just killed what I thought might of been kindness....turned right into selfishness!

I have 2 job interviews now one on Monday and the other one we are trying to set something up for this weekend.

Do you think he was giving me the opportunity out of kindness and his arrogant mouth just couldn't keep it at that? I am just so biased against him right now that I think everything he tells me is just crap!

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The very best of luck with your interviews HK.

You go girl Cool

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Montana wrote:

The very best of luck with your interviews HK.

You go girl

THank you!! Very nervous and excited at the same time. Because leaving here will be liking doing a break up almost! Not looking forward to that part of it!

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I know. I've been there too. Had a boss just like him once and quitting that job felt like a break up as well. He wasn't always a bad guy, but when he was as ass, he was a big one.

In three years that I worked for this guy, I only took 2 days off because my son was sick and the second time I called in to say I couldn't come in because my son was home sick with a fever, he actually came to my house to ask if he could feel my sons head to check and see if he really had a fever.

That did it for me Laughing

I was glad in the end that I didn't have to deal with his attitude anymore. The monkey was off my back Cool

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Montana wrote:

...... he actually came to my house to ask if he could feel my sons head to check and see if he really had a fever.

Wow, that is going way too far on his part.

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No doubt, which is why I quit right there, as I showed him the door ;-)

He sold his business right after I quit Cool

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Since I live less than a mile from here, I am surprised he didn't stop at my house to check up on me! It was like he knew to call as soon as I left the house for less than 45 minutes to grab a bite to eat!

I told him that I had a dr's appointment on Mon because its the only time this lady can meet me during the day to interview......so he asks what do I have to get done. I proceed to tell him that its a gynocologist....he wanted to know which one. ( I didn't even have an answer because I am in between doctors right now) So I calmy looked through my purse as if I had a name and number.....he got bored with me trying to find this "gyno's" name and just said Ok, well I hope you will be fine.

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Montana wrote:

In three years that I worked for this guy, I only took 2 days off because my son was sick and the second time I called in to say I couldn't come in because my son was home sick with a fever, he actually came to my house to ask if he could feel my sons head to check and see if he really had a fever.

I would suggest telling him you are sick with some sort of gyn issue.

I once was hasseled by a boss because I didn't have my cell phone on during lunch when a client couldn't reach me - I was doing my once a week 45 minute volunteer at a local school - I returned the call as soon as I got the message - the client had to wait a whole 20 - 30 minutes and it wasn't anything that was important. I was so close to telling him sorry at the time of your call, I had my feet in stirrups with my gyn looking at my vagina. I figured that would have shut him up?

Men, especially male chauvinistic pigs, seem to have a difficult time and don't question you whenever you mention anything "female" related.

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hellokittygirl777 wrote:

Since I live less than a mile from here, I am surprised he didn't stop at my house to check up on me! It was like he knew to call as soon as I left the house for less than 45 minutes to grab a bite to eat!

I told him that I had a dr's appointment on Mon because its the only time this lady can meet me during the day to interview......so he asks what do I have to get done. I proceed to tell him that its a gynocologist....he wanted to know which one. ( I didn't even have an answer because I am in between doctors right now) So I calmy looked through my purse as if I had a name and number.....he got bored with me trying to find this "gyno's" name and just said Ok, well I hope you will be fine.

Wow! I would have told him that this was a personal question and none of his business! He sounds just like my old boss. His name isn't Ron, is it?

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Linkat wrote:

Montana wrote:
In three years that I worked for this guy, I only took 2 days off because my son was sick and the second time I called in to say I couldn't come in because my son was home sick with a fever, he actually came to my house to ask if he could feel my sons head to check and see if he really had a fever.

I would suggest telling him you are sick with some sort of gyn issue.

I once was hasseled by a boss because I didn't have my cell phone on during lunch when a client couldn't reach me - I was doing my once a week 45 minute volunteer at a local school - I returned the call as soon as I got the message - the client had to wait a whole 20 - 30 minutes and it wasn't anything that was important. I was so close to telling him sorry at the time of your call, I had my feet in stirrups with my gyn looking at my vagina. I figured that would have shut him up?

Men, especially male chauvinistic pigs, seem to have a difficult time and don't question you whenever you mention anything "female" related.

Yeah, that would have been a good one!

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HK could always tell him that she has this huge hemorhoid that she needs to have removed Laughing

She wouldn't even be lying Cool

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hellokittygirl777 wrote:

Since I live less than a mile from here, I am surprised he didn't stop at my house to check up on me! It was like he knew to call as soon as I left the house for less than 45 minutes to grab a bite to eat!

I told him that I had a dr's appointment on Mon because its the only time this lady can meet me during the day to interview......so he asks what do I have to get done. I proceed to tell him that its a gynocologist....he wanted to know which one. ( I didn't even have an answer because I am in between doctors right now) So I calmy looked through my purse as if I had a name and number.....he got bored with me trying to find this "gyno's" name and just said Ok, well I hope you will be fine.

My goodness great minds think alike - I was writing mine as you posted yours! I believe that it could be illegal for him to ask about a medical condition - at the very least most larger corporations have a policy where you cannot ask.

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How can I deal with a boss that is unreasonable?

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