On the edge and toppling off....

it's happening - has been for over an hour or longer...

i knew when it was happening, i called them, they said it was not possible to talk and they would ring me back - that was at 6pm

i'm at a place where i have my friends, my chosen family, but i don't want them to feel what I'm feeling- Kbro is here and I've just told him, I am here with him within hug range - FQsis will be home in half an hour or so

i can't dump this on her when she arrives, and we have 4 children here who are laughing and playing outside, i cannot react right now... or feel or whatever i'm supposed to do, i don't know what i'm supposed to feel, i just feel as tho there is a pain in my chest and i can't breathe, but of course i am, breathing, quiet and i'm very calm, plastic

there is no point in reacting to something i don't know about, even tho i know it's going down

but FQ and I will talk later

after the phone call

i'm hoping R will find some calm from somewhere, or some reason, or something, i am willing calm on him, willing him to just be - i don't want it to go wrong, i don't want anything to happen

i hope they can manage him

i hope he can self- manage his black and white world

i just don't know what's happening but i know something is

waiting

3 Replies

@Izzie,

we'll wait here with you Iz...

((((ommmmmmmmm)))

1 Reply

@Rockhead,

ommmming too

(((Izzie)))

1 Reply

@Tai Chi,

I'm here too dear. ((Iz))

0 Replies

@Izzie,

<here>

1 Reply

@Izzie,

your A2K friends are here for you

(((Izzie)))

0 Replies

@ehBeth,

thanku...

he has self managed...

kick off - not major, no cuts

stable

there is a new director there who acted in a positive way towards R as well as getting him to accept responsibility - will await the police next week and R knows if he kicks off again... it will be one kick off too many

i am breathing

FQsis has come home

have spoken for a very long time to his keyworker - a lot of things have been discussed

hoping Rboy will keep it together tonight

there is a meeting with SS on Monday - they will be accountable too, by me - they have had my anger today and will receive a calmer anger and push from the House on Monday

it's so hard to know how to react - not react

i am so grateful for you all - and to be here

and here with FQ where I feel as tho I can breathe again.

Hoping not to receive another call over the weekend.

Not waiting too though now, that's the difference, I don't feel as tho I am waiting for the call.

thank you all.... thank you

<and breathe>

it's time for him to let go of the past

maybe we all can if he can self manage

hoping and praying

breathing.

6 Replies

@Izzie,

breathing's good.

0 Replies

@Izzie,

me too ((Iz))

0 Replies

@Izzie,

That is positive news! Even slow progress is good. A new, positive-thinking director will help.

0 Replies

@Izzie,

Good to hear. (The new director sounds like a positive influence, yes?)

0 Replies

Relieved.

0 Replies

@Izzie,

Good to hear. I was here (well, actually out, but never mind) without managing to type my support, Iz. Thank goodness for the new manager, not only for R, but for others in this kind of situation.

Keep being yourself, you are good, and not plastic at all.

1 Reply

@ossobuco,

Yes, perhaps this new director who met R for the first time and showed him he was listening to Rs fears, and who then acted on them immediately by contacting SS, will give R the hope that finally he may get to leave care and still have the support he so desperately needs, whilst taking responsibility for his life, in his capacity, without being in a care placement setting.

I hope so.

I talked for a very long time with the manager and then the key worker. We are all singing off the same sheet here and have the same goals to make this transition one that R can go into, and access the support when required, which will be on a daily basis. Our demands - SS may not agree - we are fighting for the funding... they will have to fight for the funding, I have no say any longer.

I just need to get SS to do this by the book. My wrath will be noted - but they cannot ignore my questions and the way in which I have asked them. The Children's Act is very clear for kids who have been in care.

Quote:

With reference to the Children (Leaving Care) Act 2000

I would like confirmation that the following has taken place and evidence of the same:
For each eligible child, the local authority shall carry out an assessment of his needs with a view to determining what advice, assistance and support it would be appropriate for them to provide him under this Act"
(a) while they are still looking after him; and
(b) after they cease to look after him,
and shall then prepare a pathway plan for him.

Quote:

I would request a copy of the assessment of R’s needs etc and confirmation and detailed documentation of the how this process has been explained to R and confirmation that R has indeed understood what his rights are. I would request a copy of the pathway plan for him.

Quote:

The authority shall keep the pathway plan under regular review.
(8) The responsible local authority shall safeguard and promote the child’s welfare and, unless they are satisfied that his welfare does not require it, support him by"
(a) maintaining him;
(b) providing him with or maintaining him in suitable accommodation; and
(c) providing support of such other descriptions as may be prescribed.

Quote:

I would like details and confirmation of how you propose to maintain him in a suitable accommodation and what support will be provided.[/b]

My reading evidences the following:

Quote:

Parental responsibility is defined in Section 3(1) of the Children Act as
'all the rights, duties, powers, responsibilities and authority which, by law, a parent has in relation to a child and his property'.
It is the people with parental responsibility who have the legal authority with respect to their child; they are the decision makers who must be consulted.
It is important to realise that for children in public care their parents retain parental responsibility; either:
• sharing it with the local authority, in the case of those on Care Orders (see below); or
• entirely, in the case of those 'accommodated' under Section 20 (see below).

Quote:

I asked Social Services for copies of the meetings etc and was informed I was not entitled to them.

Quote:

Finally, and most importantly, I would like your confirmation that you accept full responsibility for the “plan” that you propose in arranging for Ryan to leave care.
If I am unable to get a satisfactory reply my solicitor will contact the media and my MP.

Amongst a few other paragraphs which may have been a tad, but justifiably harsh.

Anyhoo... for the time being I believe he is over with my friend in the town for the weekend

and now I will go to sleep.

Thank you again for letting me talk.

2 Replies

Good post, Iz, for you and others who will be dealing with SS. Have a good sleep.

0 Replies

@Izzie,

Quote:

and now I will go to sleep.

Thank you again for letting me talk.

Phew. It's over.

And now at last you can rest, Iz.

Good work with social services.

And now, please rest. Smile

0 Replies

Ah, ((((((((((IZ)))))))))))

a thou, no, a mil, no,,,, a gazil
good.. super
squishy sweet
kissyfaced
thoughts of
tender love
should be smacking up against
your roofbeams
just about now.

Sometimes they sound like raindrops,
(they are very good at disguises).
Sometimes they are just the air
between you
and those clouds
blowing across
those stars
in that heaven
that is all above us all,
which means, of course,
we are all here with you
under this one galaxy-filled umbrella.

We cannot change the course the stars are on,
but we can sit close and share the ride.

Joe(your so very dear friend)Nation

0 Replies

@Izzie,

Izzie wrote:

he has self managed...

kick off - not major, no cuts

stable

((( Iz ))) Best news (all things considered) I've seen in ages!

Izzie wrote:

it's time for him to let go of the past

maybe we all can if he can self manage

hoping and praying

breathing.

joining in on the hopes and prayers.

keep breathing

0 Replies

Sleep well and deeply, dear friend, and know that you remain in our thoughts, our prayers, and our hearts.

0 Replies

@Izzie,

Well - this is good. Rest well. Thoughts and prayers - you know.

1 Reply

On the edge and toppling off....

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