On the edge and toppling off....

Thanks mis and dev. I'll be ok. Lots of stuff on too many plates and the sink is full to overflowing. This too shall pass but I do appreciate the life ring.

(((JPB)))

I miss Izzie...I wonder how work was? (((Izzie)))

She is abed, or ducking...

hurts... when your child wishes to die...

i've written pages I cannot post... i can't describe it in legible terms

i'm gonna go rest for a while now.

Hugs, hun.

I'm rough this morn, but am e-mailing you now...

lemme know when you're awake.

My fingers are ready to dial.

HUGS!!!!

Cannot imagine Iz (((IZZIE)))

No Missy - sweet girl... don't try to imagine - I would never wish anyone to understand or imagine.

It's been a rough day - he's struggling a lot - birthday's have always been difficult for him.

He once said if he hadn't been born our lives would have been perfect. He will never comprehend how loved he is - by all of his family. But I can understand why he feels "not loved"

It's been 5 years since the self harming started. September 8th, just after he started secondary school was one of the worst days of our life. Since then, most days have been a struggle for him.

They are in the past - and I've just got to keep believing that one day he will find some peace within himself. If he could only do "rational" ... well, he can't.

I keep thinking of what Noddy has said to me in the past. I wish I had her PM's right now to read back.

I just got a call from Tulip.

Life is starting a new chapter as of 5 minutes ago.

Forward..... it's the only way. Looks like we may be starting a book together.

Hugs, hun. Many times over.

me too Iz

Oh, (((Iz-))) I second that emotion, JPB. I'm so sorry, Iz-.
Feel like maybe I shouldn't be writing this right now with all you're going through, but at the risk of offense I need to let this out. Don't read it or disregard it if you want.
I just need to ramble. In my mind I'm waxing a bit poetic though I'm sure it won't come out that way. It just seems to me that I haven't been myself for a few months. I miss me. I know I must continue this process of going through old memories, but the funny thing is I thought I was truly done! That's why I went ahead and started the course. I thought that was done with and I was ready. But sh*t no! <sorry>. I know it needs to happen so that I can get myself out of the way and be of help to others, but I sure didn't know it was gonna be like this. I'm trying to drag myself around out of the haze of anxiety and just do what needs to be done. There are times when I feel frozen. I can't let it win. I have to keep on keeping on. Sometimes that can be the hardest thing to do!... Right now, I'm crying for both of us, Iz-. I hate that you are in pain. I hate that anyone is in pain...
Now back to regularly scheduled life!

nope -- gonna sit here with you a bit, if you don't mind.

Keep on keeping on, indeed. Sometimes that means forcing yourself to put one foot in front of the other, sometime it means taking one step back, sometimes it means standing still and taking a breath. It's all worth it, dev. You're worth it.

((((( DEV )))))

I'm here, too, Dev. I don't talk a lot, but I take up space, and keep the critters honest...

Thanks you, guys. How can I possibly tell you what your words and just your mere presence means to me?! Oh, cr*p, I'm crying again! But, it's a 'good' cry.

cool

The moose and squirrel will take up space while you go get your homework done

Hey Iz mean what I say We can do it girl x

Oh Tulip.... I know... I can see us doing it... we've both got a focus forward now... and heck - we can do it. The Brits in Business. Maybe.... just maybe we could pull this off. Huge risk... massive... "risk nothing, risk all". Will await your email link.

Oh Ima here too..... Dev - know the "losing me" feeling...

but strangely - something will happen and "me" returns and kicks the ass of misery-me.

It's hard right now - but there is always something that makes me step sideways - then I get a new direction. Heck - it's all over the place - but as long as it's not backwards - then that's OK.

You'll find your way too... and we'll be here for when you need to sound it out. Really - not going to leave you - do talk when you're ready - if you need to - don't apologise for feeling the way you do.

You're a good gal Dev - believe it. Step by step. One at a time. xx

What are you two in cahoots about? A business venture? I'm on pins & needles. What gives? Curious minds want to know!

mmmmmmmmm........ Enquiring Minds..... or perhaps "Healing Minds" mmmmmmmmm



could be we are off on the biggest risk of our lives here...

if we don't try.... we'll try again.

Nothing ventured... nothing gained!