24
   

On the edge and toppling off....

 
 
JPB
 
  2  
Reply Mon 8 Sep, 2008 06:28 pm
Thanks mis and dev. I'll be ok. Lots of stuff on too many plates and the sink is full to overflowing. This too shall pass but I do appreciate the life ring.
mismi
 
  2  
Reply Mon 8 Sep, 2008 06:52 pm
@JPB,
(((JPB)))

I miss Izzie...I wonder how work was? (((Izzie)))
Rockhead
 
  2  
Reply Mon 8 Sep, 2008 06:56 pm
@mismi,
She is abed, or ducking...
Izzie
 
  3  
Reply Wed 10 Sep, 2008 08:02 am
@Rockhead,
hurts... when your child wishes to die...

i've written pages I cannot post... i can't describe it in legible terms

i'm gonna go rest for a while now.
Rockhead
 
  1  
Reply Wed 10 Sep, 2008 08:09 am
@Izzie,
Hugs, hun.

I'm rough this morn, but am e-mailing you now...
0 Replies
 
JPB
 
  2  
Reply Wed 10 Sep, 2008 08:33 am
@Izzie,
lemme know when you're awake.

My fingers are ready to dial.

HUGS!!!!
mismi
 
  2  
Reply Wed 10 Sep, 2008 09:58 am
@JPB,
Cannot imagine Iz (((IZZIE)))
Izzie
 
  2  
Reply Wed 10 Sep, 2008 12:55 pm
@mismi,
No Missy - sweet girl... don't try to imagine - I would never wish anyone to understand or imagine.

It's been a rough day - he's struggling a lot - birthday's have always been difficult for him.

He once said if he hadn't been born our lives would have been perfect. He will never comprehend how loved he is - by all of his family. But I can understand why he feels "not loved"

It's been 5 years since the self harming started. September 8th, just after he started secondary school was one of the worst days of our life. Since then, most days have been a struggle for him.

They are in the past - and I've just got to keep believing that one day he will find some peace within himself. If he could only do "rational" ... well, he can't.

I keep thinking of what Noddy has said to me in the past. I wish I had her PM's right now to read back.

I just got a call from Tulip.

Life is starting a new chapter as of 5 minutes ago.

Forward..... it's the only way. Looks like we may be starting a book together.





JPB
 
  3  
Reply Wed 10 Sep, 2008 01:21 pm
@Izzie,
Hugs, hun. Many times over.
mismi
 
  1  
Reply Wed 10 Sep, 2008 01:46 pm
@JPB,
me too Iz
0 Replies
 
devriesj
 
  3  
Reply Wed 10 Sep, 2008 01:51 pm
@JPB,
Oh, (((Iz-))) I second that emotion, JPB. I'm so sorry, Iz-.
Feel like maybe I shouldn't be writing this right now with all you're going through, but at the risk of offense I need to let this out. Don't read it or disregard it if you want.
I just need to ramble. In my mind I'm waxing a bit poetic though I'm sure it won't come out that way. It just seems to me that I haven't been myself for a few months. I miss me. I know I must continue this process of going through old memories, but the funny thing is I thought I was truly done! That's why I went ahead and started the course. I thought that was done with and I was ready. But sh*t no! <sorry>. I know it needs to happen so that I can get myself out of the way and be of help to others, but I sure didn't know it was gonna be like this. I'm trying to drag myself around out of the haze of anxiety and just do what needs to be done. There are times when I feel frozen. I can't let it win. I have to keep on keeping on. Sometimes that can be the hardest thing to do!... Right now, I'm crying for both of us, Iz-. I hate that you are in pain. I hate that anyone is in pain...
Now back to regularly scheduled life!
JPB
 
  1  
Reply Wed 10 Sep, 2008 01:59 pm
@devriesj,
nope -- gonna sit here with you a bit, if you don't mind.

Keep on keeping on, indeed. Sometimes that means forcing yourself to put one foot in front of the other, sometime it means taking one step back, sometimes it means standing still and taking a breath. It's all worth it, dev. You're worth it.

((((( DEV )))))
0 Replies
 
Rockhead
 
  2  
Reply Wed 10 Sep, 2008 02:01 pm
@devriesj,
I'm here, too, Dev. I don't talk a lot, but I take up space, and keep the critters honest...
devriesj
 
  2  
Reply Wed 10 Sep, 2008 02:05 pm
@Rockhead,
Thanks you, guys. How can I possibly tell you what your words and just your mere presence means to me?! Oh, cr*p, I'm crying again! But, it's a 'good' cry.
JPB
 
  3  
Reply Wed 10 Sep, 2008 02:07 pm
@devriesj,
cool

The moose and squirrel will take up space while you go get your homework done Smile
annis
 
  2  
Reply Wed 10 Sep, 2008 02:32 pm
@JPB,
Hey Iz mean what I say We can do it girl x
Izzie
 
  2  
Reply Wed 10 Sep, 2008 02:44 pm
@annis,
Oh Tulip.... I know... I can see us doing it... we've both got a focus forward now... and heck - we can do it. The Brits in Business. Maybe.... just maybe we could pull this off. Huge risk... massive... "risk nothing, risk all". Will await your email link. Wink
Izzie
 
  1  
Reply Wed 10 Sep, 2008 02:48 pm
@JPB,
Oh Ima here too..... Dev - know the "losing me" feeling...

but strangely - something will happen and "me" returns and kicks the ass of misery-me.

It's hard right now - but there is always something that makes me step sideways - then I get a new direction. Heck - it's all over the place - but as long as it's not backwards - then that's OK.

You'll find your way too... and we'll be here for when you need to sound it out. Really - not going to leave you - do talk when you're ready - if you need to - don't apologise for feeling the way you do.

You're a good gal Dev - believe it. Step by step. One at a time. xx
0 Replies
 
devriesj
 
  2  
Reply Wed 10 Sep, 2008 02:49 pm
@Izzie,
What are you two in cahoots about? A business venture? I'm on pins & needles. What gives? Curious minds want to know! Wink
Izzie
 
  2  
Reply Wed 10 Sep, 2008 03:00 pm
@devriesj,
mmmmmmmmm........ Enquiring Minds..... or perhaps "Healing Minds" mmmmmmmmm



could be we are off on the biggest risk of our lives here... Wink

if we don't try.... we'll try again.

Nothing ventured... nothing gained! Razz
 

Related Topics

Immortality and Doctor Volkov - Discussion by edgarblythe
Sleep Paralysis - Discussion by Nick Ashley
Surgery--Again - Discussion by Roberta
PTSD, is it caused by a blow to the head? - Question by Rickoshay75
THE GIRL IS ILL - Discussion by Setanta
 
Copyright © 2021 MadLab, LLC :: Terms of Service :: Privacy Policy :: Page generated in 0.05 seconds on 04/21/2021 at 10:26:34