On the edge and toppling off....

Comes in waves ? mmmmmmm....just gotta go with the peaks and troughs hun and muster up some energy from others when you feel like you're sinking... you're doing great posting and understanding when you feel the way you are, you are dealing with the anxieties in the only way you can. That's the right way. It's your way.

Strangely enough, we do wake up the next day and sometimes you find the key.... when you get to unlocking the door you unlock the anxieties and see the blue skies ahead... sometimes tho, the key gets stuck or lost so it all stays locked up for a little longer...then the door bell rings, the phone rings, the car needs filling with gas, the cooker is pinging to get the food out, the kids are yelling out, the dog poops, school work to be done and the hubby doesn't know which way to turn, to top it all - fireworks....... and birthday screams......so it feels as tho you can't escape.....



and breathe.....



and then you will see the blue skies ahead....just thru the keyhole, little bit of light coming from somewhere, and you will get there Dev... really, you will girlie.... no rush...

keep climbing up.... there's some of us at the bottom of the rungs holding it steady.... and others reaching out from above with a hand up....

Ah, dear friend, Iz- you know only too well, don't you?!

RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW
RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW
RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW
RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW
RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW
RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW
RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW RAW
..... and.... just a tad raw!!!!!!

k.....


deafening silence..... it's so darn loud!!!!!

I'm going for a walk.

(((IZZIEE))) Wish it could be a real one, my friend.

Izzie, I should take you to an Murrican football game.

All that rah rah, you'll fit right in, girlie...

Hugs.

Bruhahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.....I need to SHOUT!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH


OH.... that felt soooooooooooooooooooo good!

Dufus dufus and dufus....BigBoy.....Parents....


Bruhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha


I'm having a million conversations in my head....and none of them will let me rest.

I have a hospital appointment tomorrow - PAH

I work on Tuesday, Wed and Friday - pah pah pah

BigBoy is 16 on Friday - ...........................

He's been shouting too.

My divorce papers arrived yesterday - pah

I have a sore throat - pah

My joints are bad - cr*p pah

The dog is snoring


I LOVE MY CAR!

Pix???

Thank God for the car.
((IZZIE))

(((((Izzie))))) One thing at the time and things will be alright.

I can understand your need to shout, Izzie. Too much, that's far too much to contend with at one time. (Must make you consider running away from home! )

Good luck. (And don't try to deal with everything at once. What a thought! )

I got the date of the hospital appointment wrong... I must have imagined it, or even wished it to be today. It's no until the 29th. How the heck did I do that? DOH DOH DOH.

So...

there's only thing for it...

I am going to work!

Aw, you poor old sausage, Izzie. Too much to consider, too much to worry about .... that's how these things happen. But you know that already, I'm sure. We are not machines that keep working perfectly, no matter what....

I hope it is a good day hun. Work...ptooey.

ah, sh!t...


Hugs!

such a good word. It suits some situations so well.

(mornin' JPB)

I'm "thirdin'" that sentiment! Feeling a bit of it myself... things to do, anxiety & *memories (oy!) to put aside and just try to live life & get stuff done!
Hi Iz-, JPB, mis-...!

*New ones! Ugh! They keep throwing themselves up at me - it's as if my psyche is literally puking the stuff! (sorry) Feel there's a lot of mental housecleaning to do in order to get me ready for this career, but it sure is frickin' painful & a bl**dy nuisance, and so I say sh*t as well!

Oh Dev...I am so sorry - I have heard that one can sometimes unlock many. Just think though...you are going to have so much accomplished...I know you are having to wade through a lot of garbage right now...You are strong though...that is evident.

The word "****" truly does hold a wealth of meaning. It is ugly though isn't it? Sounds ugly even. But suits ugly situations perfectly.

I need to go get something done...I am typing too much today. Whenever that happens I generally tend to put my foot in my mouth...somewhere on A2K

if you see it there somewhere on the threads...just excuse me will you?
thanks.

Big Hugs to dev.

Trying to my head above water here myself.

Off to see if I can find where missy is sticking her foot in it...

throwing the virtual life ring JPB...

That foot is always pretty close....an inch away...sometimes I get to delete upon quick reflection. These are on my wiser days.

Ah, mis-, thank you so much for the encouragement! It was like a breath of fresh air for me!
And I'm throwin' ya a life ring too, JPB, no sense in all of us bein' in this at the same time ... or maybe there is ... at least there's the company of someone to swim through it with! But I really hope you're doin' ok, J. Oh and thanks for the hugs. (((hug bacck)))