Lake Michigan is a bit wider than my actual reach but I'm stretching hands across the water, dev.
Thanks, JP. That and my glass of merlot here make me feel loads better!
Thanks everyone for helping me get where I am today - be seeing y'all soon.
Lovin' y'all
xxxx
I'm not one of the good folk who have helped you, Izzie. Frankly, I couldn't come up with any positive ideas at all.
But I've been reading along these past few days. And I can't tell you how much I admire your strength & your compassion. You, my dear, are a very good woman!
So go & have a great time now. You absolutely deserve it!
Hey, all. Checkin' in. To whom it may concern ... It's not been my best day. I think, by what I can figure I'm dealing with some post traumatic stress. (Been there done that before, just weird to be seemingly doing it again.)
How do I start? I don't know what you all know about me. I've never really been one to be an open book about all my 'stuff'. But, at Iz's bidding and some prodding, I'm letting you know I need some support and a shoulder or two, and any advice, good thoughts, prayers etc. you can come up with will be good too.
My little story here in a nutshell is that I grew up in an abusive home. I could say plenty more, but right now that's at the core of my 'dysfuncion-palooza' here! Man, this is weird for me! Anyway, I think I've mentioned that a couple of days ago, I recovered a pretty bad memory that had been hiding for quite a long time. This here, I guess, would be the aftermath, and dealing with it. Picking up the pieces, fitting them back where they belong and going onward & upward.
Another thing you may or may not know is that I am and have been a counselor. Might seem weird considering what I've told you, but it's true. Anyway, I'm not reading back over this so I'm just gonna see what comes of this. Feeling really weird.
Hope Iz- is having a great time. She really deserves it!
Hang in there, Dev.
Izz should be on the ground soon in Big D...
Rock
I'm hangin'. Thanks, Rock.
Hey dev.
I imagine you're facing all sorts of roller coaster emotions. I think I recall you mentioning on the ship about having some counseling sessions of your own -- sessions for you, not you as the counselor. Is that right? Is that an ongoing thing, or was it just that one time a few weeks ago?
I know you're going through a bunch of other stuff with your husband's work, etc. That has to be piling on to your thought process as well. If you aren't already talking regularly with a therapist, is that something that's possible? I'm sure there are folks who have experience in different arenas. It would seem that there should be folks who are familiar with helping you process the types of memories you're facing.
Big Hugs from me, dev.
Feel free to write out as much or as little that you're comfortable letting go. We can listen, sympathize, perhaps empathize, hold your hands, and give hugs. You already know that we aren't professionals but we can be here for you as a sounding board while you work through what is obviously some deeply traumatic memories.
Sorry to see you hurting so.
(((((( dev ))))))
Yes, I still see a therapist. The counseling process is actually part of my course, a little ironic, huh? That's ok. Things will get better, I know. This is just a really weird spot for me to be. I appreciate your positive feedback. It really means a lot, and especially the hugs!
I have school tonight so I may not be back on once I go. Then again, I just might. Who knows!
Yeah, the work thing with hubby's not real fun either. It's a really bad time not to have all my wits about me, but I guess that just can't be helped. I feel bad for my fam when I'm not running on all cylinders tho.
Thanks for being my sounding board!
Dev, it seems to me that it'd be weird for anyone reliving past familial abuse. From what I am reading here, you seem to be handling it pretty well. I guess you could chalk that up to having gone through a similar experience before and having training as a counselor.
Anyway. post away, thinking 'aloud' on this forum has helped many of us through various tough times. There's always someone kind listening - somewhere in the world.
Thanks, k. That's encouraging! And it makes me feel a little less 'crazy', really.
Tonight I had class (masters in counseling for those of you who don't know.) It was good to be out & about. I'd kinda been staying in the last couple of days. Maybe not the best thing, but it's hard to feel like getting out when you get slammed like that.
Talked to my counselor for a bit too. Got my usual appointment on Tues. Should be able to flesh things out then. I'm anxious to get through the memory and start the healing process!
Thanks for listening and for the encouragement. It means so much.
(Wishing you well from here too.)
Well, now you can deal.
I don't know that I go for any massive dwelling on the hard times, but I do agree with staring at them and moving along.
I gather opinions vary on the amount of dwelling, and my own instinct is not for a long wallow. I get it that some serious people likely disagree. I can understand being energized by looking at it full on and moving on with the new understanding of how that affected you, and that you are not defined by it.
Here, here. I am in hearty agreement with that. I think this is the last big 'bugaboo' I have to deal with in all my "glorious" past. So, here's to cleaning out that closet and movin' on!
Need to try to catch some zz's here. It's going on midnight. Hopefully I get some good ones.
Hi Dev, so sorry to hear of your past and your present traumas, for what it is worth I'm offering my shoulder, although I feel the very helpful ladies around here are much more qualified to help you than yours truly. Thinking of you and sending you vibes and well meant hugs, hang in there, you'll get over it. Your friend from downunder.
Hey QueenDev - hunni - you got some tough times ahead and sifting and shifting memories - painful and destructive ones especially is gonna be hard to do - however, you are just starting out - try not to "try to remember" because that can possibly distort the natural memory process - you can't hurry this babe - really - in your own time and as it comes to you. Talk..... keep putting it out and know that whatever you say - all of us care - and we'll just listen and if you want us to, we can try and help find a way to deal - but that has to mostly come from within you.
Knowing there are hands around the world holding yours is a blessing - and we don't go away, or judge, or think it's not real - we're here for you coz we want to be....
so yip yap yop hun - whenever you're ready and wish to...
and start the healing process when you feel ready.......it suddenly finds you and you may not realise it..... but you are already beginning to heal Dev.
MSOLGA - whaddya mean - you aren't one of the good guys - OF COURSE YOU ARE - everyone on this thread is a good guy - and just knowing, as you were on here from the start - or even if you hadn't interacted - that you were aware - made you a good guy on any intereactions here or anywhere.
That's the things with A2K - and "the family" - it doesn't need to be loud - silent hand holding offers strength - sometimes, there are no words... so - thanku for being here.
This virtual family is the very best. It's becoming my REAL family these days.
Oh, Dutch-, thanks for the shoulder. It means so very much to me!
And Ms. Iz-, you seem to know whereof you speak! I shouldn't be surprised, huh? You've been through the ringer yourself. It has been quite the process, true. This memory has been trying to surface for the last six months or more. So, like an ugly zit, (pardon the grossness!) it's ready to pop! It's just dealing with the way I feel about it that's uncomfortable. Makes me not so much fun to be around for my fam too. I'm feelin' kinda wasted & I'm not functioning on all cylinders. That's frustrating for me, miss get up & go; get everything done and done well. Not so much right now.
Dev ........ With what you are dealing with, misfiring on a few cylinders is to be expected. The main thing is....you are dealing with it. You are facing it. And in your profession.....you know that's the first and most important step. There is no doubt in my mind that you have the strength to push through what it is that you are dealing with. My shoulder is here for you also. As well as my phone number if you'd like. Please let me know if there is anything I can do.
On a little lighter side........this is for you. Seems to fit the moment. :wink:
Love you, sister!
I'd LOVE to get yer number, but do you have yahoo? IM's cheaper! (and, unfortunately so am I)
Man, it is so good to see you. We must catch up!
And I am roflmao - thanks for the dust, man. I needed it more than you know! And I love you too!
