On the edge and toppling off....

You're making sense hun - the more you shake and loosen the cobwebs - the more you can decipher what's going on.

Talking... getting it out ... well, it doesn't matter if it doesn't look as tho it makes sense - keep spilling it out and you will see different shades of grey as you write...

and then we can try and help with the perspective - though you sound as tho you have figured out which way to go already - which is forward - it's just all those thoughts are tripping you up and making you wobbly.

Tell us whatever you feel you need to, or wish to - and we'll sit with you. x

The first thing I want to say is that I'm sorry what happened happened and that there's been horrid stuffed to be buried at all. Having said that, I'm glad that your memory of it is something that brings you hope moving forward. There is no doubt in my mind that you'll make a great therapist yourself. There's nothing like empathy to allow someone else to accept help from you.

Shake at will, dev. Something might rattle out or maybe you'll just give yourself a headache. Regardless, you do whatever it is you feel you need to do.

HUGS!!!

Thank you so much. You have no idea how much that means to me. Or do you? Right now I feel like I've said a whole lot and a whole lotta nuthin. Not sure where to go with it right now. Just feel a sense of calm having gotten to it. This may sound really strange but I feel a strange sort of comfort in "hitting the bottom of the pool". Like, I know where it is and there's only up to go. And it looks SO much more hopeful than it did even 24 hours ago!

Good grief, Iz-! You need to get sleep! Don't let me keep you up! I'll not be the ruiner of your night before the trip's rest!!

Thanks, JP! I just noticed your post. Right now I'm kind of going back and forth. I know it's a good thing, but I still feel bad on & off. Right now I'm nauseous & my head hurts. But I know this too shall pass!

Dev - tell yer what - whilst I'm on my travels - will you do something for me.....?


if you could look after this thread for me as I take a big step forward - and when I'm done adventurin' - then I'll bimble back on in - over the next 3-4 weeks and thereafter - you do all the talkin you feel you need to, share whatever you are comfortable with and I will visit here as IzzieOnErNonToppleGiantLeapForIzzieWorld...

and yep - I do know what it means when you are right at the bottom and suddenly, when you realise it's one way or the other - the only right decision is to climb on out and gather strength with all the hands who are willing to help you and hold on, when you reach out...

I know you're head is a tumble right now... it is the worst feeling because even tho you have all your family and friends telling you what's what and this that and the other - but you can't hear them - not until you can silence the sounds in your head - and no matter what anyone tells you - it doesn't make a difference..... it only makes a difference when you are ready to take that step and know you are ready - everyone can want to help and do all that.... but until you can accept the help, it matters not a jot what anyone may say to you.

for me - the best thing to do was talk... and as you know... I talk for England - once I started talking, after 2.5 months of silence and shutting down - 27 October 2007 to 01 Jan 2008 to be precise - once I started... it didn't stop and I still do it... and hey


look where I'm at now in my life......

the problems are all still there, things haven't changed dramatically - but I have...the way I handle things... and only because I started talking and these folk were listening...



take care of the thread hun and know that we're right beside you - just yip yap yop and you'll find someone sitting in the room with you. x

Thanks, Iz. I'll do that. I promise. Now you go (or is it come?) and have yourself a great trip and a grand adventure ... and get some sleep for gosh sakes!

and whoever is sitting here...

they do really care... they are here for one reason only - because they want to listen and watch when for when you step forward.

There are listeners who know that someday it'll be their turn to talk.


<nods>



Listening.

Thanks, Iz. You're the best. You too, Beth, Thanks. I'm talked out for now. But who knows, that'll change from minute to minute!

No Izzie, please, don't leave us with devriesj.

Alex - you are just........ WONDERFUL

you always bring a smile...

love you to pieces Great Lakes Fella!

A listener beaming good vibes to Iz and dev~~~~~~~~~

i feel so loved.

Bad Alex! I just snorted with a mouthful of tea. Come clean my keyboard, will ya?

Well good, dev, 'cuz you are!


[size=7]pay no attention to that man behind the current [/size] :wink:

Aaaaah - the twinkle in his eye and the chortle in his voice - the man of few words - and the biggest heart... with a tad of cheekiness. That's out gentleman deckhand AlexTheGravityChancerNoShirtPaddedEyeGardenerGaloreTeaspoonBreakerGarageClearerChoreMasterPizzaEater and all round good guy.

So wish we were meeting up Alex.

So.... I now sign over to Dev to keep the pages of thread turning if she would like to.... and even when on the adventure - will sit right beside you all the way QueenDev [takes of tiara, shines and replaces gently on the Queen's head...... love ya girlie]

Thanks all for helping me to get where I'm at.

Topplers and Handholders with big ears and soft shoulders - you are the very very best. Lovin y'all.

See ya in the USofA!






(I feel like I'm coming home!)

A good night song from the Dink

http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=xYbZIzkYRW8&feature=related

GO Bed...

Rock

Roger....

Over and out...

Thanku

Good lord, devries, too? I'll be reading up.....

Oh, my. Commence hand holding, please. Not feeling very queenly at all right now, just sad. I'm sure I'll get over it. It's the way it goes. It's going to be up and down for a while.
Had a lovely row with the fam on the state of untidyness in the house since Mama's been sorting things out. Bad, bad.