Oh Toppling Crew
On terra firma and still standing, just.
I am so tired - to a point of physically feeling sick and knowing I have to go and lie down.
Just back - a 3 hour meeting and 2 hours in the car!
THEY LISTENED. THEY ACTED.
Too long to go into right now and I can't because I don't feel well. However, your prayers and thoughts worked - and I thank you all.
R was brilliant - he handled it in his inimitable style of lounging on the sofa avoiding all eye contact unless troubled and making out he wasn't really there - well, there were 11 of us there - he got a bit lairy with his language at times- but didn't raise his voice and become really nasty - he spoke too - he was a little mean to my ex and I - but he heard what we said - he heard but didn't understand all that they said
Long and short - ex and I signed a piece of paper at our request to state we agreed he could spend 2 nites a week in the town at his friends houses during the summer holidays. He gets 3 full days in town - a bus pass is being sought out for him - he has to be back by 11pm - BY TAXI - which they will pay for when he arrives back at the House. They agree he needs to be with his peers. They agree he needs to be moved to the town. FINALLY THEY AGREED HE SHOULD NOT BE TREATED LIKE HE IS IN CARE, BUT THAT HE NEEDS TO BE SUPPORTED BY THE HOUSE AS A YOUNG ADULT. So - 5 days out of 7 for the next month he can be with his peers. Of course he will want it to be 7 out of 7 - if he absconds, then....he absconds. They will deal with it.
They gave a lot - I was not going to allow them not to give.
Now it's up to R to make the best of what they are offering. He may or may not do that - but that will be up to him. They conceded a lot of things and are now listening - I was not quiet. It was all very friendly.
R repeated that he was not happy. They also all realized that no matter what R is offered - he will not be happy. R said what a useless piece of sh!t he is and how he has no hope etc- he said it doesn't matter what anyone says - that is how he feels - that he is no good and all bad. We tried to reassure him - but you cannot praise R - you cannot do emotion with him - BUT EVERYONE TOLD HIM
.EVERYONE SAID HE WAS GOOD - no incidents occur when he is with his peers - the only incidents to occur are when he is in the "care" setting. It's also all about word association with R. We have to change the wording of being "in care" of "education"
. R admitted, a first, he is scared - he doesn't know about college or what to do or how to be in a job etc - THEY told him how incredibly well he does - he looks after himself in a flat, he handles himself in the town - not many 15 year olds could do what he does.
I don't know what will happen now - a lot depends on R - he's not the best at taking opportunities - but finally he has been given one that maybe he can work with.
Thank you all so much for holding my hand - together we were strong. Maybe.... maybe this will work for R.
Now I need to lie down. I very much need to sleep a little.
Hugs and tea, muffin...
Rock
It sounds encouraging. Thanks for the update, Izzie.
Laying down to rest sounds exactly right.
more Hugs!
Ya done good. ((((Iz-)))) You deserve the rest.
I shoulda pulled the phone out....
oh guys - I am so so wasted.... and now can't sleep.
I'm good in the head tho - I think - but I am on an all too familiar exhaustion level here.
This time in 2 days....I'll STILL be in a plane - 8 hours to Newark and 4 hours to Dallas - OH MY!!
Do take care Izzie...you need that rest. I am so worried you are overdoing. But I am so thrilled to hear about all that came to pass with R and I pray that he will appreciate it and come to understand his own responsibility in the whole process.
HUGS HUN...
missy
Hard earned, much well deserved, adventure coming up for you....or as my little nephew says ,venture.
If I don't thread with you Izzie, God bless, and have a wonderful time.
Take it slow. Slooooow.
(I'm not at all sure that Izzie does "slow"
)
A lot has been happening! Glad to hear that things went well at the meeting with the "eedjits". Your "planned" trip sounds like it will be mostly spontaneous but, hey, that can be fun. Have a great time!
Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa - this time tomorrow we will be at the airport!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh My
[size=7]admitting I am little bit nervous right now...got big 'ole butterflies going on and big swollen fingers.
[/size]
Take care Izzie, will be thinking of you whilst you travel, don't be nervous, you'll make it. Proud of you!
Ok friends. I'm just gonna jump in here and hijack Izzie's thread for a minute. I know there are those of you who have concerned about me as I've been "off" the last couple of weeks. <deep> Let's just suffice it to say that I have had a breakthrough of sorts. In the middle of last night I recovered a long-buried horrible memory. Hit rock bottom, I believe. Why do I tell you this? Because now I can build all the way back up to the top, baby. I feel strung out, but actually pretty darn good. I don't know if this makes sense to anyone, but I felt the need to put it out there.
Thanks for listenin'.
We have been worried...
Wanna keep talking QueenDev - listening....
(hugs and hugs and hugs and love..)
I'm glad you feel you could post about this, dev. We're here to listen as often as you feel like talking.
Hugs from me too!
Thank you, sweeetie. I was kinda hoping to just sneak it in there and get it off my chest! You've got packin' & adventurin' to do!
My brain is firing in all sorts of directions putting feelings and pieces together. So, it's kinda crazy-making inside my head right now. But I actually feel relieved. I feel like I can move onto the next phase of things tho. The 'spirituotherapy' I'm doing is going to make me ready to take on counseling with a vengeance, I think! OY! I'm just a yabberin' not making much sense here, am I?
Thanks, JP. Really, I didn't mean to take this thing over!
Hun - keep talking..... didn't you know - this is the gibberish thread....
talk... we're right here and adventurin' starts tomorrow - and still, I'll be here...
please do talk if you want to - it does help and the gibberish thread folk here.... well, you can't get much better...
right here hun!
Sitting here smiling. You guys are great, really! I just have so much junk mashed all in my head. I will tell you that an utterly not nice thing happened when I was a kid and I just now remembered it. Can you believe that?! I have been psychoanalyzed six ways to Sunday in my lifetime. Parents sending me, "the black sheep", out for help, to 'get fixed'. A lot of not so nice stuff has happened to me. And the way I am (extremely empathetic and a "feeling"-type person) has really readied me to take on my own practice eventually. I just feel like I can see the light at the end of the tunnel after this. Y'know? Does this make any sense?
Ooooh! I just feel like I want to shake my head out!!
