On the edge and toppling off....

No, you're not. You really are wonderful. I'm amazed at your strength in spite of everything.
Made sense to me too. Friends listen with the heart. It's easy to understand that way. I'm sorry it's all crap, honey. Thank you for sharing that bit with me. You didn't have to.
I'm thinking about Brooke too. I didn't know Noddy was in hospital so in her stead shall say ... hold your dominion.

Still here for ya, babe. Rest if you can.

OH I just wrote a real long post and lost it...or may have posted it on someone elses thread....DOH!

I took some photos for Noddy...

shows why I shouldnt do potions *tho have taken another pill now and need to lie down very soon before I fall down.

First photo shows the shakeroolies - so need a tripod





have absolutely no idea of what else i wrote.

House have spoken to the police - they are now going to see if they can find him - they think they know where he is.... I'm gonna have to lay down before I fall down - gotta go bed. He apparently appears to be fine... cold (only in a T-shirt and very hungry.) They will call me when he is back safe.

Sorry to br rambling...

sleep's on it's way

thanku for listening x

Nite.

Bummer about the post! Oh well, se la vie, huh?
Cool pics! Btw, what are 'shakeroolies'?
And you go get some sleep. Hopefully things will be sorted in the am. We're here for ya. Hope you can get some good Zz's. Will be thinking of you, Iz-. And don't worry about the rambling, ever. Will listen to whatever you have to say. That's a promise. I'm gonna leave you in the hands of your sleep potions and try to turn in myself.

R was returned to The House about half an hour ago. 9.30am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bless you Izzie, go and try to have some more sleep, I have a feeling you need it my friend. xox

I'm exhauseted. Think I will try laying again now - I can't stop the shakes....so will go lie down for a while. Thanks hun. Catch ya later. x

(((( Izzie ))))

R is attempting to hang himself.

The House didn't believe me when I said it. I told them to go look outside.

He has something tied around his neck and is trying to hang from the window.

They don't have back up.

Ther have a senior there and another person who does "non restraint"

R believes he should be dead. I am sitting here. I don't know what to do. I never know what to do. I'm telling them he is serious. He realises he has nowhere to go now. To R - he may as well be dead. So much for tomorrow.

Deep breaths, muffin.

he's serious this time

he's got nowhere left to go

he's not allowed at his Dads because he is violent towards his father and I just cannot cope with him at all...

he's not allowed back to my parents because of what happened yeterday - my father is 70 - he cannot deal with R and his outbursts, leave alone things getting broken or threatening behaviour to my dad

he won't come to me - number of reasons - main reasons - he knows how easily he can hurt me

there is no-one else left

his friend has gone for the week

he just wants to die

he didn't do it "loudly" - he did it quietly - I just happened to ring him as he was doing it. They didn't know.

He's been screaming down the phone at me for half an hour or so before - he won't talk to them so I let him "express" with me - he says we all hate him, that there is nothing left. He was serious this time.

I'm here too.


Did he call you and tell you he was going to hang himself?

sorry -- we cross posted.

Sitting and listening, hon

No I called as he was doing it.


They had disconnected his phone because he was abusing me down the phone. When I rang back they said they were disconnecting his phone. I asked them to reconnect it and let me talk to him - that I can end the phone call or not pick up - but them taking away the only person he will talk to was not going to achieve anything. I then phoned back. R picked up, crying on the windowledge with something round his throat.

I rang them back, told them to get back up in, they looked outside and saw him, and went up.

He has staff there who he doesnt know and who don't know him. Only one member of staff he does know. His other staff member has taken another child out. That should not be happening. Now they have back up there - 2 people R doesnt know and one there that he despises.

He is now in his room. On his own. They are downstairs. They said he is calm. The cannot stay in his room if he asks them to leave.

ARE THESE PEOPLE F*ING STUPID. HE IS CALM!

I can't do sh!t - I've just said that if anything happens to my son having got his "trusted team" (NOT) around him that not only will my son have to bear the consequences, but we all will. I cannot believe he doesn't have his staff members there.

He got taken back by the police last nite - they KNOW today will kick off when reality sets in - it has - and they have no-one there whom he trusts. It beggars belief.

keep talking.

is he back on the phone with you?

I have just spoken to the House. R has smashed the house phone so I can only call him on his mobile. Have done - he is.... sitting in front of the TV - despondent, not saying much - his only solution is to not go on. He can't see his friend whose on holiday - he's not permitted now to go out to see anyone else, he has no-one to talk to. He has no credit on his mobile. He is not allowed use of the laptop. He's basically in solitary confinement. Yep - I know, all his choices. No way out for him.

He hates me and his family. He hates himself. His anger is huge - but it's confined inside his head right now. I don't know what will happen later. It comes in waves.

Solitary confinement without a suicide watch through, right?

When is his other staff member due back?

Will R allow him to stay with him?

Can you put credit to his phone, muffin?

No - when he's like this he would only allow H (keyworker who left) or J (keyworker from previous house) to sit with him. D is now his keyworker - he likes and to a point trusts her - she is not working today...dunno when she is next working.

The other staff member is S - he went out with another child - this should NEVER happen - R has his own 7 staff - that's the whole point. But they sent S off with another child leaving him a guy there he doesnt know or who knows him. THe senior on duty is the new one!!!!!!!!!!!! He also doesn't know R - not well enough.

He wouldn't let S in now because in R's mind - he should have been with R - not that it would have made a difference - this was expected after yesterday. They just don't get it.

If I understand this correctly, R can prevent anyone from entering his room, they can prevent R from having outside contact other than through his cell which has run out of minutes, R is suicidal but because he asked them to leave his room they have no recourse in trying to prevent another attempt. Is that right?