On the edge and toppling off....

Dear Izzie, I echo mismi's feelings my friend, thinking of you and sending you heaps of vibes. Take care of yourself.

Dutchy xox

Thanku - I know I have a lot of blessings to count.... I just need to get them lined up in front of me at times and take a good look to realise it.

I'm worried about my BigBoy - can't help it.... just .... it's there always.

Pain... is just bl*ody annoying the heck out of me! Bad few days. It will get better.

Thanks all
x

Izzie

I am so sorry that you are going through all of this pain emotionally and physically. I will say a little prayer for you. Take care and know that I love you and hope everything will soon be much better. Anytime you need to vent I am here for you.

{{{{{{{{{{{{ Izzie }}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Sitting right beside you, hun.

Can I bring you some tea?

Hey Jodie and JPB

Thanku.

I've put another email into Social Services. I've just rung The House and R is refusing to get out of bed. Won't talk to anyone or have anything to do with anyone. Is totally unresponsive.

Just received email back saying "we are looking into this"!



Nothing I can do.... just wonder what's gonna happen next.


Feeling a little better myself tho - so, there's a positive a?

I am glad to hear you are feeling better hun. Thinking good thoughts for R. Praying they find a way to help him. One foot in front of the other.
Hugs
mis

Oh (((((((((((Izzie))))))))))))

Positive thoughts brewing for you and headed your way.

Hang in there girl.

(((((((((((((((Izzie))))))))))))))))

Thinking of you Ms. Iz.

Hey all

Thanku for your thoughts and wishes.

Well - I am completely frazzled beyond belief - and sore to boot.

Removals arrive tomorrow to take stuff to auction. Have 2 big offices desks, dresser and units to empty/sort/chuck before the morning - list all the items etc blah blah.

I am hopefully getting some help this afternoon. The computers/printers etc are all gonna have to sit on the floor somewhere - probably out in the empty annexe - but I can't lift them because my hands and shoulder wont work - leave alone walk with them. So - I'm hoping my PaPa will come out to do that.

Jeeeeeeeez it's crap without help when you can't move properly.

OK - whinge over - back to desk number 2!



Oh - plumber arriving thisavo sometime - boiler decided to play silly buggers last nite - he's a mate - hopefully he'll sort






This is all very weird and strange. Boxing up the past/present/future - and going it alone for the first time properly in my life. It's good - but it's scary. I'm excited - but tentative about what's in front of me. I'm tired - it doesn't help any.

Still we have not exchanged contracts - but the solicitors have confirmed again we should be moving on Wednesday - house being packed up a week today. Weird. Weird. Weird.

Reality is smacking me in the face - so now I am am dealing with it - looking forward to the future - it's gonna be great.

I'll finally be FREE

Yes, my friend.......YOU ARE FREE!

And that reminds me of a song that I hold really dear to my heart. I think it fits you, too.

I'm Moving On

You GO girl! Sometimes we have to stand up and wash off the past. Seek out a vision of where we want to be. And go forward and make it happen. Nothing can stand in our way....but ourselves.

((((( Izzie)))))

Proud of you.......and love you!
xoxox

I can't stand moving. Just that, in a vacuum. So to have to move, a) alone, b) with various physical ailments, c) while stressful stuff is happening with your son.... that sounds super-incredibly sucky.

Good news is, from my experience anyway, you're in the worst part of the moving phase... much more fun when you're IN the new place and get to start building rather than taking apart.

Take care...

BigBoy R is cutting himself today... they've tried to remove all the glass - meltdown occuring...

I'm at a loss...

{{{{{{{{ Izzie }}}}}}}}}

pulling up a chair.

here

Well dang.

Here too.

Ohhhh.... dear..

Just online .... sorry ... have been up to my eyes in it.

BigBoy - R - is not doing so good. He has calmed down - everything has been destroyed in his flat and he's cut his arms up. Superficial again - just a lot of the red suff. He will look like a waffle.

I have had umpteen phonecalls throughout the day from the girl who is caring for him today. One of things R told me before he started cutting and trashing - was there was a new carer starting tomorrow - who would be caring for R on his own - someone who R had never met.

So..... I let rip. Not in a nasty way - just a very forceful way. The girl who R is actually quite fond of, though not recently, said that she was really concerned about what had happened today etc...(in other words.... "please can you start shouting at someone because they don't listen to us on the ground" - so I took my cue, and said "management now - it's not acceptable....etc." If R has done this, to the level he has gone today - to send someone in who had never met R or knew anything of the situation.... what the heck was gonna happen tomorrow.

NOW - M (his carer who has been moved - the team leader) is coming in tomorrow with the new carer.... funny old thing that a?

WHY WOULD THEY EVEN THINK OF ALLOWING SOMEONE IN ON THEIR OWN WITH R, HAVING NEVER MET HIM, KNOWING LAST WEEK AND TODAY THAT R HAS THREATENED HIS LIFE AGAIN.

I DON'T GET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

R has calmed down - the girl who has been working for R for months now - has never seen him like he was today. Last time I heard that, R ended up in hospital and with 3 staff injured. MMMMMmmmmm - and a new guy starts tomorrow. Make any sense - nah!

As for the house front.... well, I just don't know how I am gonna do this - but, I will. I think.

Am not feeling too bad in my head - frustrated as heck - not knowing what is going to happen tonite with R when the girl goes "off duty" in an hour or how tomorrow is going to turn out.

Tomorrow will come... just dunno in which form it's gonna come. The house doesn't matter too much - heck - still haven't exchanged yet - supposed to leave in 6 days - this time next week - New Chez Izzie.

Weird again..... circle keeps spinning - juggling act is crap with sore hands.

Oh - all that sound's negative - it's not so bad - R is OK this minute - the house will get done - has to - so...... back to my lists and packing.

Little fella fed and in bed - NEXT....

Ah, Izzie....

All is quiet with R - tomorrow is another day.