Re: Thank you for your input.
jake123 wrote:1) I don't recall asking for any sympathy from anyone.
2) I am ashamed of myself for this. But I don't feel guilty for the love I have for the "other woman"
3) You are correct. I do fully understand what this will do to my wife and I am considering it anyway. Divorce, if not imminent, is highly possible.
4) There hasn't been any honesty in my marriage on my part from the beginning.
5) The only thing that "fell into my lap" was the intense emotional reaction I had from seeing my old friend after all this time.
And actually I did see her that night at the suggestion of my wife. She knows we were still friendly over the years.
Baddog, I respect what you are saying. And it is true: I am certainly messing up my life. I'm messing up life for the woman I married. No one likes to believe they are a bad person. I certainly don't like it, but I guess that is what I am.
I said before, I am not here to argue and I will probably not post on this issue anymore. I know what kind of person this makes me. In retrospect, I take back the comment about not being self-centered because this is self-centered. So be it.
Maybe I should be called baddog. Oh well, I used to have a dog named Jake.
I am not here to argue either and despite what TTH eludes - I did not say or infer that you're a bad person. However you are clearly doing hurtful things to others for your own perceived gain - as you claim to realize. The truth is that you and those being affected by your actions are in my thoughts & prayers.
To others on here: Do not look for me to sugar-coat anything that involves infidelity - especially when kids are involved! If that offends you - do not read my posts. Like I said earlier - adultery (and all of the collateral damage involved) is one of the worst actions that a person can do to others. Coddling is too often looked at as condoning by the offender. Offenders in these cases
usually have a (hopefully temporary) warped sense of reality and any action that appears to be neutral by an outsider is considered to be supportive by the affairees.
If you want to know more about it - take a look at this site:
www.marriagebuilders.com. Go to the forums and read a little on 'General Questions II'. Other very good info is here:
http://www.familydynamics.net/Intervention.htm#understanding. Read the section titled: 'Understanding The Process of Self-Delusion'
Perhaps reading this bit of info will offer some insight that you had not considered.
