Pacco

I've taken a respite tonight, reading about Taguba in the New Yorker, what an issue, oh, never mind, then getting up and ...

checking in, I read the supportive posts. Oh, man, I really appreciate them. Can you guess how many times I've cried re this thread?

I'm aware of the potential for having the most saccharinic chum thread going, but --

not sure how it works for others, but comments have helped me, they are stabilizing. Not to be too too dramatic, but in the beginning, I wondered about breathing.

Thank you, everyone who has commented.

I wish I could be there with you. I wouldn't interrupt your reading. Just want to offer support when you look up.

Hi, Robbie. I seem to myself to be slightly calming down. Don't trust me on this.

Thanks, Diane. That was wonderful. We should all be able to die as did Pacco.

I do trust you on this. Right now this minute, that's how you feel. Who knows about tomorrow?

You're probably getting past the immediacy of the death. Now comes dealing with the absence. Longer, slower, but less spike to it.

And you're exhausted.

Right on the button, Roberta, right on the button.

(((((((((Osso)))))))))))

The deeper the love, the harder the grieving and Pacco earned deep, deep love.

Thanks JLN. All he knew was love.

We should all be so lucky.

You are a wonder, Diane. I'm so glad Osso has you nearby now.

oh, Osso, I just got back to the computer after a week's vacation.....

I'm so sorry for your Pacco loss.

Words fail me but my thoughts are with you.

Thank you, Caribou...

Good morning (almost midday), osso.

How are you today?

(Just letting you know I'm thinking of you.)

Hey, Girl....




Ah, I believe it now.
The sounds are never from him.

The sounds, osso?

Well, the refrigerator, the neighbor, the ceiling fans... every so often I hear a small thuddy sound that could be a dog grunt.




I'm doing the distraction maneuver... just going to watch the Taviani Brothers' Night of the Shooting Stars, set in San Miniato in Tuscany in 1944...

Ah. I see what you mean.

A good distraction maneuver! I enjoyed that film. Years & years & years ago. Enjoy.

Oh, Osso, I'm so sorry. I was on a trip for a couple of weeks and I've been scared to check this thread since I got back-- I suddenly thought of you and Pacco one day while I was away, and I had a feeling that you'd had to say goodbye.

I so wish I could have met him-- I always sort of assumed I would, for some reason. He looked like such a huggable, personable fellow.

I know what you mean about the quiet in the house. That part is so hard. I stayed at my mom's house for a while on that trip, and it still seems empty without the kitties, who've been gone for years. It is nice when you have dreams about them, though-- sometimes I dream about my good old Stubby night after night, and I wake up able to picture her so perfectly; that feels like a gift. You'll have your nice visits with Pacco that way, later...I'm sorry to kind of ramble-- I'm just so sad for you. I'm crying and I'm just sort of typing what comes to mind as I sit here thinking of you and your dear Pacco, and of how we have to say goodbye to our good friends. I really do wish I could keep you company in real life, but my thoughts are with you at least.

I'm so glad to know that Dys and Diane are near you.

Hi, Cypher and Msolga. Yes, I still liked the movie, must've last seen it in the early eighties.

Cypher, thank you for the thought when you were on your trip. Great minds, y'know....
Thank you for the tears. I have stopped being the local water fountain, but still burst out with it at odd times, gathering up stones from my parkway this evening, for example (long story, I've always hated them, too damned big to walk on, am giving them to a neighbor who actually likes them). Short passages of tears.

Really, mourning is a kind of music.
I know, have experienced, mourning as larger, more complex, with humans I've loved.

Know what you mean, osso, about those other-room sounds. I still occasionally hear something that makes me sit up and take notice for a second.

Wonderful movie to escape to. Absolutely wonderful.

Still with ya, kid.