Dear Diary

Rae,

Glad you made use of the Dear Diary...reading your posting, I could feel the tension...I don't know how helpful we can be, but you sure are encouraged to put your thoughts and emotions in words...

Take care,
Maple

Thanks Mapleleaf.

Hi, Maple

It seems to be getting much drier!

We're in drought most of the time, and when we get rain, it's very localised - and doesn't fall much west of Sydney, in the water catchment area. This is the driest continent - but it appears to be getting even drier all over. Australia is roughly the same size as mainland USA - imagine a thin strip along your east coast getting rain, and little else across the continent - that's how it is here.

The tropics, across the top of the continent, get cyclones - a couple of bad ones this year - and much later than usual. The wet season carried on into May - when it's usually starting to dry by March. But the wet didn't extend beyond the tropics.

A beautiful typical Sydney winter day, though, for the last day of our long weekend - brilliant blue skies, no breeze, no clouds - just a little nip in the air - temps around 50 - 60F

Good grief ! We've had 2 heavy thunderstorms in the past 3 days, one of which burned up my modem ( I forgot to
plug it into one of the safe sockets. This weather does terrible things to my body. my poor rheumatoid arthritis just gives in, I get extremely exhausted and I can sleep practically all day long, get back to bed at about midnight - sleep till 6 or 7 AM, up a few hours, then back to bed sleeping till noon or 2-3 PM, and once in awhile go to bed for my noonish nap & not wake until 7-8 PM! This is always upsetting. HOW can I be so tired when I can barely do much of any physical work all day long?

Although for Florida, I must admit we've had a very lengthy and quite pleasant spring season. It remained "spring- like" all the way to the first weekend of May. NOW.... the feeling of opening a furnace door hits you in the face the very moment you open a door.

Amen to that, babs! This winter was the shortest one I can remember in my 28 years here. I've had my A/C up and running since March. And now that I wear glasses, they are forever fogging up! So annoying!

Dear Diary,

Finally got to speak with the little traveler. The child got the nerve up to tell her Dad and stepmom everything she shared with me before she left. Mom is a complete hothead and the arguments soon to come are going to be ugly. Either that or she'll be relieved to have one less child to worry about. Sad to say, but true. At least the kid is in a safe place and doesn't even have to come back here if it comes to that.

If anyone is listening, please say a prayer for the kid. She deserves so much more ~ another shot at a happy childhood. Thanks.

Rae, I don't know the whole story,
but I'd be happy to add this child to my prayers.
I hope everything works out for her.

Thank you, Kehoe, so very much. The whole story is a mess that involves two innocent kids. After coming to me, the oldest one made the decision to tell her Dad (who only has visitation) how miserable she was. 'Miserable' doesn't even quite make the cut. The kid is manic depressive ~ she's only ten. The little one is only four and a half ~ he'll be on the same path as his sister if something isn't done.

Thanks again ~ your prayers are greatly appreciated.

Kehoe, Thanks for dropping by...have we meet?

Dear Diary,
We are planning a trip to Snow Mountain Ranch near Denver. Relatives work there...we will have a free cabin...neat! Trip to Rocky Mountain National Park and such. They tell me we have to drink more water and adjust to elevation...Okey, Dokey.

We just spent most of the week with 4 1/2 year-old grandson...from the time he wakes up, he never stops until he is back in bed in the evening...Thank goodness, he is being to understand that Granma and Granpa have to have slow down times.

Mapleleaf

Dear Diary,

Was supposed to visit Mom in her new digs tonight and got sidetracked because the department of children and families visited my home. An investigation is in progress.

Somehow ~ and I am WAY angry about it ~ big sister up north is being blamed for DCF showing up. I think father knows something more because if he's as 'bothered' as mom about them being here, then he has no business being a parent either. To assume right off the bat your kid is lying about something serious is irresponsible.

The kid is 'moody', 'unappreciative', 'lazy', 'a bitch', 'has to be told to brush her teeth and hair'.....That just about sums up 75% of all pre-teenage girls. This child must truly be unique to have such horrid qualities.

Pissed, pissed, pissed off. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

*prayers for Rae and her young friends*




Dear Diary,

Things are SO MUCH BETTER in MaryWorld!

I am feeling healthier every day, and eating more and more normally too! I haven't had a bad migraine since April. And the yeast symptoms are pretty much gone. And I have ENERGY! YIPPEE!!!

When my hormones catch up with the rest of my body, I will consider myself truly All Better!


Newsflash:

I turned down a contract for next year at the school where I've worked the last two years, and I feel GREAT about that. I'll be working for them as a contractor instead (entirely my idea.) I'll stay at the school as a sub, an afternoon baking instructor, and a math tutor, all on an hourly basis. And I'll babysit kids I've met through the school. I've already started with two families, and I'll start with two other families later this summer. I will have the freedom to work with other schools too, if I choose to.

And I'll be launching my own business!

I've wanted to do this for years, but never felt ready/qualified/safe enough to take the risk. But now is the time! I've been doing this in the school for two years, and randomly for longer. I've got the training in teaching, baking, cooking, first aid, and entertainment to do this. It's what I SHOULD be doing. And so I am!

I'll be taking my baking equipment, ingredients, and know-how to kids' houses to teach classes and parties. And it will be awesome!

(If you know anyone in the Boston area who needs a fun, creative, unique theme for a birthday party, throw my name their way! I love working with toddler through middle school age groups, but especially preschool through third grade. I can customize for any allergy, any age group, and any taste.)

I'm very excited. Feeling hopeful and good about the present and future.

Yay!

(Oh, also, T and I are officially moving in together 7/1. Which is also hugely exciting.)

YAY!!!!!!!

Thanks, marycat.

(Best of luck on the new business ~ sounds like a winning endeavor!)

WOW! A happy, happy posting...see, dreams can come true...that is after you work and work and work...

Dear Diary,
Lately I've been feeling the need for a change in my life. It's not to say that I am unhappy, just that I am not as happy as I think I can and deserve to be. I just have the feeling of needing change. A few years ago I had the itch to move and it seems to be coming on strong again - although with no real destination in mind. I like the "idea" of certain places: NC, San Diego, Seattle, DC, Dan Francisco, Greece, Australia, New Zealand, Prague. Not sure why these places appeal to me, since I've only actualy visited DC.

A friend was telling me how she had told someone else that they should wait for a natural life change to occur instead of trying to hurry up and get to the next point. I feel like this could apply to me. I guess I feel a void and can actually feel the end of a phase of my life. I think I am just anxious to hurry up and get to something new, exciting, full of promise!

Thoughts and prayers to meridas. And to marycat, too!

Dear Diary,

Things are still going on with DCF. My big girl is coming home tomorrow from visiting with her Dad. DCF plans to interview her as soon as possible.

Her mom has been up north with her since this past Friday and I've been handed down lots more lies. Twice now, I've told her to just stop lying to me ~ just one person ~ me. How hard can it be?

The social worker involved called and I managed to bring up the subject of mom's drug test ~ she told me they pulled hair from her scalp and that she passed. Lie. The social worker told me they did a urinalysis and that she did not pass.

The legal department of DCF is waiting for the interview with my big girl to be completed before they make a decision. But, it has also recently come to light that mom has, indeed, used cocaine. I've no idea if that was found during the urinalysis. We'll find out soon enough.

Will keep ya'll posted.

meridas,
In my 20's, I was single and blessed with the ability to come across wise mentors. I took jobs doing what I loved. Made friends that I respected...amazed at the large number of solid good folks at every destination...not surprized by the crooks, liars and such, but not mad at the world. It was a wonder time.

part I

Dear Diary,

My young friends are gone. Each are now with their fathers ~ the youngest is not far from me and Dad says he is doing well. I hope to see him soon. The oldest, my star, is too far away, but I have spoken to her. She is happy to be with her Dad and step-Mom, and thankfully, they are being much more supportive this time around. A little bit too late? Perhaps. But, I'm hoping they'll all get through it and be well.

Everything came to a head when mom sent emails contemplating suicide. I took it seriously even though I knew deep down she was doing it for the drama ~ and I have since learned my instincts were correct.

As a Mom, I know how much pain she was in from having voluntarily giving up her kids. But through it all she was more concerned about herself than her children. And I don't feel sorry for her one bit.

I am way too angry to express what she's done to me personally. Let's just say that I'll probably be selling my computer, furniture and anything else I can sell to survive.

Those kids are in a safe place now. That's all I ever cared about.

Those kids.

I was watching Dr. Phil the other day and it was about pedophiles ~ but the main point I got from the show was that Child Protective Services would rather research one hundred suspicious incidents and get nowhere rather than research one specific incident and find truth in the accusations.

I'm so proud of Rae.

Rae, just to let you know how much of a ding-a-ling I am....today....I casually looked down and saw Cocoa, Florida...then it hit me...HEY...this is someone I know...now the weight of your words are banging me in the head...