I'm gonna speculate that yr career is probably a bit like mine - that is, creatively based & one which others cannot really help you find new jobs or develop new horizons. Whatever gigs you get are most likely self-generated & based on who you know more than what you know. That means the more time you spend working on his business, the longer you're out of your own world. Could this be problematic for you in the long run, in terms of missing out on valuable opportunities?
Perhaps he feels his business/career takes priority right now, b/c HE is earning the money, putting food on the table ..?
)Hmmm, would grant money go toward your career/ambitions or his??
As for getting out & getting some money - is there any kind of part time Christmas overflow work you could do just to get some ready cash? Finding a well paying jobbie this side of the new year is virtually impossible but there's often heaps of Christmas McJobs around this time of year. They're about for 4-5 wks, then gone. The trick would be to pick a company you quite like (Borders for eg) & not to take it seriously or it'll eat you alive. Waddyareckon?
...why is he sleep deprived? worried abt the relationship?
...any possibility that you can carve out a coffee shop (neutral) visit with each other (formal) to discuss your relationship?
...send me your resume and i will pass it around to everyone i know!
...wait for the weekend, so there are no sleep-related outbursts!
My husb doesnt understand my work but claims to be proud of it. Yet asks me nothing about it or my job search. I take this as a lack of interest.
b/c then there is no one tending to base camp - and the supplies dry up. No one is nourished, no one is supported.
Make sure that he doesn't stay up on his mountain for so long that it jeopardises your work & leaves you feeling taken for granted. Ask him to come down occassionally so that you can go up your own mountain.
)
...decide on a day, time and place / week, when and where we will agree to argue for 1 hour (only). all week, we are to write down the things that we want to air and find a way to get it all out in 1 hour. no more arguing for the rest of the week.
...if annoyance strikes, it is ok to acknowledge the anger and express that one is angry. but no discussion/dialogue can ensue.
...our day is wednesdays, at 7:30pm, at home.Quote:
Hey I'm loving this! ... but what happens if there is unfinished biz left to discuss? Does it get pushed into the following week or can you go over the hour limit?
If you HAVE to cut it off at the one hour mark, does this mean that the time-keeper is the one ultimately in charge of ending the dialogue and can close it down?
That represents a control/power thing. When it comes time to end the discussion I reckon you should both agree to end it - kind of like closing a contract. Not have just one person ending it while the other person still has stuff to say. Also, if it takes your husb a while to get his answers out (or vice versa) then you have to patiently wait for his answers, yes? And when the clock is ticking down, who has that kind of patience? lol
On ending the conversation thing, my husb used to "end" then by just walking away. I'd be half way thru saying something, or there'd be a pause in the convo, and he'd just leave the room. It drove me crazy. I refused to get up and follow him around the house like a freakin shrew. That's not my style. So. I told him how abrupt he was being & asked him to please stay in the room until we BOTH agreed that the conversation had ended. Then we could both move on from it knowing we'd gotten everything off our chests.
Are you familiar with the talking stick thing? Its a hoot and even tho it feels a bit silly, it really does work
-- jazzster
I hope the scheduled chat goes well! I appreciate it.) now, it's my turn to do something for him on my date night...which is..i don't know, i think friday. happy new year to you hon.