Quote:This question is not about lust and sex, it's about caring, loving and making love. It's about relationships
I again would say that if sexual love has not been very strong in a female, so strong as to be the strongest love that she has felt for a man, that's a bad sign, a sign that maybe she shouldn't have sex with that particular guy. Similarly, sexual pleasure is something a female should appreciate also--nothing wrong with a female loving herself in the sexual sphere as she should in other spheres. In the real land of flesh and blood, sex matters--realistically reproduction is what underlies courtship. Perhaps, Montana, you have entered nana-nana land and need to return to the land of flesh and blood, where love felt by a female is mostly sexual and where moral principles roam as big and loud as elephants. Indeed, it is morally suspect and not particularly caring to "care" for a female without committing to her. Caring to that particular female, perhaps, but not to the guy's future wife. Caring from males is sort of like sex from females, it gets diluted if spread too broadly. Your gain is another female's loss. Caring love if real from a male is not something likely to be had for a plurality of females. Not that oftentimes people don't do immoral things just from confusion, but still, caring from a male without commitment is morally suspect, basically for the same reason prostitution is suspect.
It's kind of weird, though. The simplest hypothesis is that the guy you mention carried you to nana-nana land. However, there's a general calmness and complacency about your posts, as though intellectually you are quite convinced nana-nana land is the place to be. The only thing I can think of that would cause that is excess aversion to the fears that the lust can create. I would argue, though, that those fears are there to protect you from the real dangers that exist in the carnal world. It's as though at some point you were terrified of your lusts, but now you surely don't seem to have as much recollection of the attractions of such lusts as intellectual fear of the fears caused by them. Young females are the ones who in fact experience these fears most strongly, so that would suggest that in fact you did have real love when you were young. And then someone tried to make you terrified of the understandable fears you possessed. One possibility is that the purpose of this was to make you ignore the fears, but that doesn't strike me as being plausible inasmuch as you don't seem screwed up (screwed-up females tend to value sex too much, rather the opposite of what your statements suggest). It's like for some reason someone was trying to steer you away from love, and because you naturally loved sex much (a good thing in a female), the only way he could do it was to make you intellectually terrified of the sort of fears that young love can create. I posit, therefore, the existence of another male you were really in love with when you were young, whom the male you mentioned tried to steer you away from.
Of course, all of this is rather wild speculation since I know scarcely anything about you, but then since you dared to agree with someone who says I have never loved anybody, perhaps that's what you want. At any rate, my advice (based on little evidence) would be to value your sexual desires more (perhaps your very distant past sexual desires if you are old).
. Nobody has ever explained love as a whole, it is a person to person totally different matter.
