Age difference in relationship

Dupre
LOL, yes I'm now 39 and am left with a fond memory and a friend for life. I see what you're saying, but we both used protection and were very careful that I didn't end up a very young pregnant person. Thank you for your thoughts on the issue.

Often age differences become more critical as the older partner becomes elderly, and the younger one is still middle aged. I think that then unforseen problems emerge.

In my community, I can observe many couples where the men are in physical and/or mental decline, and the woman is still youngish and vital. When there are medical problems, the difficulties are even more severe.

After giving it much thought, I need to change my thoughts on the law because there are older men who prey on young girls and for this reason the law needs to be in place. This didn't happen in my case, but I know it happens to young girls and boys every day.

Thank you all for your thought out comments :-D

It really is about the two individuals involved. That is, when both are of legal age. (Sorry Montana but by now you must realize that your experience was the exception and not the rule) I personally feel that every woman needs an older person in their life when we're young and stepping out into the world for the first time. Same for men. An older lover can offer so much. Wisdom, maturity, experience. Mine was 17 years older and I learned a hell of alot from him. :wink:

Phoenix
I agree. I actually broke up with my boyfriend when I was 17 (he was 30) because I reached a point where I wanted to be with someone closer to my age who I could go to parties with, etc... Funny thing is that he knew all along that I was going to break up with him at some point.

Well, you couldn't stay indoors forever!

Eoe
I hear what you're saying and appreciate your thoughts. I learned so much from him, but the thing that really stuck with me is the gentle way he loved me. He taught me that love is not all about sex and I'll treasure that forever.

Yes, my sweetheart is 14 years older than me.

It does get complicated sometimes, but there's always a payoff, so, anyway, it works for us.

LOL! Yeah, but I was finally at an age where we didn't have to hide anymore, although he still wasn't comfortable going out.

That's great dupre. I'm so glad you have happiness.

Dupre:

Protection of the youth begins the day they are born. Not at age 15, it's way too late! I would imagine at 15, most of us had accomplished the deed ... with the possible exception of yourself since you seem so righteous.

I was on the school swim team, was an eagle scout, went to church, and only stole the family car once before I was 16. I was a good kid!

Just because you have sex at 15 does not doom you to a life of poverty! I'm doing quite well now thank you ... and I was having quite the affair with my girlfriend that was 6 months younger than I.

She never got pregnant, and we were monogomous. It was GREAT!!

Anon

Montana:

The law needs to be there to protect the young! When my second wife was 15, her 36 year old uncle took advantage of her ... it lasted a couple of years ... she didn't know how to say no to him.

At 13, my brother committed suicide ... my scoutmaster, who had become my substitute father (mine left at age 6), came over to console me ... without being graphic, it turned into molestation. It wasn't until I was 16 that I was able to tell my mother. The shame was mind numbing!

We need the law, but we need to be intelligent in how it's used!

Anon

As I'm reading this, I realize that age is only one factor, but it can be used as a marker. It starts out with sex, almost always, and many adults seem totally unaware that children come into this sexual world before an arbitrary age. They forget their own youths. I remember a hot and heavy romance with someone 14 years older than me, mostly on the sly. Strangely enough, it came to an end when he finally asked to marry me, and like a vision I could suddenly see that this would not end up good. We did not end up friends.

I had a friend who married young, and "well." He was a doctor, 15 years older than she, and the marriage, which was made in hell, produced 3 children. The divorce was bitter and long (she ran away). After several years, she met up with the guy she's now been married to for many years. He is 18 ears younger than she is.

So age comes into it, but so do all those experiences that make our lives. My son and daughter-in-law met when they were 15 - it was like a soap opera. He was a star basketball player, she was a cheerleader. Boom, that was it. I really don't know what all they did, but they married after college, worked, then had the first of their three sons. Today that marriage is so solid you can feel it when you come into the room.

They say your first real love stays with you forever. Mine didn't.

Anon, sorry I came across that way.

Truth be told, I ran away when I was 14, then kidnapped across state lines, victim of statutory rape, abortion, et cetera.

When I came home, I was able to remain celibate till after high school, my primary goal being to get an education and provide for myself so I would not have to remain in my parents' home.

I graduated a year early and went to college.

At that time, I do wish I'd had a kind, experienced man to introduce me to the pleasures of my body. I ended up married to a good provider, but a poor lover.

Divorced now and hesitant to remarry even after nine years with a wonderful man.

I do have a wonderful son, so because of that, it's hard to entirely regret my marriage.

Satisfied?

I'm so sorry to hear that you went through that. I did state earlier in the thread that I do understand why the law is there and I agree with it. If it weren't there it would be awful. Sometimes I write faster than I think. What I should have said is that the law should not be pressed if there is concent from the parent.

Your parents consented?

My parents didn't know about it at for months, but then I decided to sit them both down and tell them. They were not happy at the beginning, but I convinced them that going out with guys closer to my age would be no better since all the ones that were interested in me were only interested in sex. I explained to them that my relationship was based on love and that my botfriend had nothing but respect for me and they finally realized that I was right and learned to live with it. I was very rebelious at that age and before I started seeing my boyfriend my parents never knew where I was, so at least this way they knew where I was.

Dupre:

You owe me no explanations, and you certainly don't need to give an answer which satisfy's anyone, least of all me!

You were dealt a real **** hand, and I applaud you for being able to recover from it and progress like you have. You show a strength many of us can't summon. You're the one I'm talking about the law protecting. You ran away from home, and I'm sure you had your reasons. A girl on the streets at 14 has little control over what happens to her.

You're a brave lady, and I salute you!!

Anon

Montana:

This is a great Topic, andI'm loving all the true confessions ... I'm writing them all down for my magazine article! Just kidding

I guess it's time for me to "fess up" ...

I was 30, and she was 46 ... She was put together very well, and wasn't really showing her age too much. She was really a wierd ducky, but I really liked her. (Tells you about me, huh?) All my friends made fun of me about robbing the retirement center, and ultimately I wasn't mature enough to stick it out. I still think about her once in a while. She was a sweety!!

Anon

Anon
This topic did turn out to be a good one. I never thought I'd get so many stories and am glad people had a place to come and vent a little.