What do you call the useless bit of skin on the end of a penis?
A couple, both age 78, went to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"
The man said, "Will you watch us have sex?"
The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.
When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have sex," and charged them $50.
This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have sex with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave.
Finally, the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?"
"We're not trying to find out anything," the husband replied.
"She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $90. The Hilton charges $108. We do it here for $50...and I get $43 back from Medicare.
Panzade? Where the heck have you been, young feller?
Awwww gee. Did you miss me?
I was thinking about the time I met you back in ‘04. Who’s house was that ?
That was Misti's. I think Rae lived there, too. Haven't heard from either for at least a decade.
Reminded of this oldie:
I used to drink absinthe, but it caused me bad indigestion and terrible wind, weirdly, it sounded like a Japanese motorbike.
I went to a doctor who told me it wasn't uncommon, that everybody knows "absinthe makes the fart go Honda".
Yep! You found the right forum for that one, alrighty.
omg. Go stand in a corner.
My friend bought a dog from a blacksmith.
As soon as he got it home it made a bolt for the door.
Our dog is called Carpenter because he does odd jobs around the house.
What if Edvard Munch's "The Scream" wasn't a man holding his hands over his ears but a dog with long, floppy ears?
That doesn’t work over here. Robins are associated with Winter, they appear on Christmas cards.
They’re here all round, but a lot of birds migrate south in the Winter but robins stay put.