183
   

Really bad jokes - don't be afraid to post yours here

 
 
hingehead
 
  7  
Reply Sat 14 Dec, 2019 03:52 pm
Joke of the Week from the Fitz Files

A 10-year-old girl asks her mum, "Mummy, how was I born?"

The Mum smiled and replied: "Once upon a time daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in and I took care of it every day. After a while the seed started to grow more and more leaves, and in a few months it turned into a beautiful healthy plant. So we took the plant, dried it, smoked it, and got so high that we made love without a condom!"
0 Replies
 
Region Philbis
 
  2  
Reply Sat 21 Dec, 2019 07:19 am

https://imgur.com/9fEe45h.jpg
0 Replies
 
coluber2001
 
  4  
Reply Sat 21 Dec, 2019 04:51 pm
https://pics.me.me/im-cold-and-hungry-i-see-humans-around-a-bonfire-42378159.png
0 Replies
 
Region Philbis
 
  4  
Reply Thu 26 Dec, 2019 06:37 am

https://imgur.com/JVczgSk.jpg
lmur
 
  2  
Reply Sat 4 Jan, 2020 07:16 am
@Region Philbis,
True story. Derek lives around the corner from me. One Christmas he invited me around for drinks. When I got there, it was very odd - the door was opened but there was no sign of him. I left myself in. All the downstairs lights were on and an open fire was blazing away. I called out a few times but got no response. I noticed some gifts under the Christmas tree and picked one up. 'To Derek - Merry Christmas' it said. Soft and squishy. Probably a sweater I thought. I picked up another which also said 'To Derek - Happy Christmas'. Square, hard; more than likely a book. A third gift was also square but thinner and smaller. Probably a CD.

Seeing as my host did not appear to be there for whatever reason, I returned home. 'That was quick, did you meet Derek?', my wife asked. 'No,' I replied, 'but I felt his presents.'
izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Sat 4 Jan, 2020 07:18 am
@lmur,
Was that inspired by the recent demise of Mr Acorah?
lmur
 
  1  
Reply Sat 4 Jan, 2020 07:31 am
@izzythepush,
Funny - I had never heard of him until this morning. Henning Wehn tweeted that he had died so I looked him up. Then someone else tweeted this joke. Have to admit - until your comment, had not made the connection - just liked the joke for itself.
izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Sat 4 Jan, 2020 07:34 am
@lmur,
I remember back in the day he had quite a following, you know the sort.

I'd only just read the news report prior to reading your joke.
lmur
 
  1  
Reply Sat 4 Jan, 2020 07:36 am
@izzythepush,
Maybe the f#cker had something....
izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Sat 4 Jan, 2020 08:09 am
@lmur,
I don't know if it was any good, but it was definitely something.
glitterbag
 
  1  
Reply Sat 4 Jan, 2020 04:11 pm
@lmur,
Grooooaaaannnnnnnn.
0 Replies
 
glitterbag
 
  1  
Reply Sat 4 Jan, 2020 04:20 pm
@izzythepush,
I looked him up as well, I'm not sure if he was well known over here, Americans love the 'other worldly' types. Still, it's sad he passed on, but I do love the joke.
izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Sun 5 Jan, 2020 04:43 am
@glitterbag,
I'd be amazed if he was even heard of over there, definitely home grown.
0 Replies
 
hingehead
 
  3  
Reply Wed 8 Jan, 2020 06:22 pm
https://i.pinimg.com/564x/c8/fd/4c/c8fd4cd4174bf4dc1c7e89f3337de3e9.jpg
0 Replies
 
hingehead
 
  3  
Reply Fri 10 Jan, 2020 05:36 am
https://i.pinimg.com/564x/de/56/2e/de562e6d982f66f322861f73efaae0b4.jpg
0 Replies
 
hingehead
 
  4  
Reply Fri 10 Jan, 2020 08:50 pm
https://i.pinimg.com/564x/e9/ed/20/e9ed202a56aa24a96a822df57944c961.jpg
0 Replies
 
hingehead
 
  3  
Reply Sun 12 Jan, 2020 12:57 am
https://i.pinimg.com/564x/a7/13/7d/a7137db5c21cd7809721c6428cf82daa.jpg
0 Replies
 
hingehead
 
  3  
Reply Sun 12 Jan, 2020 05:10 pm
https://i.pinimg.com/564x/60/12/9a/60129a2563cafa6a033937f7b65dcefc.jpg
0 Replies
 
hingehead
 
  4  
Reply Tue 14 Jan, 2020 03:56 pm
https://i.pinimg.com/564x/ff/f1/26/fff126b5dffa4b22712ecbda7c54f4c2.jpg
0 Replies
 
Region Philbis
 
  3  
Reply Wed 15 Jan, 2020 04:34 am

https://imgur.com/h9yPyHv.jpg
0 Replies
 
 

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