Really bad jokes - don't be afraid to post yours here

True story. Derek lives around the corner from me. One Christmas he invited me around for drinks. When I got there, it was very odd - the door was opened but there was no sign of him. I left myself in. All the downstairs lights were on and an open fire was blazing away. I called out a few times but got no response. I noticed some gifts under the Christmas tree and picked one up. 'To Derek - Merry Christmas' it said. Soft and squishy. Probably a sweater I thought. I picked up another which also said 'To Derek - Happy Christmas'. Square, hard; more than likely a book. A third gift was also square but thinner and smaller. Probably a CD.

Seeing as my host did not appear to be there for whatever reason, I returned home. 'That was quick, did you meet Derek?', my wife asked. 'No,' I replied, 'but I felt his presents.'

Was that inspired by the recent demise of Mr Acorah?

Funny - I had never heard of him until this morning. Henning Wehn tweeted that he had died so I looked him up. Then someone else tweeted this joke. Have to admit - until your comment, had not made the connection - just liked the joke for itself.

I remember back in the day he had quite a following, you know the sort.

I'd only just read the news report prior to reading your joke.

Maybe the f#cker had something....

I don't know if it was any good, but it was definitely something.

Grooooaaaannnnnnnn.

I looked him up as well, I'm not sure if he was well known over here, Americans love the 'other worldly' types. Still, it's sad he passed on, but I do love the joke.

I'd be amazed if he was even heard of over there, definitely home grown.