Really bad jokes - don't be afraid to post yours here

Things were "normal" in a mental institution until one day a group of insane patients asked to talk with the director.

-Our beloved master, we have noticed that after the addition of a new auditorium in our institution, there is some construction materials which we want to use to build a room for ourselves.

-Very well-, said the director, I will contact the hardware store to give tools.

The doctors were surprised by the decision of their director, but he explained them that this should be a great opportunity to study them as a group behavior and cooperation, and also to check if they are capable to do something productive.

The group of insane patients started their construction the very next day. Using mortar mix they started to lay brick over brick. They built a 12 foot tall wall 12 foot width the first day. The doctors were taking notes of their work.

Next day they built an adjacent wall the same high and the same 12 foot width. The third day they did the same. The fourth day they finished their square construction building and they were celebrating their work with music, BBQ, and more.

The director and the doctors laughed of the work made by the insane patients, because they forgot to put a door and windows.

That night, a great noise was heard from the inside of the square construction. The director was called in the middle of the night. When he arrived, he approached the square construction and heard the group of insane builders screaming.

-Thirteen!... Thirteen!... Thirteen!,,, Thirteen!... Thirteen!... Thirteen!...

The director was curious about what was going on inside the walls, and he saw a ladder drop on the floor. Very carefully and avoiding making any sound, the director put the ladder against the wall and slowly spied what was inside peering from behind the top bricks.

Suddenly by surprise a shoe hit his head and make him lose control and fell together with ladder to the floor. From inside the walls, the group of insane patients started to scream.

Fourteen!... Fourteen!... Fourteen!... Fourteen!... Fourteen!... Fourteen!...

A pigeon goes to see the vet because he's had trouble flying, and the vet says, 'Wings ain't what they used to be.'

I know a Dracula joke like that.

You had to go there???? What's wrong with you???

what's wrong with whom?

Jesus, I heard a version of that joke when I was 7 years old, and even then I knew it was stupid and offensive.

Just proves what we're dealing with here, huh?

What Ragman said. No idea what y'all are on about.

I sent a pm to you and Ragman, didn't feel like thing about it again, makes me want to say rash things.

That doesn't work over here, Robins don't migrate and tend to symbolise Christmas.


And it's far too early for batmans, we don't see them until June.

We saw them for a short time here, at least until they were knocked out by world cricketing powerhouse - Bangladesh.

Sorry, I couldn't help myself.















I'm not really sorry.

We've seen quite a lot of that particular batman - first in the Big Bash League - and then in "I'm an idiot celebrity...." and there has been a bit of batting around lately.

And then, in general, what Wilso said....

and yes....bad joke!

Sorry, I don't have a good or bad joke, but the robins arrived here in February. That's always a cheerful sight. The Canadian Geese are back, some of them stay here thru the fall. Yesterday, I saw one pair near a small pond, they are absolutely beautiful. Then again, I've always had a soft spot for birds.

So, a joke makes people becoming religious because they feel it's offensive...

What about the dangerous joke of sodomites exposing themselves participating in Saint Patrick's parade... a parade dedicated to a Catholic saint.... Jesus found it very offensive... a terrible, horrible, vey bad joke... (Jesus, like the Father, called homosexuals "dogs" as seen in Revelation 22:15... plus, the ones doing "abomination" -God Father stated very clearly that homosexuality is abomination- won't enter to the New Jerusalem plus will be burnt in the lake of fire... Revelation 21:27, 21:8. )

If God is offended by the behavior of homosexuals, no wonder they will be "banned" forever in His heavenly forums... Lol

Finding a good joke that is not offensive is a hard task. In other words, if you don't want to be offended very often, then stop completely listening and reading jokes.

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The director of a mental institution was the whole authority to which the insane patients were afraid to death.

One day, the director got sick and had to be absent for a day. The insane found out that the director wasn't in the premises and started a great fight between themselves. They used whatever they found to hurt each to another.

The case was so serious that the director was called immediately. When he arrived and showed himself to them, the insane patients stop their aggressive behavior.

There were dead bodies everywhere.

The director ordered them to pickup some shovels and dig a big and deep hole, and after that, he ordered them to deposit all the dead bodies inside the improvised new burial place.

He pointed to the dead bodies scattered on the floor.

-Do you see all those bodies? Well, all of them are dead because you! Now, pick up all those dead bodies and drop them in that hole!

The insane obeyed the director and started to move the corpses from one place to another.

Tens of bodies were already inside the hole, and the director told them to bury them by covering them with dirt. The insane started to do so. The director left and went to his office.

When the insane were covering the burial place with dirt, they heard a voice. It was one of the bodies inside the hole. It was an insane who was took as dead.

-Hey! Stop! Let me out of here! I'm not dead, help me to get out of here!

The other insane patients who still were dropping dirt over the bodies stop for a second to listen the claims of the survivor.

One of the insane replied.

-Oh yeah? Do you really think we are nuts? Listen, the director said that all of you are dead... so you are dead regardless of what you said to us..." and they continued dropping dirt over.

And that's 30 seconds of my life I won't get back.