@panzade,
panzade wrote:
When we elected Advo the arbiter of bad jokes I had no idea he would be so tough on us.
Remember that, when elected, I promised I would maintain the lowest possible standards.
a monster of our own creation
http://tapastic.com/episode/27487
I could just embed the image here but there's a song that goes with the image ... so it's just easier to go to the site to witness the ... joke.
@panzade,
Omelet you have a pass on this.
Joe(Two peanuts were walking down the street, one of them was assaulted.)Nation
@panzade,
Yes, we did, quite a few times actually.
Some of them are far to smelly (cacemphaton intended)..
@timur,
Apologies. I will recuse myself from this thread for a week
@panzade,
Don't! Some are worth repeating.
@timur,
They get worse with each repetition.
@panzade,
panzade wrote:
Did we do this already?
Will Advocate approve?
Digesting too many, they stop being punny.
Sometimes, when you cry, noone sees your tears,
Sometimes, when you're in pain, noone sees your hurt,
Sometimes, when you are worried, noone sees your stress,
Sometimes, when you're happy, noone sees your smile,
But try masturbating in the Coles car park just one time, and see how much ******* attention you get.
Can someone lend me bail money?
@Wilso,
Forecast for tonight: dark
@Wilso,
Hey Wilso. It's been ages.
When I was three my parents got a puppy.
I got jealous so they gave me away.
@panzade,
panzade wrote:
When I was three my parents got a puppy.
I got jealous so they gave me away.
That sounds a lot like Rodney Dangerfield.
@Lustig Andrei,
It is...i saw it on Facebook
If you can't find the book you're looking for you may be here.
Two men, Jim and John, were walking their dogs when they passed by a restaurant. “Let’s go in and get something to eat,” Jim suggested. “We can’t” responded John, “don’t you see the sign says NO PETS ALLOWED.”
“Aah that sign,” said Jim “don’t worry about it” and taking out a pair of sunglasses, he walked up to the door. As he tried walking into the restaurant he got stopped at the door, “sorry no pets allowed.” Can’t you see” said Jim “I am blind, this is my seeing eye dog.”
But it’s a doberman pincher, who uses a doberman pincher as a seeing eye dog?” the man asked “Oh,” Jim responded “you must have not heard, this is the latest type of seeing eye dog, they do a very good job.”
Seeing that it worked, John tried walking in with his Chihuahua. Even before he could open his mouth, the doorman said “don’t tell me that a Chihuahua is the latest type of seeing eye dog.”
Thinking quickly John responded in a angry voice “You mean they gave me a Chihuahua?”
Today's stock markets
Helium was up, feathers were down. Paper was stationery. Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading. Knives were up sharply. Cows steered into a bull market. Pencils lost a few points. Hiking equipment was trailing. Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline. Weights were up in heavy trading. Light switches were off. Mining equipment hit rock bottom. Diapers remain unchanged. Shipping lines stayed at an even keel. The market for raisins dried up. Fanta fizzled. Caterpillar stock inched up a bit. Sun peaked at midday. Balloon prices were inflated. And batteries exploded in an attempt to recharge the market...
