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Really bad jokes - don't be afraid to post yours here

NSFW Forums: Humor, Jokes, Bad Jokes, Camp, Humour
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hingehead
 
  5  
Reply Thu 16 Jan, 2014 02:57 pm
My wife asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were $70!!!

So I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Thu 16 Jan, 2014 02:58 pm
@hingehead,
That is very bad.
hingehead
 
  1  
Reply Thu 16 Jan, 2014 03:00 pm
@ossobuco,
Thank you
0 Replies
 
Lustig Andrei
 
  1  
Reply Thu 16 Jan, 2014 03:01 pm
@hingehead,
That's just awful, hinge.

Congratulations. And thank you.
0 Replies
 
Moment-in-Time
 
  2  
Reply Thu 16 Jan, 2014 03:07 pm
@Advocate,
Quote:
@blueveinedthrobber,
blueveinedthrobber wrote:

Lorena Bobbitt has been in an automobile accident....apparently some prick cut her off



Quote:

Advocate wrote:

Authorities found the penis in the yard in which Lorena tossed it. What I would like to know is how they knew it was her husband's.


LMFAO!!! Wow! Pray tell how many women make it a practice to castrate their husband's penis and go to that exact spot??!?!? Why on earth would there be any doubt the penis belonged to the castrated husband?!?
Lustig Andrei
 
  2  
Reply Thu 16 Jan, 2014 03:11 pm
@Moment-in-Time,
Moment-in-Time wrote:

Quote:
@blueveinedthrobber,
blueveinedthrobber wrote:

Lorena Bobbitt has been in an automobile accident....apparently some prick cut her off



Quote:

Advocate wrote:

Authorities found the penis in the yard in which Lorena tossed it. What I would like to know is how they knew it was her husband's.


LMFAO!!! Wow! Pray tell how many women make it a practice to castrate their husband's penis and go to that exact spot??!?!? Why on earth would there be any doubt the penis belonged to the castrated husband?!?


Oh, I don't know about that. There're a lot of pricks around these days.
DrewDad
 
  4  
Reply Thu 16 Jan, 2014 03:17 pm
@Lustig Andrei,
Now if she'd thrown it into a random BMW, the police would have been stumped. It's like hiding a needle in a stack of needles.
0 Replies
 
Frank Apisa
 
  4  
Reply Thu 16 Jan, 2014 03:24 pm
When I am being especially crotchety...Nancy always reminds me that her favorite historical character is...

...Lorena Bobbit!

Amazing how that shapes me up quickly.
Advocate
 
  0  
Reply Thu 16 Jan, 2014 04:03 pm
@Moment-in-Time,
Moment-in-Time wrote:

Quote:
@blueveinedthrobber,
blueveinedthrobber wrote:

Lorena Bobbitt has been in an automobile accident....apparently some prick cut her off



Quote:

Advocate wrote:

Authorities found the penis in the yard in which Lorena tossed it. What I would like to know is how they knew it was her husband's.


LMFAO!!! Wow! Pray tell how many women make it a practice to castrate their husband's penis and go to that exact spot??!?!? Why on earth would there be any doubt the penis belonged to the castrated husband?!?


OMG, another literalist. Don't you recognize the joke?
izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Thu 16 Jan, 2014 04:51 pm
@Advocate,
That's not the first time you've said something stupid then claimed it's a joke. Why not try saying something pithy for a change, then you won't have to claim it's a joke.
0 Replies
 
spendius
 
  0  
Reply Thu 16 Jan, 2014 05:50 pm
@Frank Apisa,
Quote:
When I am being especially crotchety...Nancy always reminds me that her favorite historical character is...

...Lorena Bobbit!

Amazing how that shapes me up quickly.


I would take off. The glue would have to be especially sticky to stop me.
0 Replies
 
Moment-in-Time
 
  1  
Reply Thu 16 Jan, 2014 06:00 pm
@Advocate,
Quote:

blueveinedthrobber wrote:

Lorena Bobbitt has been in an automobile accident....apparently some prick cut her off



Quote:
Advocate wrote:

Authorities found the penis in the yard in which Lorena tossed it. What I would like to know is how they knew it was her husband's.


Quote:

Moment-in_Time wrote:

LMFAO!!! Wow! Pray tell how many women make it a practice to castrate their husband's penis and go to that exact spot??!?!? Why on earth would there be any doubt the penis belonged to the castrated husband?!?


Quote:
Advocate wrote:

OMG, another literalist. Don't you recognize the joke?


Advocate, one is unable to read body language on a message forum. Your answer was not given in a jocular mode but in a serious vein, asking a straightforward question. No hint was given you were kidding. Now, you say it was a joke. OK, I'm sorry and apologize for not understanding.
0 Replies
 
Lordyaswas
 
  3  
Reply Fri 17 Jan, 2014 04:34 am
A friend of mine always wanted to be run over by a Steam Train.


When it finally happened he was chuffed to bits.
Lordyaswas
 
  4  
Reply Fri 17 Jan, 2014 04:41 am
@Lordyaswas,
I've just got back from the Doctor's again, but this time I discovered that I've got Hypochondria as well.
0 Replies
 
Region Philbis
 
  3  
Reply Fri 17 Jan, 2014 06:47 am

https://scontent-a-lga.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/68361_705718662782845_955109687_n.jpg
Advocate
 
  1  
Reply Fri 17 Jan, 2014 07:51 pm
@Region Philbis,
Region Philbis wrote:


https://scontent-a-lga.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/68361_705718662782845_955109687_n.jpg



Good work! I guess this is from hanging around with Hinge.
anonymously99
 
  -3  
Reply Fri 17 Jan, 2014 08:03 pm
@Advocate,
Stop making fun of me!
Advocate
 
  1  
Reply Fri 17 Jan, 2014 08:07 pm
@anonymously99,
While you are unhinged, you are not Hingehead.
anonymously99
 
  -1  
Reply Fri 17 Jan, 2014 10:30 pm
@Advocate,
I was not serious. Wink

Or are you messing with my head? Shocked
0 Replies
 
Region Philbis
 
  6  
Reply Sat 18 Jan, 2014 01:15 pm

https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/t1/46117_10153750697605377_715770375_n.jpg
 

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