Is Chivalry Really Dead? And Why?

chiv·al·ry
n., pl. -ries.
The medieval system, principles, and customs of knighthood.

The qualities idealized by knighthood, such as bravery, courtesy, honor, and gallantry toward women.A manifestation of any of these qualities.
A group of knights or gallant gentlemen.

I still hold doors open for people. Does that count?

Phoenix
What I'm talking about is courtesy, romance and all that fun stuff.

Personally, I think that "gallantry" towards women smacks of "noblesse oblige", an attitude that I find very demeaning. I was a teenager during the 1950's, well before the feminist revolution. I remember the first few dates where the boy had a car. I felt extremely uncomfortable when the boy attempted to the door for me. I did not know why, but I remember thinking that I could open the damn door myself.

I think that a lot of the acts of so called "gallantry" were really ways that men flunted their supposed superior position, although I don't think that the boys were conscious of the implications of what they were doing.

I believe that people need to treat others, no matter what their sex, with courtesy and consideration. I will hold a door open for a man as well as a woman. I have offered guys my spot on the checkout line, when they only had a few items in their basket, and I had a lot.

I think "gallantry" is really a matter of being a kind, empathic human being, and should not be relegated to the province of the male.

Personally, I think that "gallantry" towards women smacks of "noblesse oblige", an attitude that I find very demeaning. I was a teenager during the 1950's, well before the feminist revolution. I remember the first few dates where the boy had a car. I felt extremely uncomfortable when the boy attempted to the door for me. I did not know why, but I remember thinking that I could open the damn door myself.

I think that a lot of the acts of so called "gallantry" were really ways that men flunted their supposed superior position, although I don't think that the boys were conscious of the implications of what they were doing.

I believe that people need to treat others, no matter what their sex, with courtesy and consideration. I will hold a door open for a man as well as a woman. I have offered guys my spot on the checkout line, when they only had a few items in their basket, and I had a lot.

I think "gallantry" is really a matter of being a kind, empathic human being, and should not be relegated to the province of the male.

Montana wrote:

Phoenix
What I'm talking about is courtesy, romance and all that fun stuff.

I am all for romance, as long as it is honest, kind and considerate....................on the parts of both parties.

Phoenix32890 wrote:

Personally, I think that "gallantry" towards women smacks of "noblesse oblige", an attitude that I find very demeaning. I was a teenager during the 1950's, well before the feminist revolution. I remember the first few dates where the boy had a car. I felt extremely uncomfortable when the boy attempted to the door for me. I did not know why, but I remember thinking that I could open the damn door myself.

I think that a lot of the acts of so called "gallantry" were really ways that men flunted their supposed superior position, although I don't think that the boys were conscious of the implications of what they were doing.

I believe that people need to treat others, no matter what their sex, with courtesy and consideration. I will hold a door open for a man as well as a woman. I have offered guys my spot on the checkout line, when they only had a few items in their basket, and I had a lot.

I think "gallantry" is really a matter of being a kind, empathic human being, and should not be relegated to the province of the male.

I like that post very much. This topic reminds me of my boss, a lady I much admire. She is a vegetarian, body builder (not to a ridiculous extreme), and she wants to do things for herself. For instance, when she brings in those big jugs of water for the cooler, she does not want help. I helped her once or twice, because it had been the thing to do with previous managers. Then I realized she resented guys doing things for her that way. Now, I can comfortably watch her carry these jugs about and not lift a finger. She appreciates my sensitivity.

I think that a lot of the acts of so called "gallantry" were really ways that men flunted their supposed superior position, although I don't think that the boys were conscious of the implications of what they were doing.

Phoenix32890 wrote:

I think that a lot of the acts of so called "gallantry" were really ways that men flunted their supposed superior position, although I don't think that the boys were conscious of the implications of what they were doing.

Which is exactly why such acts are so rare. You really do get tired of being cut off at the knees for what are usually the same considerations we extend to other men.

Some of us were talking about this on another thread and I thought it needed a thread of it's own.

Someone said that Chivalry was dead and it was womens fault for sleeping around and acting like guys, but I have other opinions of my own, which I'll share after hearing some of your thoughts.

Lets talk :-D

Phoenix32890 wrote:

I think that a lot of the acts of so called "gallantry" were really ways that men flunted their supposed superior position, although I don't think that the boys were conscious of the implications of what they were doing.

Which is exactly why such acts are so rare. You really do get tired of being cut off at the knees for what are usually the same considerations we extend to other men.

But now I am going to say something controversial. I believe that so-called "good manners" are also time and place specific, i.e. the perception of what is polite or impolite changes with each generation.