No matter which line I choose, the others invariably advance before mine. Hmmm...why is that?
It is the result of my General theory of Participatory Travel Obfuscation
to wit: Any distance traveled greater than ten feet in the presence of another human will be blocked, delayed or otherwise impeded by that other person or their agents. This truth is mutually reciprocal.
It's especially annoying when you are in two lines of traffic. I usually pick another vehicle to mark my progress ie "the green van". If my (our) line gets ahead of the "Green Van"
then um we win :: .
But we never do.
The Green Van line of evil (cursed be all of them and their progeny) always
moves on without us and it's participants get the best parking spaces, the best spots on the beach sand and the last of the items on sale. They get to hang out with hipper people, have more time with their kids, nab that promotion, own better trained dogs, have shadier naps on hammocks and the first sip of the best batch of margaritas at the party.
L has pointed out to me that my General theory of Participatory Travel Obfuscation cannot be true because the members of other line don't seem to affected or contained within it, but I remind her that she is mad,
quite mad and that it doesn't occur to her that those Green Van people might in fact be illusions or reflections from some universe. That over there, in that other universe, I am in the Green Van with my well-trained dogs and happy kids on our way home from a fabulous day at the beach and thence to a posh party where I, dressed in my impeccably tailored -bought on sale- shorts, shall drift from the conversation whilst lounging on the hammock next to the table whereon my employer, hip host and hostess Holly and Elliot, are making blue margaritas by the gallon stopping only to whisper in my ear that the corner office is mine.