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Got Questions? Dr. Chai's got Answers

Forums: Humor, Funny, Humour
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Slappy Doo Hoo
 
  1  
Reply Wed 2 Aug, 2006 06:49 pm
Dear Chai,

We have our first date lined up for next Saturday, projected to be a beautiful, sunny afternoon.

What will you have planned to sweep me off my feet?
0 Replies
 
nimh
 
  1  
Reply Wed 2 Aug, 2006 07:09 pm
Chai Tea wrote:
I'm sorry to have to do this nimh....(presses button)

Dear Chai,

Do you like doing that?
0 Replies
 
Chai
 
  1  
Reply Wed 2 Aug, 2006 08:10 pm
Slappy Doo Hoo wrote:
Dear Chai,

We have our first date lined up for next Saturday, projected to be a beautiful, sunny afternoon.

What will you have planned to sweep me off my feet?


A bulldozer
0 Replies
 
Chai
 
  1  
Reply Wed 2 Aug, 2006 08:12 pm
nimh wrote:
Chai Tea wrote:
I'm sorry to have to do this nimh....(presses button)

Dear Chai,

Do you like doing that?


I have no feelings about it either way. It's being done in a professional capacity.

Ahem.....excuse me everyone....but it does happen to be DOCTOR Chai.
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Wed 2 Aug, 2006 08:18 pm
I bet if you lost your arrow you'd find it.
0 Replies
 
gustavratzenhofer
 
  1  
Reply Wed 2 Aug, 2006 08:21 pm
Doctor Chai, I was swimming in the nude today and afterwards I lay naked on a deck chair. Because the water was cold my testicles had shrunk to the size where they could fit between the slats on the chair. The sun warmed them up, they returned to their normal size, and when I stood up the chair rose with me, my testicles hanging underneath like a couple of angry apples.

My question, Dr. Chai, is how long do I have to walk around with this damn deck chair dangling between my legs?
0 Replies
 
Chai
 
  1  
Reply Wed 2 Aug, 2006 08:22 pm
gustavratzenhofer wrote:
Doctor Chai, I was swimming in the nude today and afterwards I lay naked on a deck chair. Because the water was cold my testicles had shrunk to the size where they could fit between the slats on the chair. The sun warmed them up, they returned to their normal size, and when I stood up the chair rose with me, my testicles hanging underneath like a couple of angry apples.

My question, Dr. Chai, is how long do I have to walk around with this damn deck chair dangling between my legs?



My, that sounds perfectly dreadful.
0 Replies
 
Green Witch
 
  1  
Reply Wed 2 Aug, 2006 08:30 pm
gustavratzenhofer wrote:
Doctor Chai, I was swimming in the nude today and afterwards I lay naked on a deck chair. Because the water was cold my testicles had shrunk to the size where they could fit between the slats on the chair. The sun warmed them up, they returned to their normal size, and when I stood up the chair rose with me, my testicles hanging underneath like a couple of angry apples.

My question, Dr. Chai, is how long do I have to walk around with this damn deck chair dangling between my legs?


Wow Gus, I just heard the same thing happened to Kickycan while he was vacationing in Croatia. Too bad he's not around anymore to tell you how he fixed the problem.
0 Replies
 
gustavratzenhofer
 
  1  
Reply Wed 2 Aug, 2006 08:36 pm
So the Doctor is just going to leave me hanging?

I'm going to sit on my band saw and slowly shimmy my way toward the blade, cautiously, and perhaps the blade will cut the slats away.

Be right back.
0 Replies
 
Lash
 
  1  
Reply Wed 2 Aug, 2006 09:02 pm
Blacksmithn-- I think you're going to be getting that hat soon.
0 Replies
 
gustavratzenhofer
 
  1  
Reply Wed 2 Aug, 2006 09:14 pm
It worked! The band saw neatly cut the slats and the chair split in half and fell on the floor.

Now, let me sweep up this mess. Sweep...sweep....sweep....

Where's the dustpan? Oh, there it is. I'll just put this sawdust and broken chair parts into the trash can and- what the hell is that? It looks like....A TESTICLE!!

The chupacabra got one last year, now the band saw gets one. Damn! I'm down to three.
0 Replies
 
makemeshiver33
 
  1  
Reply Wed 2 Aug, 2006 09:59 pm
Dr. Chai,

I'd like to inform you that the bill that you sent me last week for our session was wrong, I was charged for several sets of lingerie, and one pair of red leather chaps that were assless, along with a matching whip, the total sum for our hour session was charged as $1,489.63, with a debit charge on my banking statement reading Funky Monkey, instead of Dr. Chai.

This is obvious a mistake on your part Dr. Chai.

For I do not recall any such thing being used during our session, I insist that these errors be corrected as soon as possible.

Thank you, Shivers
0 Replies
 
JPB
 
  1  
Reply Wed 2 Aug, 2006 10:07 pm
Dear Chai,

What does one do with faucets? Thank you in advance for your help.
0 Replies
 
Chai
 
  1  
Reply Thu 3 Aug, 2006 04:30 am
makemeshiver33 wrote:
Dr. Chai,

I'd like to inform you that the bill that you sent me last week for our session was wrong, I was charged for several sets of lingerie, and one pair of red leather chaps that were assless, along with a matching whip, the total sum for our hour session was charged as $1,489.63, with a debit charge on my banking statement reading Funky Monkey, instead of Dr. Chai.

This is obvious a mistake on your part Dr. Chai.

For I do not recall any such thing being used during our session, I insist that these errors be corrected as soon as possible.

Thank you, Shivers


Ms. Shivers

This is Roland. Please address any billing concerns through me, as I handle all monetary transactions.

This was a charge for services in advance.
I have your signature on the consent for the EZ pay option, dividing the total payment into 60 payments.

I hope this clears up any questions you have.

In addition, for faster service, I would suggest you use our automated system. If that doesn't answer your question, you can be connected to my extension by pawing 7#244*299#####*01
0 Replies
 
Chai
 
  1  
Reply Thu 3 Aug, 2006 04:34 am
J_B wrote:
Dear Chai,

What does one do with faucets? Thank you in advance for your help.



There are numerous web sites out there offering videos for sale demonstating such uses.

Dr. Chai has NO plans of installing a webcam for demonstration. I can only refer.
0 Replies
 
nimh
 
  1  
Reply Thu 3 Aug, 2006 05:07 am
Dear Doctor Chai (DDC),

Why do I have such a headache?
0 Replies
 
Chai
 
  1  
Reply Thu 3 Aug, 2006 05:13 am
nimh wrote:
Dear Doctor Chai (DDC),

Why do I have such a headache?


because last night you behaved like a drunken sot.
0 Replies
 
nimh
 
  1  
Reply Thu 3 Aug, 2006 06:12 am
If only..
0 Replies
 
DrewDad
 
  1  
Reply Thu 3 Aug, 2006 06:41 am
Dear Dr. Chai,

All of my chaps are assless. Was I taken for a ride? Seriously, please inform the woeful ignorance of your other clients that chaps do not have asses; they're meant for horses, not donkeys.

I'm having nightmares about Gus. Should I worry, or just have an extra finger of Scotch before bedtime?

Signed,

Bad Dreams Chap My Ass
0 Replies
 
gustavratzenhofer
 
  1  
Reply Thu 3 Aug, 2006 07:17 am
Dear Dr. Chai,

I woke up this morning and all my faucets are gone. I can't water the animals without faucets. Who in the hell would steal a shitload of faucets?
0 Replies
 
 

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