Is it right to have sex on the first date..

Heck, they might as well have stayed at her place, had wild and crazy sex and then he could give her the money he would have spent on the date.
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Hilarious! and appropo.

"We would have gone to Olive Garden, and had wine and dessert. Here's $65.00.......should I give you the tip?"

um could it be this has turned into rather sexist thread? earlier i posted that having sex on the first date had happened to me and that it was not my intention but rather the lady. Yet the context of the responders has been that its the man that wants the sex on the first date. do we have an attitude ladies?

dys, Just chalk it up to, "you're one lucky dude!" c.i.

dys, I'd noticed that too... read fast though and wasn't sure if I'd just misunderstood. For the record, I think a) it's not bad to have sex on the first date in and of itself, even if you are interested in a long-term relationship -- having sex right away doesn't doom that and b) those "dates" (I haven't had many bona fide dates and I don't think any of those ended in sex) that have become sexual right away were not because of any, what, succumbing on my part. It was pretty 50 -50.

dys and innybody--

I wasn't making any judgements about anyone other than myself. I prefer to get to know someone before getting naked with them and performing the lovely act, which has been known to create additional people. Seems like a great deal of assuming is going on here. Hoping alternative opinions are still acceptable.

It seems chatoyant feels similarly, and we two women happen to agree that nothing is lost by waiting.

Codeborg said chat's theory was manipulative--she said it wasn't, and gave a scenario she thought was manipulative. I agree with her on all counts. Nobody said "All men..."

Haven't seen any sexism. Just some opinions and a little humor.

okey dokey

Succumbing? Pshaw!!! I have never "succumbed" in me life! Of course, I think, 'tis 50/50 when it happens.

Thing is, I have realised I cannot really comment on "first dates", because, when I think, I have actually always sort of got to know someone and it has then become romantic, rather than meeting and then "dating" - so that there has not ever been a first "date" as a really clear thing - well, perhaps once or twice....hmmmmmmm.

And I am inclined to have sex quickly, and to be the one clearly to initiate it, when I do not see the relationship as having any possibilities of being long term....hmmmmm again.

Now, I want to know why all the women want to do it with dys.
I am thinking all kinds of things.


General question:
Do guys still have 'date m.o.'s'? The quickest way to score a chick?....(I know no one will admit it....)

Any female been the subject of a transparent modus operandi recently?

Anybody else see the The Tao of Steve? All about the m.o.

Disclaimer: Not all guys have an m.o., and some females have m.o. on bagging a boyfriend/husband. Ew to both.

sofia, there have been several ongoing discussions about date m.o.s, on the "how to meet people" thread for example but a lot of places. I just destroyed my own credibility on the subject because I had steadfastedly been advising the fellas to quit with the plotting already, and then remembered that while it was very subtle and invisible to me at the time, my hubby totally plotted. It involved starting a discussion based on a t-shirt I was wearing (Zora Neale Hurston), purposely wearing a t-shirt he knew I would be interested in for a second discussion (Alice in Wonderland), asking me to teach him some sign, and writing an amazing poem for me. I didn't know that any of the steps were carefully thought out. Totally worked.

Oops, I didn't mean to be sexist. (I'd rather be sexy).

Anyway, I think if two people consent to having sex, whether it be on the first date or the first time they ever meet in the park, or whatever the circumstances - that's fine. It's just not my style. I have been made to feel (more than once) by men that if they hold doors open for me, buy me a nice dinner, etc., that I should "return the favor" by hopping into bed with them. I'm sure not all men are like that.

c.i. - I'm a woman with passion and feelings and a dash of morality. However, I've been known to have some pretty darn good times! :wink:

Sofia - right on gal!

Thanks. I'd quit reading that one.
I'll check it out.

Sofia, I know I speak for myself, but "date mo's" have been out of date long before jc was born. c.i.

Sofia-

No, not in a long long time! ........

"- that's fine. It's just not my style. I have been made to feel (more than once) by men that if they hold doors open for me, buy me a nice dinner, etc., that I should "return the favor" by hopping into bed with them. I'm sure not all men are like that."

This brings up another point. Why is it men are expected to buy dinner for women during dates? That's why I try NOT to bring a woman to dinner on the first date, I'd rather do something casual, get to know her before I decide if she's worth taking out to a nice restaurant. I do that(pay for a nice dinner) because I want to, not because I expect anything from her. I also know buying dinner, flowers, gifts, ect, is NOT the way to "win" her over.

By the way, what's "m.o.s.?"

I've mentioned this before, but yeah, I have always gone dutch and feel weird about it if I don't.

M.O. = modus operandi = your tried and true methods of getting the goil.

I don't go "dutch," though. I still don't like splitting bills.

And no, I don't think I have any m.o.'s. And you can't advise the "fellas to quit with the plotting!" Women play plenty of games themselves! Just a fact of life.

"Goil" sounds like Popeye language. LOL c.i.

...Slappy...Slappy...Slappy...tsk,tsk,tsk.....

That's like saying lubrication doesn't make a car run. And with some women, it's like saying GAS doesn't make a car run.

Booman, I mean with a girl you first meet. All that stuff is fine and dandy once you're already seeing each other for a little bit...but other than that, you look like a chump showing up at her doorstep on the first date with flowers in hand.

O.K.