Is it right to have sex on the first date..

Can't believe I just said that.

Ohmygawd.

hahahaha!!!!! My most recent ex was great for that until we moved 700 miles away. He still loves me and has asked me to go visit him several times. My son wants to go down and see his father, so maybe I'll head over and spend a very unfrustrating week with my ex ;-) He is very easy on the eyes as well, which helps a lot :-D

TESTING people ... isn't that manipulative? How genuine is that?



Well, the longest relationship I ever had (6 years) started with a good round of sex. It's an excellent way to get to know each other, and really breaks the ice. Nothing brings out deep and meaningful issues better than a lot of sweating and breathing together. Except maybe skinning a deer and tanning the hide using it's own brain, on the first date. That was cool too.

I had another relationship, deep and true, where we mutually decided to "save ourselves" and we were great, faithful friends for six months. Wow! We were so Aware and Conscious and it just blossomed like a rose! I still smile and sigh when I think about it. Then we had sex and three weeks later said goodbye. No clear reason, just that we were done. The mystery and suspense were gone, and turns out that was all the stuff. Now I find that rose petals go really well on a salad.

Far better not to play games, push, pull, or manipulate people artificially.
If you are addicted to intrigue, that may be all you will have.



So either have sex never (but keep looking forward to it every day) ...
or as soon as you can find a private room.
Or ... or ... do exactly what you really want to do.

Just be sure to cut loose and make it fully expressive, so it shows who you really are. But that's just a theory, ... based on not very much experience.






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"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." (Satchel Paige, 1906-1982)

If both are consenting adults, almost everything goes. c.i.

Hmmmmmm - I don't think I ever had a one-night stand....oh yes I did! But not on the first date. It was just that, after the sex, I did not want to do it again.

Hey! Two mistakes in a busy life ain't bad!

For the last time, dammit, I'm a virgin!

I think it's only happened to me once or twice. And I don't count one-nighters as "dates," anyway. The ones that didn't put out, I just photoshopped pictures of them banging farm animals and sent em' around the internet.

And I don't like to wait TOO long, it puts too much pressure on the first time...get it out of the way, I don't think it's any more "special" if you wait a long time.

If 3 weeks is "a long time", I beg to differ.

(Important note -- this wasn't, like, 3 dates. It was 3 weeks of being together almost every day.)

I don't think there's any certain number of days/dates before I label it a "long time." There's always different levels of sexual tension with different people, so it depends on the situation.

Screw it. First date or bust.

Sexual tension was high, but we decided to get tested first. Then waited for results.

That's smart.

So did you both pass your G.E.D.?

That thing is tough, man. Hooked on Phonics didn't work so great for me, I guess.

...Since the age of thirteen, I have NEVER...EVER...had an initial thought about sex, of "Is this the right thing to do?". To me, that is unnatural. There have of course, been many times when the opportunity of sex presented itself, and I THEN, thought of reasons, it would be imprudent, or unethical. And in situations like that, I like to think, the overwhelming majority of times, I did the self-respectable thing.
...For me to ponder right or wrong ,initialy, would be tantamount, to being hungry, and my first thought is, "Would it be right to eat food, because of these hunger pangs?"

...Remember Grasshoppers,... If there was something morally wrong, with the act of sex itself, God would have us go into heat only periodically, like the other animals.

Codeborg--

1) The theory was shared by Chatoyant. I said I subscribed to it.

2) It isn't a test or manipulation. It is a way for a woman to talk herself into waiting, when she'd possibly rather not.

Like: I'm not screwing myself up by not having sex with him. If he really likes me, he'll call later. If he really didn't like me, then I didn't waste a sponge on him.

Almost everything?? How about some of the laws on the books down in the state of Texas, now being challenged by the US Supreme Court?

New Haven, Many states, federal, and local government have laws on the books that are arcane, stupid, and plain rediculous. If you think people should follow all laws that should be 'private' in all respects, who will enforce them? c.i.

Looks like that's what they're trying to do, down in Texas. That's why this case is going to the Supreme Ct.

CodeBorg - As Sofia said, I'm the one who first wrote, "If he calls back, I've done the right thing - if he doesn't, I've done the right thing" etc.

What I think is manipulative is when a man takes a woman out for a nice evening, then expects her to hop into bed with him because after all, he's been putting out money so now she should just "put out" as sort of a payback. Heck, they might as well have stayed at her place, had wild and crazy sex and then he could give her the money he would have spent on the date. That would save time and angst ... wondering ... will she ... won't she? In fact, he could have saved a whole lot of time by just picking up a hooker on the street corner. Get my drift?

I want a man to like me for who I am, not what I have - it's as simple as that.

chat, Who are you? c.i.

Chatoyant,
...That sounds so valid, it should be a song.