Lola's Salon

Welcome dlowan, have a brownie.....good to see you here.

HofT, how nice to see you. Lola is off to work.

STOP, STOP!!!! Don't touch that cockroach!! Hebba carved it as payment for a gambling debt to Bugsy Siegel when he was in Las Vegas. It is a fine example of the existentialism represented by Kafka's The Bug. Naturally, Bugsy won't give a sh!t, but how was hebba to know? Hebba is an artist, not a hood.

Let's just leave it here by the stables while we figure out what to do with it. I have a feeling MOMA will want to give it prominent display space.

Come on inside and have some of Fifi's special coffee and, for Pete's sake, especially for hebba's sake, put that axe away!!!

(Another Devito improv) Whheeew!!!! Close!!!!

Meanwhile, back in the salon, Diane spots Deb. Hey, Deb!!! Here, sit by the fire while I find a tray of magic browinies for you. We always try to keep a fresh supply for guests.

Later, when you've warmed up, I'll take you out to the barns to see Danon's horse (a studly stud named Scorpion) and Piffka's mare, Pearl. Scorpion can speak English and has taught Pearl a few, choice words. Actually, they have developed quite a friendship, almost burning down the barn in Arizona when they tried to smoke some grass after a night of love.

Lola's place has lots of costumes for men and women, from Victoria's Secret to cowboy outfits for the men, which they got while in Arizona. You should see them in their Stetsons, it gives me a 'shiver me timbers and a yippee yi yo ti yay' kind of feeling whenever I see them walk down the street in their jeans and boots. And just wait until you see them in their tool belts. It gives the word 'tool' a whole new meaning! Ah, Deb, life is good.

HofT looks up from her flight plan to N34 54.30 W117 53.00 (Edwards AFB) to wave at Lola, running out to go to her office looking very elegant as usual; always happy to oblige Diane, she picks up the phone and dials her old buddy at the Las Vegas FSDO (Flight Standards District Office):

"Yo, it's me, HofT. Y'all know a Mr. Bugsy Siegel in Vegas?"
"Do we ever! What kind of trouble are you in this time?"
"No trouble - for a change! Am in NY right now and have to deliver a large chunk of wood to him - can't change my ETA so will have the crew here outfit it with a parachute and air-drop it; can you have it collected and delivered to his place of business?"
"Guess so. Will you be using Indian Springs AF Aux Arpt or Jean Drop Zone?"
"Jean is better - you won't have far to drive and my route is above 15,000 ft."
"Done deal! Uuuum - you sure he'll be glad to get it, right?"
"Absolutely! Have it on good authority it's actually modern art!"
<G>

<the Opening notes of Tchiakovsky's Nutcracker Suite is heard from Diane's purse>

She quickly finds her cellphone and... "Hello?"

"Diane, is that you? This is Piffka, I'm in... well, I'm not there."

"Whhaaaaat? I thought you were coming here for the good after-Christmas sales at L&T?"

"I was. I will. I would be there right now, but.... the weather. It's ugly. I think I may wait until this next storm comes through. Will you keep the Pearl for me, for a while? She'll be good!"

"But Piffka, where's Hebba?"

"Hebba? Isn't he there? Didn't he get my message??? The buyer from MOMA heard about his cockroach and is planning to view it this week! This could be his big break!"

kwkkk0988v31`1``1 --"yo'''bre'k'n 'p/// ckj~!#@k@!!^#~ 'bye."

Uh oh, I think Hebba's cockroach has been air dropped to Bugsy. Let's hope he likes modern art!

Nutcracker opening is heard again.
"Hello.."
"It´s hebba...hello?Diane?Hello"

PaL begins to play the theme song from "Rocky, The Flying Squirrel", but exchanging the word 'cockroach' for the word 'squirrel'.

While she's playing the piano, PaL waves at HelenOfTroy. "Hi Helen! Good To See You Here!"

On final approach to Edwards, HofT waves enthusiastically back at P+L and sends hugs to her darling doggie. Nice to meet you, Piffka and Hebba - don't worry about a thing, just heard from ATC (Air Traffic Control) your work of art was delivered to Mr. Bugsy Siegel, who signed a receipt in full settlement of your debt, adding: "We'll place it just inside the casino's service entrance for dealers and shills - bound to keep 'em honest!".

<G>

very bad connection....
Damn..t tha..c..kroa....was...suppo..d..to..e....or Lol.....W..at.he hel..y.o..gu.s..doin..air..roppi..g....it....o..M..Sie..el??

Sorry Hebba - must wait for ATC to say stop stream; can't hear you..... Will be back Tuesday for our new year's eve party at Lola's - see you then! <G>

Danon, being very amused at the goings on, and especially the SNAFU with Hebba's cockroach sez, Hey, everybody, I saw an old ICBM out behind the stables. I could fix it up so we could catch up with HofT and flag her down before she makes the cockr-drop. How does that sound?? Looking around at the blank stares danon sez, That's ICBM, for Intercontinental Ballistic Missile. There's an old one out back. I can make a cockpit and set up some steering and away we go as soon as we can get some Nitrous Oxide. Anyone good friends with their dentist??
Ooops - Too late!!
My Apache blood-brother could get the roach back. He lives right there in N. AZ.

Stradee prepares palamino for journey home / sees HofT turning experimental jet toward open field and waves / just as a huge carving of what-is-that? hoisted in parachute and placed near missle launcher.

Strange goings on since Stradee awoke whoozy from cider. Lola, what did ya spike the drinks with? I remember meeting Mikey, hearing P&L composing at the piano, HofT and I taking hold of Blatham's arm as we walked toward the dining room / and nothing after that except the sound of "crusader rabbit" themesong ~ or was it Rockie and Bullwinkle?

"Withers, an alka seltzer, please". "Thankyou sir"....

Well, all I can say is you sure know how to through a party, yes ya do Ms Lola, as Stradee gives Lola a hug and promises to return for New Years festivities.

Stradee saddles palamino ~ thanks stable boys for taking such good care of darling horse ~ waves to HofT as she taxies toward 7th ave ~ then calls Tonto on cell phone.

7500 (thread, maybe)>>

>> ATC to Danon (AH-64 Apache gunship) [Army's main attack helicopter / Hellfire missiles, Hydra rockets / 30-mm cannon]:

"Sir - following your advisory 7500 say again 7500 on N. AZ blood-brother and ICBMs: pls see Cicerone Imposter re Cheyenne Mountain earlier on thread - leave Bugsy Siegel alone. Lola's butler may have to hire extra personnel for New Year's Eve party as dealers in poker, baccarat, 21, roulette, wordgames - want no trouble with *that* union. EXPEDITE! Over and out until Tuesday <G>

Danon to ATC - Over Grand Canyon, squawking 0007, angels -1, Am piloting retrofit Cobra from Vietnam era, Huey too slow - gathers tiny holes too easily, Cobra much better, Roger willco re msg, good copy. Requesting vectors back to base. Thanks fellas/ladies.

Lola caught me and Diane, in the mens room, working on my Woodchuck ballad for Dlowan's thread. That was about an hour after the brownies arrived. Damn they were good, but I had been fore warned about the singing. And very firmly she was about that.
One more strike and you're out of here Lola said with a sly grin...
Diane slipped me a few more of the "chocolate treats" and I snuck out the door quickly, hopped in a cab and headed to the 11th St bar for a spell. I had to finish this ballad no?
I got there and the owner recognised me, said hello, and asked where I had been. I told him Lola's,,,,
he knew it well.

Whoops ~ "throw" not "through" / alka seltzer fizzing spelling neurons...

Stradee clicks "spelling check" program laughs....

i don't use spell check,,,,,,,,throw, thro, thru, through.... whatever, who cares? it's all good and you get the point no?

ain't like we're going to meet the Queen of England or sumptin right?