Lola's Salon

<Thank you Lola! Hebba! Danon! It was a lovely day!>

The evening light still glowed in the west while from inside the saloon came the sound of hard heels waltzing along the old wooden floorboards to the sad strains of "Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys...." The ladies, slightly tipsy, were adding melodic "...or cowgirls!!!" to the refrain and in sort-of time to the music.

Just then there was a loud knock on the front door. All eyes swiveled around. It was the beautiful young girl who had turned heads on the boardwalk earlier. The door opened and she said, "Mama... I've been looking for you!"

She was staring straight at Piffka... who realized that there was no escaping the introduction of her daughter, Hane, to this motley crew.

"Hello Darling! ...uhhh.... these are my friends, Lola, Diane...."


"Whatever are you doing?"

His eyes bulged and he sidled up to Piffka,tilting his brand new stetson at a rakish angle.Hovering uncertainly and hoping for an introduction,he said nothing.

Oh, and Hane... this is Hebba; Hebba, this is my TEENAGE d, Hane. She just looks like a grown-up!

Hane who had some of the largest blue eyes on the planet looked levelly at Hebba. Then recognition dawned.

Punctuating each word with a pause she stood in shock and said, "OH" <pause> "MY" <pause> "GOD" -- showing the girl had watched plenty of her favorite TV show.

Hebba stepped back apace. "Was this good? Or not good?????" It was hard to ignore the sweet smile of Hane, as she beamed at the man in the funny looking hat, however everyone in the room could sense that this vision of loveliness was more trouble than a pair of mountain lions. B.S., however, seeing a challenge, was on his feet and stumbling over.


"Muther!..." Hane grabbed her matriarch's hand and pulled her to the side... "Someone has taken THE PEARL!"

............

A tracking device had been added to the Volvo so that Piffka could be found when needed. It was a handy little ATT device that came with the new cell phone package, however, Hane used & abused it regularly so that the monthly bill was nearly astronomical.

............

"Darling thing, Pearl is here, she's in the back. Aren't you supposed to be in school?"

"And..and,and...What?Why did she say that?Teenager you say?Hmmm.."

Off to the side, danon thought to himself, "Lordy, Lordy. This could get very interesting."

hebba is red faced and puzzled and hears danons thoughts.
"I´ll just mosey on back to the cockroach,people."

"Frederick's of the Old West, eh? Sorry I missed Piffka's birthday", says jes. "I, too, was practicing my howdies and musing about the flammability of straw. By the way, never smoke straw. I now have a wicked headache!"

Just then there was a screeching of tires as a large black Cadillac towing a horse trailer peeled out of traffic. "Ma, I toldja the Pearl was missing!" says Hane, a little miffed.

Everyone runs to the trusty Volvo. "After that Caddy!" yells Diane as Piffka floors it.

BS, meanwhile, is delighted to see up close that Hane has similar if less abundant piercings. Together they drift away from the rest. "The eyebrow," she's heard to say... "Did the eyebrow hurt you much?"

"Naaah. I've got a low threshhold for pain. But what about your nostril...."

............

Piffka is laughing out loud to Diane.... "So it was Hane flirting with the guys! Hooohooohooo heeehee. <snort> She loves to show off! Isn't it sweet she was worried about the mare?"

"No need to worry about the mare," danon thought, "Scorpion told me the whole detailed story - and a darn good story it was too."

"HEY!!" yelled danon, "look out for that curve up ahead!! It's called Dead Man's curve for a reason!!"

Piffka is brought up short by Danon's cautionary yell. Adrenalin has flowed through her veins, into her brain and back out again. In short, she is filled with fear, foolhardiness and gusto in equal measures. She does, however, not want anybody hurt, including the Pearl.

Diane and Jespah are looking white-faced at the speeds with which the old Volvo had been traveling and, frankly, the hysterical giggles with which Piffka greets each new burst of speed. In addition, her humming of the William Tell Overture as she speeds down the narrow mountain roads does nothing to allay any fears.

"Danon," she asks, now that the curve has been safely maneuvered around, "What exactly did Scorpion tell you?"

Meanwhile, back at the saloon........

Peace&Love is still playing ragtime tunes on the old honky-tonk piano. As she plays, she watches the customers come in and out of the saloon.

The bartender is setting out little shot glasses of Tequila for a group of three young cowboys. The cowboys are re-hashing last weekend's rodeo, in which they all competed. The cowboys are very competitive. They see everything in life as a competition, which puts them always on the defensive. One of the young cowboys has described, over and over again, how he managed to wrestle a steer in the fastest time. He repeats his story because he needs to keep telling himself that he is the best. After they finish another round of Tequila, the three young cowboys leave the saloon.

PaL shuffles through some sheet music on the piano, and chooses another Scott Joplin tune, "The Entertainer".

Lola sits back and puts her feet up. She feels very groovy in her new Fredricks of Hollywood Cowgirl out fit.....................

Lola, My wife isn't the Frederick's type, so can you please, for us guys who doesn't get a chance to see it, describe your cowgirl outfit? Thanks, c.i.

"Well, Maam, the story Scorpion told me was very entertaining to say the least. Seems he went back to the stalls and had just found himself a nice soft place to sleep when this noise started. He could hear other horses having an argument about the conditions of this stall. Not knowing any of the others, he sort of sat back quietly and listened for awhile till he could get the drift of the situation. This lady horse was pitchin a fit about the filth and unsanitary stalls and the old head horse was really getting riled up with her and started to kick the boards close to her withers. She began to back off a bit, but the old head horse kept coming at her. About that time Scorpion said he got between the two and told the old fort to back off himself. Which he did. Then this purdy lady gave him the eye. You know, that look that ladies get when they see something they want. Well, anyway, that got him to thinkin himself. Whoa, he thought, I could sure get into trouble with this lady. He offered her the nice soft spot he had found to sleep at - when she blinked her lashes at him and asked him to join her. He said his knees got weak for a moment then got stronger. After that he began to whisper unmentionable things in her ear and ----

LOOK OUT!!!! THE TREE!!!!!!"

<I think I'd rather be back at the saloon about now!!!!!>

Not to worry. Piffka missed the tree.

<She's not THAT bad a driver!>


However, the roads are getting slippery and the black caddy & the horse trailer have disappeared, so the intrepid horse searchers head back to the saloon.

Thanks Piffka, when we get back we'll have to get some Frederick's of the Old West things for all you gals. Danon is a renouned Western artist and has the eye for it. In a demurely suggestive sort of way. That's best.

<<<See quote below wavy line.>>>

As Diane passes around her 'brownies' she is thinking that, so far, Pearl is the only girl here who has had any real fun. Well no, the luminous Hane is certainly holding her own, which makes her think how cute Hebba is when he blushes. Diane decides to take out a brownie for him and to tell him that his Kafkaesque cockroach is just not going to do it for Bugsy. Existentialism is way beyond anything Bugsy understands--heck, it's way beyond anything Diane understands!

She pulls hebba back into the saloon and sits him down next to Jespah and Lola then joins P&L at the piano. Sandra, what do think of those three young cowboys who were here earlier? Were they GW type cowboys or the real thing?

Looking at the men in the room, it is quite clear that western clothes give them all a certain panache. "I'm ready to dance. P&L, do you know the Cow Cow Boogie? Here are the lyrics:

Cow Cow Boogie

Words and Music by Don Raye Gene DePaul and Benny Carter

Out on the plains down near Santa Fe
I met a cowboy ridin' the range one day
And as he jogged along I heard him singin'
The most peculiar cowboy song
It was a ditty, he learned in the city
Comma ti yi yi yeah
Comma ti yippity yi yeah

Now get along, get hip little doggies
Get along, better be on your way
Get along, get hip little doggies
He trucked 'em on down that old fairway
Singin' his Cow Cow Boogie in the strangest way
Comma ti yi yi yeah
Comma ti yippity yi yeah

(Chorus)

Now singin' his cowboy songs
He's just too much
He's got a knocked out western accent with a dixie touch
He was raised on local ways
He's what you call a swingin' half breed
Singin' his Cow Cow Booogie in the strangest way
Comma ti yi yi yeah
Comma ti yippity yi yeah

(Repeat Chorus)

Ella Fitzgerald does it better than anyone else, wish she could be here with us. Maybe her ghost is here, enjoying the music.

As they all dance, Danon keeps talking about the ladies getting into the western spirit by going to Fredericks of the Old West. "What you don't seem to realize," says Diane, "is that women have the option of wearing pretty much the same thing as the men--tight jeans, boots, fitted shirts and cowboy hats. It is just that everything fits, well, differently. The curves are very apparent, and the walk is something to enjoy when the ladies are wearing boots.

Actually, I'll bet that Lola has some things somewhere in the rooms upstairs. Let's go see what we can find.

And they cow cow boogie up the stairs.

On the way upstairs danon very, beau gestedly, reassures Piffka that he had no doubt about her driving ability, but had thought that the story he was relating to her had been a distraction and was sorry.

Trevor joins Lola by the fire.....Lola in her out fit, feet resting on the ottoman, smiles as Trevor describes her out fit for the benefit of c.i.............

Now Trevor, don't get too carried away, you hear?

Edited to provide consistency in the story line