What's Up With Republicans and Sex?

And After The Spanking, The Oral Sex!
by LunkHead
Fri Apr 07, 2006 at 07:21:08 AM PDT

This is a good diary, because I get to quote Monty Python and the Holy Grail:

Dingo: You must spank her well, and after you are done with her, you may deal with her as you like... and then... spank me.
All: And me. And me too. And me.
Dingo: Yes. Yes, you must give us all a good spanking.
Dingo: And after the spanking, the oral sex.
Galahad: Well, I could stay a bit longer...

Driving to work today, and listening to CSPAN Radio, I heard three reporters were talking about Delay, while avoiding calling him corrupt, because he "Hadn't been convicted".
I wondered why these folks were still dutifully "servicing" Delay, even though he's resigned.
He's corrupt, that's a fact, much in like former majority leader Jim Wright's book deals were corrupt, though legal.
My mind wandered to "servicing" particularly of the oral variety, and it hit me that this (and spanking) is what ties the Republican party's disparate constituencies together.
WARNING!!!! Mental images of kinky Republican sexuality, and their views on sexualities below the break.

* LunkHead's diary :: ::
*

Think about it:


* Religious Right: Oral SEX Roberts

* Monica Lewinski coup: Oral Sex.

* Gay Marriage: Oral Sex.

* Newt Gingrich: Gingrich campaign worker Anne Manning admitted that she gave Newt oral sex while he was still married to his first wife.

* Robert Linligthgow "Bob" Livingston, Jr.: (Speaker for about 16 minutes in 1998) Spanking (Scuttlebutt on his sex scandal was that he's into leather).

* Jack Abramhoff's Downfall: Michael Scanlon's trashy sex with a waitress (can you say BLOW JOB?) that led him to break off his engagement with Emily Miller, and she ratted his profligate lifestyle out.

* Deregulation: Making the public "service" the corporations.

* Abortion: OK, this one is conventional coitus. But GOOD sex involves foreplay.

* Jim Bakker: He was hooking up with a pro. BLOW JOB

* Bob Barr: Photographed licking whipped cream off of strippers at his inaugural party. (OK, it's not technically sex, but it is unequivocally oral).

* Helen Chenoweth: Admitted to a six-year adulterous affair with a married associate. BLOW JOB

* John Fund: Impregnated the daughter of an old girlfriend and then encouraged her to abort his child. (No direct evidence of blow job, but sleeping with the mother AND the daughter needs to be noted).

* Henry Hyde: Had an extramarital affair with a woman who was married and had three children, during the course of which she and her husband were divorced. BLOW JOB

* Bernard Kerik: had two simultaneous adulterous affairs. BLOW JOB (Two affairs at once? Now we know what he did to Rudy Guilini in order to get his job)

* Rudy Giuliani: Had an adulterous affair. BLOW JOB

* Bill O'Reilly: Falafel man. He may not have gotten any, but the court papers show that he desperately wanted a blow job.

* Jack Ryan: Pressured his wife, actress Jeri Ryan, to have sex with other men. Tricked her into visiting sex clubs, where he asked her to have sex with him while others watched. (Insert 7 of 9 joke here)

* Ed Schrock: Withdrew his candidacy for a third term after tapes of him soliciting for gay sex were circulated. BLOW JOB

* Jimmy Swaggart: Had an affair with a prostitute. BLOW JOB


There you have it. All Republican actions are about blow jobs, desire for blow jobs, and envy that Democrats get more than they do.

except that I detect and underlying nastiness and hatefulness in Lash's posts that I hope I do not convey.

Roxxxanne wrote:

except that I detect and underlying nastiness and hatefulness in Lash's posts that I hope I do not convey.

I can only assume that this must have been one of those things that were said tongue-in-cheek.

Roxxxanne wrote:

except that I detect and underlying nastiness and hatefulness in Lash's posts that I hope I do not convey.

I can only assume that this must have been one of those things that were said tongue-in-cheek.

But, eh ... just out of curiosity ... what exactly is "particularly disgusting" about remembering the song that was playing the first time you experienced (fondly remembered) oral sex? It was on-topic even, it being Neil Young and she posting about it on a thread she started about Neil Young.. I think its kinda sweet, actually. I dont remember what music was playing first time I had sex...

So, what, was it the mention of oral sex (shock horror - god knows we never talk about such stuff on A2K)? The mention of oral sex with a woman? There's not like, any detail about it, or any specific shocking quality ... What disturbs you so deeply about this:

Good advice, anon. But how else should one characterize someone who we assume is an adult who would go back and search all of someone's posts in an attempt to smear and libel her?

How exactly do you claim I "smeared" and "libeled" you? By proving you to be a liar?

Weak argument Thomas (and a less agreeable new avatar too).

Ticomaya wrote:

How exactly do you claim I "smeared" and "libeled" you? By proving you to be a liar?

That's a very interesting question you're raising here, Tico. I'll start pondering it as soon I've stopped beating my wife. (As everybody knows, we libertarians are at least as evil as conservatives. I have to live up to our reputation.)

Weak argument Thomas (and a less agreeable new avatar too).

Now I'm confused ... is it your wife, or your closet boyfriend that you're beating up??

georgeob1 wrote:

Weak argument Thomas (and a less agreeable new avatar too).

What am I supposed to do? A2K doesn't have an irony smiley. This must be why you have missed that my irony was directed against Roxxanne's pseudo-psychoanalytic smear. My facial expressions towards my monitor made that strikingly obvious when I wrote my last post -- I am mystified how you couldn't see them from San Francisco.

I liked the picture of Scalia better.