A question for the guys...

Glad she asked for the email address. Ya never know.

I can think of a lot of men like that - where you aren't sure if they want to talk to you or not, if they are shy or simply not interested.

OK, Heph, I'll tell ya a secret, perhaps it'll make you feel better ... here's what I'll do, I'll tell you about how there's plenty of men, too, who just bumble their way along haplessly through this 'game' without a friggin clue what they're doing, cause they just never 'got' it or are simply - too bleedin shy to do it right, or hell - at all!

I can tell you on the irrefutable ground that I am the perfect example.

So, example. I've been having a hell of a week I can tell you and right now, I feel freaking lonely. Dont ask, long story. But basically, the main bright spot I'd got left the past week was joking around with my colleague Cs. (We're engaged, you know. She always said she'd marry me if I got her chocolates from Aztek Chocolat, so last week I finally got her a nice box and theatrically proposed to her in the office, knee on floor..)

Anyway, so I'm feeling miserable and lonely, and being too late out of my work to go to my favourite coffeehouse, I'm kinda wandering down aimlessly towards the old square. There's a folksy bric-a-brac type market there now because the Spring Festival just launched, so I'm walking around watching the vendors pack up their goods in the dark. Wondering whether I should just get some of the meat-and-onions they sell and sit at one of the long wooden tables. Nah.

Then just as I was gonna leave, I see this girl sitting by herself at the table farthest behind, an exceedingly pretty girl, reminds me of my old Moluccan colleague, but I think she's Japanese. Well, do I go there and start some chat? Of course not, I'm too shy. Besides, she's all reading travel guides and stuff, probly wants to sit by herself..

But I dawdle about anyway, walk down the stalls another time. There's one that sells earrings and pretty, little stones of all kinds of different warm colours, the small ones have a little ring so you can hang 'em on a necklace or something. I could buy one ... pretty one, there, they're only a dollar anyway.. I look around at her over on the other end, hesitate, doubt, and when I finally pick a very pretty black one with a shading of grey sheen and turn around, two guys have gone to sit right next to her. I'll be damned if I'm gonna walk up to a total stranger and start a chat with two other guys sitting right there.

I sigh, and think (nothing much), and decide to get some food anyway. The turkey in sauce looks good (enough). I get my portion, and walk up straight to homegirl's table, and sit kinda across from her. She looks up and smiles, but only for a split-second before returning to her maps. I sit, take a coupla bites, and feel silly, so I take out my papers that I need to summarise for work and read.

OK? Get the picture? I figured out a random stranger I really like, who is by herself, and I'm sitting across from her without saying anything and reading my papers! Can you believe it?

So, I've got to admit that eventually, it was she who addressed me and asked me to point out where she was on the map (eh, here - in the central square downtown). As it happens, she turned out to be a concert pianist, and had flown in the day before on the invitation of the Spring Festival; she'll be doing a Mozart recital with a Hungarian flutist in a week's time, will be rehearsing till then. Very nice, vivid and outgoing.

So, I also have to admit that she was the one to ask my name after a bit, rather than the other way around. I did give her the little stone tho, as in, oh a spontaneous gesture let me give you something before you go, here, this is for you.. But again, she was the one to ask for my email address - I woulda just let her walk away after that...

So there you go. All confident and know what we're doing? You think... :wink:

Heph, nimh is but one example of sooo many men.

Geez. A perfect example of why sweet girls and sweet guys rarely get together. I'm sure I've missed out on plenty of good opportunities bc I was either too shy; or I simply did not notice the other person (or thought they were annoyed/uninterested in a conversation).

I can think of a lot of men like that - where you aren't sure if they want to talk to you or not, if they are shy or simply not interested. The only thing to do is go for the plunge, or never know. Glad she asked for the email address. Ya never know.

The fear of rejection however is real, and a series of rejections can dent a man's confidence sufficiently to make him simply give up. I know - I was that sad man!

Feeel- ings..... nothing more than feeeel-ings....

That's great. I don't feel so alone in here in the weeeee hours of the night/morning like I use too :-D

Montana wrote:

That's great. I don't feel so alone in here in the weeeee hours of the night/morning like I use too :-D

Yup, I'm here almost every night anywhere from 1-3 am is when I usually hit the hay. I was having a pretty good conversation over in S&R last night and forgot to come back here and chat. LOL Sorry about that. It's good to know I'm not the only one up either!