A dating quandary

Soz, I thought he met him on a business trip to Prague. Come on, Gautam, help us understand the in's and out's of your love life.

<sniff> Thanks guys for some great advise. You all are absolutely wonderful !!! And that is what I love so much abt A2K !!

Before I give u an update on what happened last evening.....

JerryR - Yes, once upon a time, in not that distant past - I had a sailor in every port, but as I have got older (read after I crossed the big 30) have been much more restrained, though I still seem to go wild everytime I am in Turkey

Soz, the potraits in my mind, are definately not of the Prague guy - it did not last long enuff for me to frame him and hang him (oops, I don't think it came out correctly )

I started seeing the guy in Prague abt 3 yrs ago, he was on the front desk of the hotel I used to stay. It was purely sex at first, but I (I would have said we, but not now) started getting serious abt each other during October/November last year. To the extent, that I turned compeltely faithful to him, did not date anyone in London, and (not very many people know it) went to Prague almost every weekend to be with him. Unfortunately it ended, rather acrimoniously this Feb, and it really really hurt - so much so that it prompted me to renounce the dating world (and hence the talk of monkhood etc). The dancer in Prague was just a side show - I did not do anything with him, as when I met him I was still going out with "P" (thanks KP, for introducing me to the convention of naming my lovers with their initials ) and was determined to make the relationship between me and "P" work.

But coming back to the issue in hand, I had more or less made up my mind to ask "I" first before asking his flatmate (he is a lovely Japanese guy, I think arnd 40 with a laugh that makes me go week in my knees and yeah, he is single, that much he told me when we first met). But I could not muster up enuff courage to ask "I" face to face so I called him and left him a voice mail asking, if it is okay with him if I invited his flatmate on a date. "I" then called me up (and left me a vociemail, we love playing telephone tag ) saying he has no problems and left the phone number of his flatmate. But now, I am being my usual libran self, not being able to decide....

- Did Iain ask his flatmate before giving his phone number to me ?
- What if I ask him out and he says "no" ? Am not sure that I am ready for rejection right now...
- Do I call him ?
- If "I" is okay for me to date him, should I get some indication from "I" as to what the flatmate thinks abt me before making a move, he being "I" best friend and all ?

Mind you, I am NOT looking for a relationship. I have loved and lost, loved again, and lost that as well. Twice in a lifetime is enough for me. Just someone to go out with, and ocassionaly have...errr.umm...you know what

Oh and Dag, I might be in Bratisalava 2 weeks from now - for a couple of days. Know someone who might like some "eastern delight"

sweetie - if you think your friend I is ok with it - for smeg's sake ask the other bloke out on a smegging date!!!

Just prepare yourself for rejection - it won't kill you - I know it hurts, but it won't kill you!

BOY were you ever the sly one over the Prague guy!!!!!

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

LOL

Contrary to popular belief, I am an intensely private person when it comes to matters which are very close my (mostly non existant) heart. It is only now that I can talk abt "P" and say that I really really loved him.....

Super G,

You've got to face the possibility of rejection. I've dithered so many times in my life that, if I have to regret anything, it would be letting the moment pass with too many wonderful women and therefore never having had a real chance with them.

If he's not interested, big deal, he's not right for you...you need someone who is attracted to you. There sound to be plenty of those (suitable or unsuitable) from which the future will offer you many chances.

Make that call - if he hasn't said so already, "I" may well discuss with flatmate and he'll feel much less interested if he's unsure that you value him enough to take a chance and ask him out.

By the way - I'm taking a chance tonight with a woman who I've known over many years but never when she's been single - now she is and I'm not missing my chance to let her know I'm interested...and you'll be aware of how much I've dithered in the past!

May the force be with you (acutally, I typo'ed that one first as "Fay the force..." which seemed somewhat suitable!)

Go for it!

Pete
Gautam

Walter,

Vielen Dank - du bist ein Liebster!

KP

Glad, Y O U said this! :wink:

Manchmals ist Indien VIEL waermer als England!

KP

You must have had some bad company in Germany to know such meanings!

Indien - that means Indian !!! If u are talking abt me, I wanna know !!!!!

Well, Gautam, your German is perfect: Indien = India.

And what does the rest of the sentence say ???? I WANNA KNOW !!!!

(Nearly perfect: Indian would be 'indisch'.)

Pete just stated that sometimes it's much warmer in India than in England.

Which seems to be true, even to the North of India, isn't it?

Anywhere in India is warmer than England !!!

THAT's what all the Prague-ness was about. What about your gorgeous poem about waking up in Prague -- was that P or this dastardly fella that broke your heart in Feb?

Go for Iain's flatmate already! KP makes a good point about said flatmate (I forget his initial) being nonplussed if "I" mentions that you are interested, but then nothing...

Soz, dahling - "P" is the fella who broke my heart....doesn't that make you want to kill him

And I did not mention I's flat mate initial as yet !!