Reply
Fri 3 Feb, 2006 01:15 am
OK. First of all, thanks for reading, and second of all this can be a very sensitive topic, so I hope those that are Heterosexual here, please don't make a joke out of it.
OK: Situation.
I have a GF, we Lesbian. First of all, I am Gay, I do not like "Dick", male part. That's why I am Lesbian.
I don't mind kissing, foreplay, carressing a woman, Oral sex.....etc.... with my GF or she do it to me.
BUt ehre come the big problem. She likes Toys, Strap on and lately she want to **** me with strap on. OK, Now we argue. I told her, I do not want strap on.........anyways, strap on is like u know fake d-i-c-k, if she going to **** me with that, it is heterosexual sex, TO ME. And I don't want to engage in any hetero sex act.........not that I have anything against hetero, but I just prefer the strap on or Didlo NOT inside me......
and yeah, that the situtation, I dont like to do it and she want me to do it.......so there we go,w aht should I do??? i mean am not gonna do it, am just not, period...........bottom line, we break up.
I would tell her that then. It is your right to not have that done to you. Just tell her straight out, you're not gonna do and if she can't except that then break up with her.
I mean, please don't get me wrong. Intercourse is beautiful, i mean for heterosexual......
it just me, i just don't feel turn on by those.......and i dont really want to be penatrate with those strap on........i just think they gross, who know, i can get infection......etc.........
I mean, I know sometimes you have to satisfy your "love" whether guy or girl.........but I just don't really want to do it........I mean, having a didlo or strap on inside me, why not go for a real penis.......i mean, i don't want to go for it......... but it just no different as engage in what a normal couple would do, straight couples..........
am really confuse, i mean i love her, but I just cant do it............"sad"
Just tell her how you feel. If she loves you she will understand. If she doesn't then it's probably a good thing, there are plenty of single women out there.
Relationships always involve sacrifice.
Relationships always involve give and take.
You can't be too selfish in bed or out.
You can't have everything the way you want.
You can't have everything when you want.
If the bond is strong enough, the strap on is definitely worth it.
It's selfish to be a lesbian and not wanna feel like you're having sex with a man? If she feels uncomfortable about it, she shouldn't HAVE to do it regardless of how strong the bond is. We're not talking about who's taking out the garbage here.
InTraNsiTiOn wrote:It's selfish to be a lesbian and not wanna feel like you're having sex with a man?
Tell me where I said how she should feel? You're putting words in my mouth.
InTraNsiTiOn wrote:If she feels uncomfortable about it, she shouldn't HAVE to do it regardless of how strong the bond is.
1)Tell me where I said she *had* to do it? 2) You're putting words in my mouth again. 3) Am I to take it then that you have never done anything sexually out of commitment and bond that you did not want to do? Please let me know.
InTraNsiTiOn wrote: We're not talking about who's taking out the garbage here.
Meaning unclear.
Thank you Intransition for your advice, I will definately talk to her.
and Chumly, im sorry if I Misunderstood but the Poem that you post up there does imply about how I should have sex, or sacrify or not being selfish........ so you cannot really blame Intransition for what she/he type.
TO me, I think it doesn't matter about being commit or not, it about respect each other. It just that there are things that people don't want to do, like I don't want to use strap on......... I mean, if your husband/wife want to do soemthing and you dont want to, are you willing to sacrify to satisfy him/her?
I mean it only up to a certain degree, using a strap on is not something I want and I think she should respect it.........if two people living with each other and they not happy then what is the point? I can move on with my life and she can go find a girl who like to do strap on with her.
Re: DO NOT like Strap On and Toys, how to tell HER?
Quote:If the bond is strong enough, the strap on is definitely worth it.
We all know relationships mean sacrifice. She's saying she doesn't like to have sex with a strap on to the point where she could break off the relationship because of it. Just because the bond might be good, that in no way means that she should have to sacrifice the way she feels and give in to the way her partner wants to have sex like you were implying by your statement.
Perhaps I took what you said the wrong way, and if I did i'm sorry. I'm not looking for an argument here.
td8181 wrote:Thank you Intransition for your advice, I will definately talk to her.
and Chumly, im sorry if I Misunderstood but the Poem that you post up there does imply about how I should have sex, or sacrify or not being selfish........ so you cannot really blame Intransition for what she/he type.
TO me, I think it doesn't matter about being commit or not, it about respect each other. It just that there are things that people don't want to do, like I don't want to use strap on......... I mean, if your husband/wife want to do soemthing and you dont want to, are you willing to sacrify to satisfy him/her?
I mean it only up to a certain degree, using a strap on is not something I want and I think she should respect it.........if two people living with each other and they not happy then what is the point? I can move on with my life and she can go find a girl who like to do strap on with her.
Thank you! It appears I am not the only one who took it that way.
Re: DO NOT like Strap On and Toys, how to tell HER?
InTraNsiTiOn wrote:We all know relationships mean sacrifice. She's saying she doesn't like to have sex with a strap on to the point where she could break off the relationship because of it.
InTraNsiTiOn wrote:Just because the bond might be good, that in no way means that she should have to sacrifice the way she feels and give in to the way her partner wants to have sex like you were implying by your statement.
Yes we have been over this part and it's quite the balancing act at the best of times. No, I did not imply that "she should have to sacrifice the way she feels and give in to the way her partner wants" per se. Again you are putting words in my mouth, you need to read what I said. my entire premise is predicated on the benefits of the bond outweighing the drawbacks.
InTraNsiTiOn wrote:Perhaps I took what you said the wrong way, and if I did i'm sorry. I'm not looking for an argument here.
No worries on that, I won't take offense and it is a valid and difficult subject: "At what point is sacrifice greater than bond?"
In answer to that question, the best that I might say, is that perhaps only in hindsight can you truly know.
Re: DO NOT like Strap On and Toys, how to tell HER?
InTraNsiTiOn wrote:We all know relationships mean sacrifice. She's saying she doesn't like to have sex with a strap on to the point where she could break off the relationship because of it.
InTraNsiTiOn wrote:Just because the bond might be good, that in no way means that she should have to sacrifice the way she feels and give in to the way her partner wants to have sex like you were implying by your statement.
Yes we have been over this part and it's quite the balancing act at the best of times. No, I did not imply that "she should have to sacrifice the way she feels and give in to the way her partner wants" per se. Again you are putting words in my mouth, you need to read what I said. my entire premise is predicated on the benefits of the bond outweighing the drawbacks.
InTraNsiTiOn wrote:Perhaps I took what you said the wrong way, and if I did i'm sorry. I'm not looking for an argument here.
No worries on that, I won't take offense and it is a valid and difficult subject: "At what point is sacrifice greater than bond?"
Re: DO NOT like Strap On and Toys, how to tell HER?
InTraNsiTiOn wrote:We all know relationships mean sacrifice. She's saying she doesn't like to have sex with a strap on to the point where she could break off the relationship because of it.
InTraNsiTiOn wrote:Just because the bond might be good, that in no way means that she should have to sacrifice the way she feels and give in to the way her partner wants to have sex like you were implying by your statement.
Yes we have been over this part and it's quite the balancing act at the best of times. No, I did not imply that "she should have to sacrifice the way she feels and give in to the way her partner wants" per se. Again you are putting words in my mouth, you need to read what I said. my entire premise is predicated on the benefits of the bond outweighing the drawbacks.
InTraNsiTiOn wrote:Perhaps I took what you said the wrong way, and if I did i'm sorry. I'm not looking for an argument here.
No worries on that, I won't take offense and it is a valid and difficult subject: "At what point is sacrifice greater than bond?"
Re: DO NOT like Strap On and Toys, how to tell HER?
InTraNsiTiOn wrote:We all know relationships mean sacrifice. She's saying she doesn't like to have sex with a strap on to the point where she could break off the relationship because of it.
InTraNsiTiOn wrote:Just because the bond might be good, that in no way means that she should have to sacrifice the way she feels and give in to the way her partner wants to have sex like you were implying by your statement.
Yes we have been over this part and it's quite the balancing act at the best of times. No, I did not imply that "she should have to sacrifice the way she feels and give in to the way her partner wants" per se. Again you are putting words in my mouth, you need to read what I said, my entire premise is predicated on the benefits of the bond outweighing the drawbacks.
InTraNsiTiOn wrote:Perhaps I took what you said the wrong way, and if I did i'm sorry. I'm not looking for an argument here.
No worries on that, I won't take offense and it is a valid and difficult subject: "At what point is sacrifice greater than bond?"
Re: DO NOT like Strap On and Toys, how to tell HER?
InTraNsiTiOn wrote:We all know relationships mean sacrifice. She's saying she doesn't like to have sex with a strap on to the point where she could break off the relationship because of it.
InTraNsiTiOn wrote:Just because the bond might be good, that in no way means that she should have to sacrifice the way she feels and give in to the way her partner wants to have sex like you were implying by your statement.
Yes we have been over this part and it's quite the balancing act at the best of times. No, I did not imply that "she should have to sacrifice the way she feels and give in to the way her partner wants" per se. Again you are putting words in my mouth, you need to read what I said, my entire premise is predicated on the benefits of the bond *outweighing* the drawbacks.
InTraNsiTiOn wrote:Perhaps I took what you said the wrong way, and if I did i'm sorry. I'm not looking for an argument here.
No worries on that, I won't take offense and it is a valid and difficult subject: "At what point is sacrifice greater than bond?"
Re: DO NOT like Strap On and Toys, how to tell HER?
InTraNsiTiOn wrote:We all know relationships mean sacrifice. She's saying she doesn't like to have sex with a strap on to the point where she could break off the relationship because of it.
InTraNsiTiOn wrote:Just because the bond might be good, that in no way means that she should have to sacrifice the way she feels and give in to the way her partner wants to have sex like you were implying by your statement.
Yes we have been over this part and it's quite the balancing act at the best of times. No, I did not imply that "she should have to sacrifice the way she feels and give in to the way her partner wants" per se. Again you are putting words in my mouth, you need to read what I said, my entire premise is predicated on the benefits of the bond outweighing the drawbacks.
InTraNsiTiOn wrote:Perhaps I took what you said the wrong way, and if I did i'm sorry. I'm not looking for an argument here.
No worries on that, I won't take offense and it is a valid and difficult subject: "At what point is sacrifice greater than bond?"
Re: DO NOT like Strap On and Toys, how to tell HER?
InTraNsiTiOn wrote:We all know relationships mean sacrifice. She's saying she doesn't like to have sex with a strap on to the point where she could break off the relationship because of it.
InTraNsiTiOn wrote:Just because the bond might be good, that in no way means that she should have to sacrifice the way she feels and give in to the way her partner wants to have sex like you were implying by your statement.
Yes we have been over this part and it's quite the balancing act at the best of times. No, I did not imply that "she should have to sacrifice the way she feels and give in to the way her partner wants" per se. Again you are putting words in my mouth, you need to read what I said, my entire premise is predicated on the benefits of the bond *outweighing* the drawbacks.
InTraNsiTiOn wrote:Perhaps I took what you said the wrong way, and if I did i'm sorry. I'm not looking for an argument here.
No worries on that, I won't take offense and it is a valid and difficult subject: "At what point is sacrifice greater than love?"
Re: DO NOT like Strap On and Toys, how to tell HER?
InTraNsiTiOn wrote:We all know relationships mean sacrifice. She's saying she doesn't like to have sex with a strap on to the point where she could break off the relationship because of it.
InTraNsiTiOn wrote:Just because the bond might be good, that in no way means that she should have to sacrifice the way she feels and give in to the way her partner wants to have sex like you were implying by your statement.
Yes we have been over this part and it's quite the balancing act at the best of times. No, I did not imply that "she should have to sacrifice the way she feels and give in to the way her partner wants" per se. Again you are putting words in my mouth, you need to read what I said, my entire premise is predicated on the benefits of the bond *outweighing* the drawbacks.
InTraNsiTiOn wrote:Perhaps I took what you said the wrong way, and if I did i'm sorry. I'm not looking for an argument here.
No worries on that, I won't take offense and it is a valid and difficult subject: "At what point is sacrifice greater than bond?"
Re: DO NOT like Strap On and Toys, how to tell HER?
InTraNsiTiOn wrote:We all know relationships mean sacrifice. She's saying she doesn't like to have sex with a strap on to the point where she could break off the relationship because of it.
InTraNsiTiOn wrote:Just because the bond might be good, that in no way means that she should have to sacrifice the way she feels and give in to the way her partner wants to have sex like you were implying by your statement.
Yes we have been over this part and it's quite the balancing act at the best of times. No, I did not imply that "she should have to sacrifice the way she feels and give in to the way her partner wants" per se. Again you are putting words in my mouth, you need to read what I said, my entire premise is predicated on the benefits of the bond *outweighing* the drawbacks.
InTraNsiTiOn wrote:Perhaps I took what you said the wrong way, and if I did i'm sorry. I'm not looking for an argument here.
No worries on that, I won't take offense and it is a valid and difficult subject: "At what point is sacrifice greater than love?"
Re: DO NOT like Strap On and Toys, how to tell HER?
td8181 wrote:OK. First of all, thanks for reading, and second of all this can be a very sensitive topic, so I hope those that are Heterosexual here, please don't make a joke out of it.
OK: Situation.
I have a GF, we Lesbian. First of all, I am Gay, I do not like "Dick", male part. That's why I am Lesbian.
I don't mind kissing, foreplay, carressing a woman, Oral sex.....etc.... with my GF or she do it to me.
BUt ehre come the big problem. She likes Toys, Strap on and lately she want to **** me with strap on. OK, Now we argue. I told her, I do not want strap on.........anyways, strap on is like u know fake d-i-c-k, if she going to **** me with that, it is heterosexual sex, TO ME. And I don't want to engage in any hetero sex act.........not that I have anything against hetero, but I just prefer the strap on or Didlo NOT inside me......
and yeah, that the situtation, I dont like to do it and she want me to do it.......so there we go,w aht should I do??? i mean am not gonna do it, am just not, period...........bottom line, we break up.
Doesn't sound like you two are compatible sexually. I would take issue that using a strap-on is a heterosexual sex act. It is very common maybe even the norm. I might even suggest counseling to open yourself up sexually. I am guessing that you may have been sexually assaulted by a man in the past and you associate that with your girlfriend's "penis."
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