My girlfriend believes in God

cicerone imposter wrote:

After you're married for a couple of years, pharting becomes a contest.

I win. Hands down.

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I have to raise my hand to get her attention.

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Re: My girlfriend believes in God

stuh505 wrote:

...In general, I do not respect the religious viewpoint...

I don't think you have to say much more than that. Now my assumption
here is that you would have a very hard time respecting anyone who held
a religious viewpoint. If that is so, and if you marry, I predict you've got
a rocky road ahead.

My Lovely Bride is somewhat religious in a New-Agey sort of way. I'm
Catholic (well, technically I'm a heretic -- but that's another story). Yet
we have been married for going on twenty-seven years. That's because
we respect each other and respect each other's right to hold goofy beliefs.

We hashed this all out before we got married and agreed on how the kids
would be educated (in the Catholic faith, but exposed to both viewpoints).

I think it's worked out well.

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I think sakhi has it about right. Don't toss evidence her way, and give her to understand that preachments are unwelcome. I don't see it as that big a problem.

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Stuh, Mr B and I do not share religious convictions. To be honest, I'm not sure what religious convictions he has, if any, because he's never discussed it and we've been married for 16 years. He was very nervous when I started taking our children to church because he thought it would change me, change us, change everything. I was aware of his concerns and although it might have changed me, I made sure it didn't change us or change everything. I don't ask him to join me at church functions, he doesn't ask me not to attend them.

stuh505 wrote:

Well she's not a strong Christian. She doesn't attend church. She's not anti-evolution. She's not against science. She doesn't read the bible, at least, I don't think she does. We're both training to be Ph.D scientists. And she IS flexible.

I don't see any reason why you both can't accept this difference within your relationship. If you've got so much else going for you then there's nothing wrong with having a different religious philosophy than your partner.

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J_B's marriage, like ours, have done just fine with differring ideas about religion. It goes to show that religion is only one aspect of a committment to share your life with a partner. If both understand from the beginning that religion should not be a major part of the marriage, everything should work out just fine.

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Bella Dea wrote:

Stuh, I too think that this is a losing battle for you. Even my husband and I, who have very similar beliefs, butt heads sometimes regarding spiritual issues. It sparks (as you well know) quite the large flame in most people.

Even if you can get past it, what about kids? How would you raise them?

A losing battle, you say...yet you haven't divorced your husband over the issue

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Stuh,

My wife and I have been together for 9 years. I have no religion and she is Polish Roman Catholic non church going. At first I did not care, then a few years later when she would make causal references to god, I would entertain longish treatises on the destructiveness of most organized religions and the illogic of the Christian faith in terms of such a childish, simplistic, backwards world view.

She clearly was not going to change her core beliefs, and I started to dislike that aspect of her. Then more time went by and I let it go, and now it's simply one of the things that makes two people different, but is not a deal breaker.

As for you and your mate to be, there is no way anyone can know whether it will be a deal breaker or become a non issue, until or unless it actually does. The dynamics of relationships are too hard to predict.

What I suggest you do is after you have lived together for more than 2 years and before you have kids, make it an issue on your part and see if it "self-resolves".

A trial by fire is the acid test and given what you have told me, it sounds like it will survive, but it's the only way you are going to know.

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Re: My girlfriend believes in God

stuh505 wrote:

In general, I do not respect the religious viewpoint. In my opinion it is an irrational misconception. This is something I really want my soulmate to agree with me on! How can I go around insulting other people for something when she fits the same categories...I can't.

This is, truly, a nightmare. I don't know what to do. She is a rational person, but her parents are completely irrational. They are completely superstituous, much more so than her...but she has clearly picked some of this up.

I feel embarrased having to continuously explain that certain things are completely completely insubstantiated.

I'm sure you didn't intend it to be, but this was one of the most obnoxious, self-righteous posts I've seen in awhile. Especially the part about wanting to be able to insult people without insulting her. Why do you have to insult people???

Maybe I'm crazy, but it's a sad day when a belief in God is so horrible a thing to ruin a relationship.

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I agree, John Creasy. I found that post to be offensive, too. However, it is always gratifying to watch non-Christians be as self-righteous as they accuse us Christians of being.

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This thread just reminded me of a interesting notion from Nietzsche. He said that although he no longer believed in God, scientific materialism is just as dogmatic and consequently just as harmful as religious dogma. I tend to agree. Maybe you should ease up on the hardcore scientism.

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Hi Eva & John,

Here is the dictionary definition of self-righteous: piously sure of one's own righteousness; moralistic.

In what way was this "non-Christian" being "as self-righteous as they accuse us Christians of being"?

Who if I may I ask are "they"?

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JC, Forget "materialism." Science is not dogmatic. If that's your definition, you evidently understand very little about science. Nothing is "absolute." We can only rely on science to explain by observation and evidence that their assumptions are true. Only religion can be termed dogmatic.

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Hi Eva & John,

If stuh505 discounts the religious viewpoint, why does it follow that stuh505 is "piously sure of one's own righteousness; moralistic"?
Where is the pious surety of righteousness?
Where is the moralizing?

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cicerone imposter wrote:

JC, Forget "materialism." Science is not dogmatic. If that's your definition, you evidently understand very little about science. Nothing is "absolute." We can only rely on science to explain by observation and evidence that their assumptions are true. Only religion can be termed dogmatic.

Right you are, true science is the antithesis of dogmatism in that everything is open to proof, and not just past and present proofs, but the ability to change based on future proofs.

It is religion that makes dogmatic claims of uncontestable, complete and superior knowledge through supreme unknowable mysterious powers.

Actually my wife tries to convince me that she has supreme unknowable mysterious powers and that I must abide by her demands, is she god incarnate or the she devil from hell?

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Chumly wrote:

Actually my wife tries to convince me that she has supreme unknowable mysterious powers and that I must abide by her demands, is she god incarnate or the she devil from hell?

Which way do you treat her? Like a godess?

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Depends if she is naughty or nice, of course only the god Santa knows and he comes but once a year, unlike me, who comes more often

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Ofcoarse! He would be foolish not to. Wink

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Chumly, thanks for the sound advice. I don't have any intention of leaving her now anyway, and your advice is what I plan to do.

JC & Eva --

Oh come on, we all insult people. We all giggle at the people who are dressed funny behind their backs, and we like to make fun of other idiots behind their backs and share this kind of talk with our friends and lovers. Don't deny that you too insult people -- you can't, because you came here and already insulted me for merely admitting that I insult people. How ironic.

For a long time people believed everything was commposed of the elements of fire, earth, water and air but we've learned that's false, just like religion, you must expect to be shamed if you're going to hold on to archaic beliefs for personal reasons.

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Surely you are not serious? You must expect to be shamed if you are going to hold onto.......? So who gets to decide this stuff is archaic or not? Who gets to decide if it is for personal reasons or not? Other idiots? Wow. I don't really know what to say.

Don't you suppose the fact that you don't believe God exists might seem odd to others? Should you then also expect to be shamed for your personal belief?

No one should be shamed for anything. The only thing shame is good for is to make someone feel bad about themselves. or the shamer feel better about themselves. Either way, it's a shame.

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My girlfriend believes in God

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