We have in fact discussed the display of the Dear Departed. We have also discussed her feelings for her deceased husband. She loves him and he will always have a special place in her heart. The photos went out of the bedroom only to re-appear a few weeks later.
By the way is there a proper label for her former husband: dead husband, ex, former husband, deceased husband, Joebob, ???
I was curious what the opinion of people who may have dealt with similiar situations was. How big an issue do I make of the photos? I know I would never move into a house with another man on the wall. I presume(correctly?) that most people would feel the same way.
Lash: You have my sympathies.
I am going to jump to conclusions and say that you dont live with her?
And these pictures are in her bedroom?
Im not being rude here.. just a bit blunt.. but its her home. She can have her pictures where she wants them.
I am not so sure that you have much say so in that option until you two live together. It IS her home..
On the flip side of the coin..
She took them down so you could be comfortable, then replaced them so SHE could be comfortable.
That sounds to me that the feelings are still a bit fresh for her.
Having a relationship with her... a meaningful COMPLETE one that doesnt revolve around memories and pictures... Is going to take abit more time on your part then you may want. Are you ready for that?
I live with my mother in law who is a recient widow. Her husband died of a sudden heart attack in thier home early in the morning one day. She didnt learn of it until hours and hours later.
This was almost 2 years ago.
She still wears her wedding ring, pictures are all over the home and his 'decorations' if you will.. ( small trinkets he bought over the years) are still on display ..AND she still keeps his mail going.
people grieve diffrently.
The woman you are seeing may NEED to have images of her dead husband around her home while she is trying to go on with her life to remind her that.. it is ok to keep living.
I know my mother in law says alot of times that she truly doesnt believe her husband is gone at times. Shock is a painful thing.
And it isnt until something concrete , like a picture, or unopened mail, is in her hand that she is able to grasp reality again.
just that you are able to talk with her about this so openly is a great sign.
I assume you are not a widower yourself?
Be patient. Give patience. And if she still wants pictures in her bedroom...
have sex somewhere else for a while.
I gotta agree.. pictures of someone else while you are having sex is wierd..so just go around it for a while. ;-)