can't anyone be homosexual?

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I was having a discussion with a friend about being homosexual and am wondering what you guys think about this..

i feel that one falls in love with another person for their personality, their mind, their feelings, their soul, not for anatomical features, right?

so if you happen to meet someone who is everything you've ever wanted in another person, does is really matter if they are a male or female? maybe you're not initially attracted to that person like you would be to one of the opposite sex, but don't heterosexual relationships start that way too?

i realize that sex plays a major role in every relationship, but is it more important than forgoing being with someone who makes you happy?

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Hi Anna,

No I don't think what you are saying is possible. I think that the gender of the people that we are capable of feeling romantic about is encoded into our DNA, and is not something that we have control over.

Sex is not "more important than being with someone who makes you happy," but rather, part of what is necessary to be happy

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Nah, Anna, I don't think anyone can. You either are or you're not. As a very dear lesbian friend of mine used to say:" It takes one to know one & you, msolga, just aint one!" Very Happy

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Ya can't control genetics, it just is.

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Re:
Personally, I'd rather consider this person my best friend or even soulmate and not necessarily a lover Smile

.
To me a soulmate or real best friend is soooooo much better than a lover.

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My theory is that given the right circumsatnces, just about any woman will become intimate with another woman. Although thre are 100% lesbians, I don't think any woman is 100% straight. 99.99% but not 100%.

In fact, I am in an intimate but non-sexual relationship with a straight women now. There is no doubt that if our relationship grows, we will become lovers. In fact, in just about every way other than actual sex, we are lovers now.

When we met, she told me adamantly that she was straight and we would only be "friends." (that kind of floored me because it is the first time a woman told that to me and it completely authenticated me as a woman in her eyes, being in San Francisco and being 6'00" I get clocked all the time, in her case, I had to tell her I was TS, people who read my soul know that I am female.

Although I had a few woman to woman flings, this is the first serious relationship I have had with a woman since I changed my sex from male to female. So not only am I willing to tread softly, my sex drive is very, very low anyway.

I am so happy just being with a woman as a woman, the sex part is not important. Perhaps, later I will demand more but right now eveything is perfect just being together.

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unrooted wrote:

Personally, I'd rather consider this person my best friend or even soulmate and not necessarily a lover .
To me a soulmate or real best friend is soooooo much better than a lover.

Right on, sister.

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You're bisexual, therefore every woman is bisexual?

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stuh505 wrote:

You're bisexual, therefore every woman is bisexual?

You want to have a discussion or start a flame?

How are old are you? What is your gender? How experienced are you sexually? Number of partners, LTRs. How many lesbians and bi women have you befriended in your lifetime?

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It can be that way anna, look at the basketball star Sheryl Swoops. She just came out and said she had a lover. She was married for a while and even had a kid with her ex-husband. She met her lover and fell in love with her not because she was gay, their relationship grew and as you said, she fell in love because of her personality, her mind, feelings. Sheryl Swoops stated she was not gay before she met her lover. I think anyone could fall in love with anybody.

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Twin Peaks,

Totally disagree with given the right circumstances any woman would.....trust me, this woman will never!

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agree with MA...not this woman either

IMO Anna one would have to be inclined to be that way in the first place
genetic makeup and so forth... :wink:

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I have to agree with Momma Angel here. No offense nikki,
but you are a transsexual, and granted you feel like a woman,
you are technically a man and were raised as a man.

As such, you are hardly a spokesperson for us women and
your statement that 99.9 % could be persuaded into homosexuality is certainly a myth.

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Aurelius wrote:

It can be that way anna, look at the basketball star Sheryl Swoops. She just came out and said she had a lover. She was married for a while and even had a kid with her ex-husband. She met her lover and fell in love with her not because she was gay, their relationship grew and as you said, she fell in love because of her personality, her mind, feelings. Sheryl Swoops stated she was not gay before she met her lover. I think anyone could fall in love with anybody.

Anyone? No, any woman. Of course, there is always the exception that proves the rule but I doubt that you will find many men (in Western culture) developing this kind of realtionship.

I just got off the phone with my "lover." I said something negative about relations with men She said "Well, maybe I should become a lesbian then!" Then of course, she said she was joking, then she reminded me that we can't be total lovers because she is not gay. Then we both decided what we have now is better than having a sexual affair and even that she might one day take the leap she would be worried it would mess things up between us.

Soemtimes I feel like I am living that movie "Kissing Jessica Stein" Smile