Let's pretend my penis is a jellyfish!

I tried that line once myself. Back in Chicago, early forties. Didn't work for me either.

I was ready for a laugh and this wasnt so funny...
hmm

ok, down to the nitty gritty..
I think he has discovered his penis feels good and has not yet learned that making it feel good is a private thing and not one you pull someone else into.

Maybe that is how you can explain it?
Of course, a little more eloquent then that?

Gus, you're terrible.

shewolf, it IS funny but it's NOT. At first I was laughing then.....

....ummmm

...... perplexed.

Like most little boys (all little boys?) Mo discovered that his penis could produce pleasant sensations early on.

But this is the first time I've been invited to play and for absolute sure I don't want him inviting anyone else to play with the jellyfish.

While it is a goofy situation, it is also a very serious question.

I remember, when i was 5,6,7 it was a norm for us kids to look at each other naked.
Make fun of what we saw and giggle about it to ourselves for days.


have you talked with him about masturbation being private?
Maybe, you could take bits of that conversation and encorporate it into this new light.

im perplexed as well.

But Im not sure that just saying " No, im not going to kiss it, and you shouldnt ask anyone else to do that either" is going to give him a complex. It is true. It isnt saying there is something wrong with him, it is just innapropriate behavior.
If he doesnt learn that from you, he will try it on someone else IF.. and this is a big IF.. his intentions were for feeling and not pure imagination.

Jellyfish, eh?

I'll have to try that line tonight....let you all know how it goes.

Just tell him that if he plays with his penis the Devil will take him to the bad lace and will also kill mommy and daddy and it will be his fault. For added emphasis, pull him close to your face and scream it at the top of your lungs and try to froth a little.

That should take care of it.

Hm, somehow I am glad to have a daughter

Doesn't help, sorry boomerang. How about explaining
to him that his Penis is not a Jellyfish and bodyparts in general shouldn't be named/imagined for anything else than they
actually are. Aehm, at least for now

Sometimes I'm really, really grateful to be the parent of a girl.

No ideas. We've talked about privacy in general. I really think it was just in the context of the game, not going for any particular sensation. You don't say how you reacted, but assuming you weren't typing while he was awaiting mama and papa jellyfish kisses, you got out of the situation somehow. That's probably the best thing to do, remain somewhat noncommittal, not "EWWW!!" or "Aw that's so cute, sure!!!"

What does Mr. B think? When this sort of thing has come up, E.G. collars me, and with a pained "I did not sign up for this fatherhood deal to be asked about vagina farts" expression on his face tells me what happened, and then I handle it from there. There's an unspoken same-gender discussion expectation, but that doesn't necessarily translate because I'm both the same gender and the primary caretaker, while you're the primary caretaker and not the same gender.

Hmmmm....

Oh, didn't see CJ there!!

What was that thing, A2K mind meld? "Great minds" has been old for a while (even if true).

I wouldn't make a big deal over it. Just say it isn't appropriate, that our privates are private and that's why they are given that name. Good time to introduce more (cause I imagine it's already been broached in some way) appropriate / inappropriate exchanges. Maybe start using "That's appropriate" "That's not appropriate" when kissing goodnight, hugging before leaving him at friends house, kissing him goodbye, bathing, dressing, tickling, etc.

Youngest cub was a ham about his penis and thought it was the greatest thing ever. Not sure too many men vary from that.

Again, probably not a big deal.

The apple does not fall too far from the tree...

Little boys are just sooooo adorable.

My approach to similar offers was to smile very sweetly and announce that "Jellyfish" wasn't a game I wanted to play, but down the road there would be someone who wanted to play Jellyfish with him.

You might ask him if he wears his underwear backwards so that no one can play Jellyfish and take him by surprise.

Uh oh. I'd pause before doing that one..

And where is daddy? do you share these times at all?

Egads..... such a tricky (almost typed sticky) situation. My neice is a ham with her body and sometimes it freaks me out a bit. And, she'll walk up to me and smell my butt (like the many dogs in her life do to each other). She is also obsessed with breasts and will come up and squeeze my boobs once in a while. I tell her that they're my boobs and that it's not really appropriate to squeeze peoples' boobs.

Kinda glad I won't be as invovled with the kids when the nephew really discovers his penis.

I remember my niece poking my boobs. (what?) I was always rather droll, which I am not sure was the right way to be. Luckily, time has passed.

I am with Squinney.

I would add "those are your private parts."


"Those are his/hers private parts, we do not touch other people's private parts." (For boob pushing type stuff, or if you find him overstepping touch limits with another kid etc.)


I think it is the calm attitude and the general attitude to sex/adult touching that gets picked up, I don't see a need to do the "When you get to be grown up...." thing at this point.

"Where do I Come From" is a nice book for when you do go there, btw, if he hasn't already seen it. It does the grown up stuff really nicely.


Keep it clear and simple.


The fact that you don't have a fit and such when he asks you to jellyfish with him, is what gives the message about touch not being bad. You are simply letting him know the limits of his sexual behaviour right now, as you do other behaviour.


If he asks more, and the trick is always to let him know that it is absolutely fine TO ask more, then give him the info he asks for, no more at this stage.

He knows what he wants to know, and what he is ready for.


PS: I only had a quick read of what he is doing, and I will go back and look properly when I get home, but it sounded developmentally normal, and the affect also sounded fine (ie happy, giggly.)


If you think the emotional tone was a little off, tell me more about it.


Heehee.....my new job is therapy for kids with sexualised behaviour, so I am having a crash course in normal vs concerning sexual behaviour in little kids.

I am up to my eyebrows in bums and willies and rudy bits (I HATE parents calling them that!) and boy chests vs girl chests and 'ginas and meenies and the whole odd vocab of kids and private bits.

This is why kids have parents. So that they can teach what is appropriate, and what is not. Other people touching his penis is not appropriate.





On the upside, you now have a great story to threaten him with when he's older.

Little kids are perverts. I think your son is having an innocent sexual reaction. they don't know the rules or the norms. They learn them from you. If this happened to me I would defiantly find out how to handle it from a profesional. You can't guess at things like this. One bad move and you could send the wrong message. What if you create freaky memory for the kid when he gets older and looks back and thinks to himself "What the f**k happened at dry off time". Then when your son gets older he'll always look at you a little strange and be afraid to hug you thinking about the time mommy rubbed his jellyfish. Snap out of it. The kid is playing a sexual game. Let him find a little girl so they can play doctor like the rest of us did. You don't want the kids earliest sexual memory to involve mommy and daddy. kiss the jellyfish? Think about that for a minute.