Should I call C.P.S. (Child Protective Services)?

Reply Sun 20 Apr, 2014 10:42 pm
I have a really crazy situation. A few months ago I started dating a stripper. I actually met this stripper at a strip club and she believe it or not actually asked me to meet her outside the club. I did not even ask her for her phone number or anything, she actually gave it to me and asked me out on a date. We went out together a few times and sort of took a liking to each other. She did however tell me of something that had happened to her. This woman has a small 1 year old child. When she was pregnant with this child she got high on Marijuana when she was giving birth to the child. The people in the hospital knew this so they contacted C.P.S. (Child Protective Services) on her. She got into some trouble with them for this. She went to court and was placed on probation. They told her that if she could remain clean from marijuana and all other drugs for a period of 2 years and if she could show she was a responsible mother that they would drop her case and that they would not take away her child. She also had to demonstrate to the court that she was self sufficient and could care for the child. In order to make enough money to take care of this child she got into the business of being a stripper. This is how I met her when I came to visit her as a client in her club. I went to the club several times and got to know her well. She finally one night literally asked me out on a date and I accepted. Unfortunately, she has now progressed beyond stripping and she has became a call girl. She now works at an undercover brothel in the city of Phoenix. I am partially responsible for this and I feel really bad. What happened was she asked me if I knew of any other clubs in the area for dancers and I did know of a place that was very high class and very expensive that offered one on one nude dancing in private rooms so I told her about it and she applied and got the job. She is a VERY attractive lady. What I did not know about this place when I told her about it was that it was an undercover brothel where men pay upwards to $600 for sex with these ladies. I feel really bad about this because I am now responsible for making this girl into a call girl. I have tried and tried to get her out of this place because I am concerned she is going to get arrested under the Arizona criminal enterprise laws and get a prison term and lose that child she is already under probation for. Unfortunately, I can not convince her as she makes a LOT of money at this place and she is addicted to the money. She says she hates it but she has to do it for in order to pay for her kid. I have tried to tell her that there are many places that will help her with her kid where she does not have to do that but she will not listen to me and she even gets angry with me now when I talk to her about it. I am beginning to think that the only way that this girl is going to learn is through "tough love". She is going to have to get in trouble some how. Unfortunately, she is only 22 years old so she is sort of in that "invincible" stage that I think a lot of you people on here that are older know about. I have given several car rides to get drug tested for her CPS case and I have heard her talking to her CPS case manager on the telephone many times so I know that she is not making this stuff up. I am right now really concerned about her little one year old child too. Her child is being raised by a call girl so I am concerned about what effect that will have. I would not be concerned about the stripper act as that is fully legal but the call girl thing I am concerned about as she could get arrested at any time and they child would have a mother in jail. I am now wondering if I should "out" her to CPS in the best interest of that child. The thing is though that I am not sure if there is anything CPS could do. She does not do the prostitution in front of the child. The child is with its grandparents as she goes to work in the whorehouse. Of course the grandparents are completely clueless as to what is really happening. They think this girl is a house cleaner. I am not sure if CPS could do anything or if they are the proper people to call. I have already informed the police of this undercover brothel in town several times but they seem to not do anything. It is frustrating. I can not really call the police and tell them that this girl is engaging in prostitution because I really have no proof (no recorded phone calls, texts or anything). I am thinking CPS seems to be the best thing to do but I am not sure. I am really concerned about this girl's child. I actually care a lot about this girl and it really tears my heart apart to watch her destroy her life and her child's life and I hate to get her in trouble because I do like her but I also want to help her at the same time. Do you think I should call CPS on her? If I should, how would one go about finding the name of her case manager so I could tell her?
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Reply Mon 21 Apr, 2014 02:57 am

If the mother is ever arrested, the worst that would happen to the child would be that CPS will take custody.

If you call CPS on her, the very same thing would happen. You would essentially be causing that worst result.

If you like her, and especially if you want her to continue to like you, I would recommend NOT getting her into trouble. Doing so will only cause pain and strife in her life, and will likely lead to you no longer being a part of her life.
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Reply Mon 21 Apr, 2014 02:01 pm
I feel really bad about this because I am now responsible for making this girl into a call girl.
First off, get a grip. You are not responsible for the choices she makes. She is. She could have turned down the job and continue at the strip club where you met her. She chose to become a call girl.

As far as the child goes, is she properly caring for the child? If so, keep your nose out of it. As long as the child is cared for and kept a safe distance from the mother's activities, then I don't think CPS should be involved. And from what you wrote, this seems to be the case. Of course, the moment the child is exposed to activities that would be detrimental, then yeah, pick up the phone and call them. I would not hesitate to make the call in order to protect the child.

Reply Mon 21 Apr, 2014 03:20 pm
Agreeing with Coastal Rat

Would you be calling CPS on this child if the mother worked at an abortion clinic or some other place that conducted activites you might not agree with?
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Reply Thu 24 Apr, 2014 10:34 pm
You should call CPS only to report child abuse or neglect. You have no reason, or evidence, to believe this woman's child is being either abused or neglected. How she earns her living does not appear to impact the immediate welfare of her child. As long as the child is currently adequately cared for, and attended to, there is no need for you to call CPS, you really have nothing to report to them.

So, my answer is no, you should not call CPS.

As you said, this woman is "addicted" to the money she is now making, and it is her choice whether or not to continue the work that earns her that money. You are not responsible for the choices she makes, you did not turn her into a call girl. If she wants to risk the possibility of an arrest, in order to make a lot of money, that's her choice.

If her current lifestyle bothers you that much, perhaps you should discontinue your relationship with her. Your idea of trying to manipulate her with "tough love"--by trying to get her into trouble of some sort--doesn't sound like a particularly good strategy to express your alleged concern.

It doesn't sound like she wants you to continue trying to get her to stop what's she's doing--you say she gets angry at you--so perhaps it is best if you butt out of her life. She's entitled to make her own choices, including those you don't agree with, and you have a choice about whether to continue the relationship with her. Neither she nor her child seem to be in any sort of immediate jeopardy, or in need of assistance or intervention, and it might be better if you stopped thinking of ways to try to disrupt her life--it's her life, and her choice how to support herself and her child.
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Reply Fri 25 Apr, 2014 07:36 am
Stay out of this - completely.

She is right where she wants to be.

PS - It sounds like she lives with her parents AND they babysit the child. So what is the money problem?
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bobsal u1553115
Reply Sat 26 Apr, 2014 10:39 pm
If you have to ask, the answer is YES!
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Reply Tue 3 May, 2022 12:34 am
Yes! Strippers should work at CPS.
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Reply Fri 20 May, 2022 09:53 pm
Why don't you just tell her " To hell with this lets just get married" because you seem to care for her and all. Otherwise leave her to her damnation but again look at the history of Charles Manson and Truman Capote. Protective Services are their for a reason. This woman is nuts and clearly does not care, just give the kid up for adoption already

Again you care about then marry her
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