Re: Major Trouble Brewing-HELP!
eoe wrote:Okay. I've barely been able to work today for thinking about this potentially sordid mess. I think I know what I've got to do but geez louise, this is so dicey.
Some of you may remember that my Godson (let's call him Joe) is in college here in my city. We've wanted this for him for many years and it was a joyous occasion when he was accepted. Last year had its' ups and downs but he made it through and now he's back for his Sophomore year. Okay fine.
Altho' his mother has never outright said anything to me, she has, in the last couple of years, dropped enough hints to let me know that Joe's
sexuality has been in question since high school. He's had 'girlfriends' in
the past but he's also had relationships with guys who were obviously gay. Supposedly they were only friends but it has always been my experience, having many, many gay friends, that straight men and gay men simply do not hang out together. Of course, I'm of another generation and could be totally out of the loop on todays' attitude about this but I can only go on what I know.
Now, my youngest stepson (we'll call him Reggie) is gay. He's out, it's no secret, everyone has accepted it. Well, Joe and Reggie met each other for the first time here at a party in my home several weeks ago and now I hear last night, from my oldest stepson, that Joe and Reggie are hanging out together. I know that Reggie, who's a hair stylist, has cornrowed Joe's hair but I did not know about them hanging out and here's the crux of the dilemma...
Reggie is HIV-positive. I know that I need to tell Joe, in case Reggie hasn't, but I'm not sure how to do it without bringing Joe's sexuality into the picture. I don't want to sound accusatory but I want him to know how PISSED OFF I would be if they should get together. Out of all the gay boys in this city, for them to get together, disregarding the havoc that this could cause between the familes, would be like a slap in the face to both me and Joe's mother, my first cousin, not to mention putting me and his mothers' relationship in total jeopardy. A desperate, angry mother will be looking for someone to blame and I've got a feeling that the eyes will be cast this way, simply because they met in my home.
I know I need to talk to Joe but, am I making a big deal out of nothing? Am I jumping the gun? Should I take the risk and stay quiet? Should I take a stick to both of their asses? What?
How about an update...
You know I was worried about Joe and Reggie creating problems for the family, me and my cousin, Joe's mother, in particular? Well, I was forced to phone Joe's mother last night. I had to tell her that I am worried about her son. Joe has not visited me or phoned me since Mother's Day over two months ago. He claims that he's been so busy with work and summer school (he's going to be a five year student) that he just hasn't had the opportunity. When I happened to run into him about three weeks ago, he looked thinner than I've ever seen him and particularly scruffy. I tried not to think anything of it. He's a broke college student, working and in summer school.
In the meantime, Reggie was arrested about two and a half months ago for selling Ecstasy to an undercover police officer. It was his first offense and he got parole, provided he attends a special college program which is supposed to begin in the fall.
After Reggie's arrest, Joe called here looking for a phone number for him. (He'd lost his phone or something, i don't remember.) Anyway, I told Joe about Reggie's arrest and finally admitted that i never cared for their association, stressing to Joe the importance of hanging with positive, preogressive people and not with lazy-ass drug slingers like Reggie. And then i refused to give him Reggie's number. Stupid, I know but...
While I was at Reggie's place last week, a few things happened to make me think that he's still dealing. His phone was ringing off the hook the whole time and then he said something stupid to try and cover for it and all he did was arouse my suspicions. I could always be wrong but, I could also be right.
I asked when was the last time he saw Joe and he said it was about a month ago? Hmmm...And then, not five minutes after I asked about him, Reggie's phone rang and guess who it was?
Reggie tried to talk in code, not letting him know that I was there but I insisted that he tell him, just so Joe would know that I know. When Reggie hung up I asked him what did Joe want and he said Joe asked him what supplement is he supposed to take to prep for a drug test?
So last night I called Joe's mother and told her what was going on here. Not only is Joe hanging around with my no-account stepson, I'm suspicious that he's also on drugs. And I'm not talking about weed. I'm talking harder stuff, Ecstasy perhaps, or worse. His mother shared with me the fact that although Joe is getting financial aid, he's burning up that money and hers too. She said that he'll call and ask her for 500.00, she'll send it to him and then just a few days later, he'll call and ask for another 500.00. She had never told me that before.
I'm not going to let her foot his possible drug habit if I can help it.
The point of all this is, i was leery about how her son could damage our relationship, my cousin and I, but we talked last night and our relationship is just fine. She hates Atlanta and she hates the school he attends?-as if things would be different with him anywhere else????-but she's not hating me and that was my fear. Our relationship is sound and that what matters to me most.
