Major Trouble Brewing-HELP!

Wow. Way to go eoe!
Joe n' Reggie are lucky to have you around.
Yeah, you definetly deserve a round of drinks on me for dealing with that one :wink:
deep breath!

Actually, it was easier than I thought.
Turning 50 makes a big difference in a womans' life.
Things that used to be so hard to deal with are a piece of cake now. Why fret over the bs? Just get on with it.

But I could use that drink.

"Why fret over the bs? "


words to live by

Glad it wet well, eoe. You did the right thing.

The next drink is on me, eoe. Good for you.

Thanks guys. It's good to have back-up.

The Ghost of Emily Post has assured me that because you dealt with a Very Tacky Situation that in the near future you will have three incredible pieces of luck in finding scarce parking spaces.

Virtue is rewarded!

Hold your dominion.

Whatever the backlash may be, it was worth your peace of mind that you don't have to fret and worry about "are they" "did he tell him" or any of the "what ifs". Nothing worse than worrying yourself silly. Good job.

The first two rounds are on me, ladies.

More drinks from me - great to hear you did it and did it promptly! I wouldn't want to be in your shoes!

Backlash? I don't anticipate any. Joe may get up in Reggie's face about not telling him but Reggie had better not come anywhere near me with attitude. I told my Godson because I felt he needed to know. It's that damn simple. Anybody who doesn't like it can kiss my padoodie.

Still thinking about possible backlash. Who do you think will come after me? Reggie? Joe? Reggie's mother?

possibly reggie.
I doubt his mother, but I dont know her.

it is just, from the way you describe him, that he seems like a ' drama queen' .. no pun intended.
He will make this all about him and try to take it out on YOU for being the responsible one.
saying things to deliberatly hurt you
maybe cause friction in the family by telling everyone about what you said.. etc.
It doesnt sound like that behavior is beyond him.
sadly enough..

eoe, Personally I think you have nothing to fear from someone who sounds a lot like a little brat. One good swat from you, and it's over.

You're too strong to worry about such a small, weak-sounding person.

Er, just my opinion!

He is truly a drama queen, no doubt. And I am somewhat concerned about how this will play out between my husband and I, if it gets back to him that I told Joe about Reggie. That's where the friction may come in. His son vs. my Godson and where my loyalties should lie. I can't imagine anyone outside of hubby not understanding the predicament these two young men had put me in and why I had to tell Joe. But remember, Reggie's status is not known outside of the immediate family. Aunts and cousins and such aren't aware and sometimes, you wonder if that's a good thing or not?

I had a cousin, an AIDS victim, who died over five years ago. His older sister, whom he lived with, contracted the virus as well altho' we never knew if it came somehow from her little brother or some drug addict she may have gotten involved with (she wasn't picky about her men). She fell into a coma last year and eventually died. We don't even know if it was a result of AIDS or what but it forces you to wonder just how safe is it to NOT know about someone's health status. Is it better to tell or not?

You have told Joe not to mention it to anyone else and for some reason I don't think he will.

If he says anything it would be to Reggie himself, so if Reggie gets pissed over you telling, it will be Reggie who says something to you. You can handle that.

Should Reggie tell his mother and she have something to say to you, well you can handle her too.

What is the worst thing anyone can accuse you of or be pissed with you about? Telling? Sharing something private? Remind them that if THEIR loved one was hanging out with an HIV infected pal, wouldn't they want their loved one to be aware of a potential danger in case of accident or trauma? It really is the obligation of the HIV infected person to inform close friends and lovers of their situation. Not to do so is incredibly selfish, not to mention dangerous. In this day and age of acceptance it is not the fact that someone has HIV, it is the fact that they conceal it and people feel more frightened of that than the disease itself.

I have a friend who is HIV positive. He told me within days of our friendship and I was so impressed with his forthrightness that I was not put off in any way. I am now closer to him than many of my other friends - maybe I feel a bit more protective of him. But I can tell you if he were injured in a traffic accident and I were with him, I think I would be more confident about being able to handle it and would not shy away from informing medical staff of his condition and keeping other injured parties away from the blood where possible. It's just good common sense in my opinion.

I think it's much better to tell, given the risks involved. I think you did the right thing.

My brother has AIDS, he's 55 now. I think he's unusual in that he was in intensive care almost 10 years ago, with that pneumonia AIDS patients get, actually died and was brought back to life... and he's been OK ever since. Lots of drugs.

Anyway, he didn't tell me he had it for many years. I was angry when I found out, not because of health risks, but because he didn't give me the chance to comfort him all those years.

Sort of off-topic, I guess, but AIDS has changed the lives of so many of us.

I just can't imagine NOT telling in your situation. You may have saved Joe's life. I think that's worth a little backlash from the drama queen.

You'd better believe it.

The very fact that Joe was startled by the information indicates something about Reggie's honesty--which reinforces your logic in passing the information on.

Reggie in a snit? Hasn't he been in snits before?

Reggie's Mama? Is your relationship with her so close and loving that you'd regret having hurt her by telling the truth?

Joe? Let's hope that if he starts throwing recriminations around that his bitch isn't, "You shoulda told me sooner."

Your husband? Now, this is serious. If he's upset I'd guess that his decision to object to you passing on the information is more based on his own denial than the needs of the situation.

Information is information and in this case Reggie's HIV may be life-or-death information.

You did the hard thing, the right thing and now you're waiting for the fallout--which you don't deserve. Only the "immediate family" knows? Personally I think that a godson who may jump into bed with Reggie is up-close-and-personal immediate family with a need to know.

Hold your dominion.

I had an e-friend who died of aids.
I had been emailing /IM'ing/ and sometimes calling him for almost 10 years. With out having actually 'met' him he was one of my best friends.
He didnt tell me he had aids. Never once.. he would tell me about his colds, his pneumonia.. etc. And there is a little piece of me that wondered at times why he was so sick all the time..
I had not heard from him in about 3 months and I was sending emails like crazy.
His roommate.. well.. his lover of 7 years finally told me.
I was absolutly crushed.I was pissed off.. he never told me?
I was upset that something that awful wasnt cureable.
I was angry that he never looked to me for comfort. He never shared that with me and I didnt understand why.

Then i realized that EVERYONE probally knew he had aids. So there was no way to have a normal conversation with anyone after that. Everyone would be wanting to talk about HIS health.. and HIS meds.. Did you take them today? how are you feeling? You better stay home.. you could get sick.. Here eat this, this is supposed to help.. I wouldnt have a beer if I were you .. blah blah blah blah.
Where and how could he ever have a normal life with everyone asking these kinds of questions? Where was there any privacy when everyone is worried about every inch ofyour body.. inside and out? How can you develop new friend ships when you have such a horrible disease that leaves even the most educated person a little shy to even TOUCH you?
Borris- your friend not telling you was his way of keeping something normal and comfortable in his ever shrinking life.
You did the absolut best thing in the world for them.. you never said anything and treated them just like everyone else.
In a persons life who has aids.. that never happens.


( sorry.. didnt mean to de rail this.. )