Flushd,
Those are some pretty nice words. Thank you. I sometimes wonder about my capacity though. Sometimes it seems like it's not enough and sometimes it seems too much.
I am doing my best to take care of me and the cats. The weather is kind of funny but nothing too scary yet.
Love You All!
Well everyone. I thank you all for your posts. However, I just made my decision.
Let me explain. Remember I said we couldn't afford to go on that trip earlier this year but my husband wouldn't back out of it because he would have been embarrassed? Well, in order to go on that trip, I had to borrow $400.00 from his nephew to pay the electric and phone bill before we left. I wrote up a promissory note on how to pay it back and we had the agreement that we would NEVER tell my husband because it would embarrass him and I would not have that. Well, my nephew-in-law agreed. I told him over and over we could not afford to take the trip hoping he would understand and somehow decide to call it off or postpone it. Well, I should have just said, look, we can't afford to go and Johnny won't back out because he'd be embarrassed. Well, I have to take the responsibility for that.
Now, I have the money for the payments I promised Joe. I asked him for his mailing address when the second payment was due because he told me on the due date of the first payment he was coming to get it. Well, he didn't show up so I had both payments. Again, he said, just hang onto it. I will come and get it.
Well, hubby comes home today totally po'd because newphew told him about the loan and said I hadn't paid him anything! I explained the whole situation to my husband. What did he say? "Embarrassed? You bet your ass I am embarrassed!" Well, then we got into a discussion about a few things. I asked him why is it ok for him to be so angry at me for this and yet I am not supposed to be angry at him because he has in essence told me he doesn't care enough about me to even care about preparing for the hurricane. He told me, "You are the one that doesn't care. You embarrassed me!"
Well, then he said, "It's not time to panic yet." Well, since the storm is due here in between 12 to 14 hours, I guess my question is when do I start to panic? And is being prepared for a possibility panicking?
So, I have made my decision. I am outta here. Louisiana is a community property so at the worst I guess the court would make him sell everything and he can pay the bills. The only thing I want is my truck and the ability to leave. I can't do it anymore. No, that's not true. I could do it. I choose not to.
LMAO! I take it you agree, Osso? Well, it's just like with anything else, when enough is enough, it's enough!
I think you may waver on your sureness, but that you are going through the process and your decision will seem more and more the right one.
Osso,
Well, my heart may want to waiver, but just as sure as I am of all the things I believe in I can use that surety and strength in this.
I know in my heart it is over. I may not want it to be but it is. I can no longer deny that. So, time to pick up, dust myself off, and move on!
Rita is starting to make her presence known. Getting very windy. If y'all don't hear from me after awhile, we probably lost power but will be ok.
Thanx so much again everyone!
Ok, Momma!
Take care of yourself girl, and those cats of yours.
My heart is with you. Are you staying at your house during the hurricaine?
Flushed,
Thank you. For now, yes. I have some feral cats here at the shelter that I am trying to trap so I can move them if necessary.
We are now hearing that winds will be between 50-75 mph and heavy rain and possible tornadoes. So, those I know we can survive. But, I am making preparations to leave if we have to.
Excellent Momma!
Sounds like you've got everything under control. I'm glad you have an 'escape plan' just in case. One smart cookie!
Momma Angel--
I'm with Osso. Major decisions and the implications of major decisions are frightening, but you're the sort of person who will be much happier Acting than Reacting.
Hold your dominion.
Holding and holding pretty well right now!
Best wishes, Momma Angel.
Sometimes making the decision is the hard part. Following through will not be easy, but perhaps a strong vision toward the future will keep you going.
With all this encouragement, how can I possibly feel alone or afraid of the future? I can't and it means so much to me.
Momma, I am so happy you've made this decision. Stick to it. You must feel a sense of freedom knowing you won't be around this sort of maniac, who apparently tries to such up your energy for himself. Don't let him blow all the money just to get back of you. Get a good attorney.
I can't get over some of you who are close to this horrible hurricane. Good luck to you and the kitties.
Sun
NPD Spouse
My spouse was recently put on medication for ADHD, Depression, NPD and Borderline Personality Disorder. I fully understand what you are going through. My husband does not know how to process things and found someone else who would put him high on a pedastal. I learned that lesson a long time ago. Granted out of his inability or unwillingness to get treatment years ago when I suggested, he would not have another family while having his first family around. I love my husband but it is difficult at times since he will put on a positive front and every one thinks he is so wonderful, their hero, etc. I have seen the other side. His famous quote I don't need a therapist is a classic response for someone with npd. I have researched this topic and the others he has been diagnosed with above so I may be able to communicate with him regarding our son. Divorce is supposed to be happening. So he wants to dump his first family for the other. Go figure! Now this gets better, she suffers from Depression and low self-esteem issues. Her teenage son is in counseling, the baby fortunately does not have any problems yet. I on the other hand am healthy and so is my son. Life will keep changing everyday. I don't like my family being hurt, he made his choice. I was willing to be with him through treatment, whatever it took to help him through the difficulty he has had for years. He did not want my help. I don't put him on a pedastal, I pray for him, I love him yes, our son hates him right now, but deep down underneath he loves him too. These spouses unfortunately will destroy the very families who have stayed committed and find someone else on a temporary basis. My bet is that his current relationship will not last forever. For me, I have lived with this for 14 years. Some things you have to let drop and other things you have to be consistent on. You don't want to walk on eggshells because you don't know how the spouse is going to react. Basically, it is training and loving a child who is an adult. It is a daily battle, most things I have found is better for me to handle the logistics, since he has no way to emotionally comprehend and cope with conflicts in life. It is very much work, tiring on you as a person, but if you are willing to stick it out, then go to God in prayer (if your belief) he will help you tremendously. Support groups are also good, even if they don't attend, it will help you better able to handle things and receive insight from others' experience. When my husband skipped town a couple of times in a very short time frame, he hit the boiling point. Because of his unwillingness to get help years ago, he became progressively worse and now is getting the meds. I do hope this helps you a little. Research the internet. Find support groups. It helps to talk even if you are the one getting help because you have a loved one in crisis. That is True Love and Committment.
Blessings,
hkgn,
Thank you so much. Sometimes just knowing others are going through the same thing can bring great comfort. I am just truly grateful I have no children.
Tiring? Oh my! Draining, so draining sometimes. But, my husband is gone for five days. He took his terminally ill father on a trip back to his hometown. I will stay with my husband through his losing his father. No one should ever go through that alone. I do love him. He can be the most wonderful man in the world (especially for everyone else to see) but he just seems to have no concept whatsoever of how to sympathize, empathize, etc. It's mindboggling for me at times.
I'm pretty numb to a lot of it right now. I am relaxing these five days and getting myself and my house organized.
If it wasn't for God, I wouldn't have lasted this long. God is my strength. I will make it through this. I pray for my husband all the time. I wish mine would accept help but he refuses. I have even thought of getting medicine for him and putting it in his food, but I just don't feel that would be right.
Thank you so much again for what you posted. It does help me a great deal.
I will say a prayer for you also because I know the kind of pain you go through. God bless!
Phoenix, my friend,
Thanx so much. As a matter of fact, I am going out today and getting one of those books! I have been getting some professional help and my counselor suggested a couple. I am going to read as much of it as I can before he gets home.
I know I have been feeding into his thing (don't really know what to call it). Sometimes it just seemed the easier thing to do, but now that I am trying to change that, it is definitely taking a bit of a toll. But, I am strong, and I have my faith, and I have support.
So, I will get through this! Thank you so very much, Phoenix!
